SEE ALSO: naughtiness • nightmares • over-tired, being • sleep, unable to get to • told, never doing what you’re
bed, wanting to go to before someone else
Being desperate for bed when your friends or family are all revved up and raring to party can be painful, whether you’re a toddler, a teen or, frankly, a grown-up. No one likes to miss out or be seen as a party-pooper. But no one likes being tortured either; and when the pressure to stay up becomes too hard to bear for someone in your household, bring out Goodnight Already!, the story of a sleepy bear and his way-too-bright-eyed duck neighbour, zinging on caffeine and in need of some attention. Bear’s pain is written in the bags beneath his eyes – and, not surprisingly, he becomes somewhat grouchy after a while. We, too, want to strangle and indeed roast the duck for being so insensitive and selfish, especially when the bear’s head and shoulders start to droop. All of which will persuade the sleepyhead near you that it’s OK to be tired before everyone else and to go to bed without further ado.
SEE ALSO: alone, wanting to be left • over-tired, being • sibling rivalry • stand up for yourself, not feeling able to
bed, wetting the
For the child just beginning to go nappy-free, waking up with wet sheets now and then is inevitable. As long as there’s a good-tempered grown-up in the house, a stack of spare sheets in the airing cupboard and a bottle of gin beneath the ironing board, everything is likely to be all right. Those who make a nightly habit of it will be reassured to know that the little girl in Do Little Mermaids Wet Their Beds? is a nightly bed-wetter, too – even though she can already dress herself, write her name and even ride a two-wheeled bike. She hates the horrid plastic sheet her mum puts on her bed. Just as she’s about to develop a hang-up about wetting her bed, she has a dream that makes her realise it’s no big deal and, for the first time, wakes up dry (though, to the bewilderment of her mother, wearing a soggy coat . . .).
For older bed-wetters, we prescribe Max Archer, Kid Detective – the brainchild of an American paediatrician (see: tummy ache). Max is a streetwise-yet-sensitive trilby-wearing dude in the mould of Chandler’s detective, Philip Marlowe. Having suffered from bed-wetting himself until he was eleven, Max now helps others kick the habit on a paying basis. When he takes on eight-year-old Billy as a client, Max gives him his usual spiel: these are the causes of bed-wetting, and here are some ways to help your body wake itself up if your bladder becomes too full. The snappy prose skims the embarrassment off all this talk of bodily functions, and the clear explanations and suggestions allow the child to assume responsibility for their issue themselves.
If bed-wetting persists in older children, it may be an indication of emotional upset, trauma or abuse – as it is for Willie in Goodnight, Mister Tom. A wartime evacuee, Willie arrives in the village of Little Weirwold malnourished and with his underwear sewn to his shirt. Though eight years old, he wets his bed every night and expects to be beaten for it. Tom Oakley, the elderly man who takes him in, shows great tact in his handling of the wet sheets; and as Willie discovers what it is to be treated with kindness and patience rather than hostility and suspicion, he gradually escapes the habit. Magorian writes with such hope, such positive energy and light, that one feels the real possibility that Willie will recover from the life he led with his over-zealous, religious mother and could even achieve his dream of becoming an actor one day. Sharing this encouraging story with a bed-wetting older child may help initiate discussions about what their underlying trigger may be.
Of course, for children just discovering the mixed pleasures of growing up, it may be that something else is going on . . . (see: periods; wet dreams).
SEE ALSO: abuse • baby, being a • embarrassment • trauma
bedroom, having to share your
SEE: alone, wanting to be left • share, inability to
bereavement
SEE: death of a loved one
best friend, falling out with your
Having a best friend is a high-stakes game. Bliss while it lasts; torment when there’s a bust-up. Prepare toddlers to ride the ups and downs by introducing them to Gossie and Gertie. These two yellow goslings do everything together: splash in the rain, dive in the pond, play hide-and-seek in the daisies. They even wear the same boots (Gossie’s red, Gertie’s blue). But then one day one of them decides not to follow the other, but to go in the opposite direction . . . A lovely little board book3 for reassuring a child that even when your shadow wants to branch out, it doesn’t mean the friendship’s gone awry.
My Best, Best Friend begins with Lola and Lotta doing everything together. They swap their fruit at lunchtime, and whenever Mrs Hanson says ‘Get into pairs’, they don’t have to think twice about who to choose. But then a new girl, Evie, arrives and Mrs Hanson asks Lotta to look after her. Those downward-looking eyes of Lola’s really capture how bad it can feel to be left out for a while. Happily, she and Lotta re-establish their special connection just as Evie finds a new bestie, too.
The transition from primary to secondary school offers a child the chance to shuffle their deck of friends. But deciding where they belong can be nerve-wracking, especially for girls. Will they and their friends go girly, geeky or sports-crazy? Or will they, as many of the boys seem able to do, try to remain neutral and independent? For those left in the lurch when their old