Throughout the book, I talk about the gamer as a nebulous, gender-neutral third-party. This generalised language feels like the clearest way to approach the issue – by addressing the part of the person that is, to varying degrees and shades, dedicating time to video games. Certainly not everything in this book will apply to any one gamer, and each and every gamer will buck the trends talked about here in some way.
My Background
My involvement with video game addiction is considerably varied. It includes working with addicts themselves, a background as a video game designer and, perhaps most importantly, being someone who grew up immersed in gaming.
As a psychotherapist, I have been in practice nearly 10 years at the time of writing this book. Part of the shifting landscape of my work is that, increasingly, clients’ lives are being experienced digitally, either through time spent on social media, browsing the internet, or playing video games. I offer a focus on this as part of my niche as a mental health practitioner. I offer support to clients who view much of their world, for better or worse, on a screen. Quite organically I have found many of these clients to be struggling with their gaming habits and, as a result, I formed a specific method for approaching and tackling this issue, much of which this book seeks to outline.
I will confess that I originally balked at the idea of writing this book. While I spend much of my life suited-up in the role of the ever-so-serious therapist, I also spend much of the rest of my life as a self-identified hardcore gamer – someone who worked for nearly four years as a games designer and who considers themselves to be extremely pro-gaming. A great deal of the time I was training as a psychotherapist, I was surrounded by people talking with bemusement and condescension about their clients’ gaming habits; the last thing I wanted to do was to add to what I saw as the already numerous voices eager to speak out against gaming.
A colleague, who works with many students that game to problematic levels, suggested I take on the issue. He argued that I would have a unique perspective. Although I disagreed, I did go out and begin to read the literature on the subject. What I quickly noticed was that much of what was out there was heavily set against video games. Frequently books will, both knowingly and inadvertently, treat games as the enemy. The result of this perspective being that you are either one of the people that is able to game without any problem, or someone who is addicted who should never go near a game again. This has the twofold effect of scaring off addicts for fear that they might lose their precious hobby, while offering no help for those who could, without being viewed as addicts, benefit from a more balanced and considered pattern of play.
This led me to the realisation that writing a book on gaming addiction was absolutely what I should do. I realised that I was in a strong position to comment: I could write a book about video game addiction that promoted gaming in a positive and affirmative light. I would present the first non-wrist-slapping guide to avoiding the pitfalls of harmful gaming.
Of the problematic and addicted gamers I have worked with, some of them have wanted the problem fixed, some of them have guarded their problem fiercely, and some did not see a problem. All of them have contributed to my understanding of the issue, as have other clients I have seen, many of whom have turned toward compulsion in order to manage the distress within their lives. The quotes from gamers I have used within this text have all derived from problematic and addicted gamers that I have either counselled or interviewed – each one adapted enough to preserve their anonymity. I am very grateful for everything they have given me in understanding the problem.
I see this book as being about helping people to get the most out of their hobby of video gaming, not the least. At the core of this book is a message that I would want gamers to hear: in overusing gaming, in making it stand in for what life lacks, you are doing gaming, yourself and those you love a disservice. Gaming is hugely enjoyable when it’s done with fun and abandon, but its soul is stolen away once it starts to be used to compensate for or distract from the world outside.
My Experiences as a Gamer
I have struggled to control how much I game through many periods of my life. Learning about how gaming addiction has affected others has often made me reflect on my own tussles. Over the years things have evened out for me, as they do for many problematic gamers. I would say that I now exist on a slow moving tide that moves between being highly engaged in games in a positive way, to relying on them to drown out other difficulties by playing unhealthily, before pulling back into a period of playing very little. Some time after completing these stages I will find a game I love, pick it up and soon be once again engaged. The process does not always move in strict order, and no longer do things reach a level that impacts on my functioning. I have become very conscious of the signs and know when to and how to exercise control.
I have been keen on gaming since I was a boy. I remember at 17 years old, shortly after having bought “Final Fantasy VII”, my mother asked me if I would be, ‘alright for a week on [my] own in the house’ while she went on holiday with her partner. I told her with considerable confidence that I would be.
I think at one point during that week I clocked 19 hours straight on my Playstation, minus a few frantic breaks when I was finally overwhelmed by the demands of my digestive tract. At the same time, when friends got in touch during that week, I would happily up and see them, with no negative feelings about leaving the game other than an excitement for when I returned. I look back on this as a period of happy and positive gaming.
This contrasts starkly with a period of ill health in my early twenties when I threw myself into playing another game in the same franchise – “Final Fantasy X-2” – to the extent that I started to lose confidence in most of my relationships. That was, on reflection, unhealthy and could have been handled differently; I don’t think I ever played for 19 hours, but the ease with which I was prepared to sideline the appeals of others was clearly wrong. For months my sole housemate would carry out her life behind me, barely noticed. Nobody should have to endure such brazen indifference within their own home.
The real difference between these two experiences was that the first was driven by a genuine love of the game I was playing, while the second was a sullen alternative to a situation that I didn’t want to face. Curiously and importantly, “Final Fantasy VII” was a wonderful game, one I remember fondly. “Final Fantasy X-2” was, in my opinion, a plodding rehash of things I’d seen before though it still provided a suitably numbing and lengthy series of goals that diverted my thoughts away from my life.
There is an important distinction here that is central to this book; one period of play was engaged and passionate, the other was escapist and deadening. When I have played games in an unhealthy way I have found that time spent not gaming has felt like wasted time. I became fixated on my in-game goals; everything else became a distraction. The more time I crammed in, the more I would obsess about making my life as efficient as possible in order to obtain the best results in the game.
These days I consider myself to be an exceptionally capable scheduler – well able to plan, account for time, finish on time and so on and so forth. Bizarrely, I would say that I learned most of this through over-gaming. Constantly, I would try to minimize all other activity in my life to create as much time as possible for gaming. I might have chores, homework and sometimes work with my father to be done, all of which I would rattle through at breakneck speed so that I could get back to my beloved ZX Spectrum, my Amiga 500, my Playstation (or Playstation 2) and more recently my Xbox 360. For those of you up to speed with gaming, you would be right to notice that I am behind the times. While being able to organise my time is clearly useful, the mindset that it sprang from was less than healthy; I needed to get my life out of my way so I could get back to gaming.
As an adult, I am aware that I still have the capacity to game problematically and I can see clearly how this hurts me. Now I know to break off a long stint of gaming some 20 minutes or so before I have