‘Us?’
‘Yes, myself and the prosecution. Once we are assigned to your case, the Dominion…’
‘What’s the Dominion again?’
She gave a patient smile.
‘The Dominion, the Judge presiding over your trial. The Dominion allows both counsels access to your Liberiudicium for a period of two hours only, in order to acquaint ourselves with the facts of the case. Based on this, we compile our case files.’
She tapped the folder on the desk. He saw that it was labelled “David James Shepherd, London, England. Born 14th October 1969. Catholic.”.
‘May I see it?’
He reached for it, but she quickly snatched it away from him.
‘I’m afraid that is against regulations Mr Shepherd. Regulation 57 states that “Any defendant in Purgatory …’
‘Okay, okay. Forget about it. But, what’s your gut feeling?’
‘I don’t speculate on my client’s chances Mr Shepherd. I merely represent them to the best of my abilities.’
‘But you must have some sort of feeling on it. Would you say that I’ve committed more sins than most?’
‘The Court of Saint Peter isn’t concerned with all of the sins that a soul has committed on Earth. It is only concerned with ten sins that a soul may transgress.’
‘Only ten?’
‘Indeed. Heaven is His Kingdom and a place of pure goodness. He hasn’t the time, nor the inclination, to offer eternal paradise to those who are susceptible to temptation and evil. He’s tried that once, and we all remember how that little experiment worked out.’
It sounded as if there were no apple trees in Heaven anymore. Or serpents for that matter.
‘So which ten sins does the court consider?’
She looked at him in shock.
‘Are you making a joke?’
‘No,’ he said, defensively.
She gave him a disappointed look.
‘They have been referred to in various forms through history. The Greeks called them the “Decalogue”. The original Hebrew term was “Assert HaDibrot”, which translates to “The Ten Statements”.
She could see that he still had absolutely no idea.
‘I believe that you would know them as the Ten Commandments.’
She motioned behind them to the rear of the courtroom and the double doors through which they had entered a moment ago. Above the doors, hung two enormous stone tablets which he had missed upon entering the court. Inscribed on each were five lines of ancient engravings.
‘Are you having a laugh? The Ten Commandments? That’s what God uses to judge everyone’s passage to Heaven by?’
Olivia did not appreciate his tone.
‘Not everyone, no. Different religions have different criteria into the afterlife, but you were christened as Catholic, were you not?’
‘Well I suppose so, but …’
‘Then you will be judged by the Ten Commandments.’
He wasn’t even sure he could recite the Ten Commandments, let alone be sure that he hadn’t broken any of them. He started to read them.
I. I am the Lord your God.
II. Thou shalt have no other Gods before me.
III. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
IV. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
V. Honour thy father and thy mother.
VI. Thou shalt not kill.
VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
VIII. Thou shalt not steal.
IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
X. Thou shalt not covet anything that belongs to thy neighbour.
The one that caused David the most concern was “Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbour”. A few years ago he’d reported the botched extension to his neighbour’s garage. It was hardly false testimony though - that garage looked as if it could have tipped over onto their fence at any moment. Besides, it was a bloody eyesore.
“Thou shalt not kill” also caused concern, but he remembered that Olivia had said that he hadn’t killed any of the thugs that had attacked Helen. He should be fine. Shouldn’t he?
‘So what, if I’ve broken any of these Commandments I’m going straight to Hell?’
‘It isn’t that simple.’
‘Well, how many am I allowed to break? Two? Three?’
‘It’s not like baseball Mr Shepherd. Three strikes doesn’t necessarily mean you are out.’
‘So if I’ve only broken one or two I’d be fine?’
‘In these trials, it is rather common for people to have broken two or three commandments.’
‘And they go to Heaven?’
‘Most of them certainly do. As you know God forgives us. Even if people have broken the Commandments, if they’ve atoned and asked God for forgiveness, they generally pass to Heaven.’
‘What about those that don’t? They go to Hell?’
‘Please do lower your voice Mr Shepherd. It isn’t as black and white as you make it sound.’
‘Surely you can’t get more black and white than Heaven and Hell.’
‘Well, Hell has many circles. There are different sentences that can be handed out.’
‘What do you mean “different circles”?’
‘Mr Shepherd, rather than debating what will happen to you if we lose, I suggest we focus on ensuring we win. Wouldn’t you agree?’
She had a point.
‘Where do we start?’ he asked.
‘As I said, I’ve reviewed your Liberiudicium and given the short timeframes, have focused on the periods of your life where statistically, most Commandments tend to have been broken.’
She flicked open the folder.
‘For men it is their seventeenth and eighteenth birthdays which, in your instance, were relatively uneventful, if you don’t mind me saying.’
David’s mind drifted back to watching Countdown in his room, eating birthday cake.
‘For male souls who were married, such as yourself, a number of Commandments are typically broken in the weeks preceding the wedding. And whilst I can’t say that I approve of the activities of your “stag weekend”, technically no Commandments were broken.’
She squinted as she familiarised herself with the details.
‘Although I’m sure the prosecution will not miss their chance to point out that livestock should never be treated that way.’
They both blushed and he was relieved to see her snap the folder shut again.
‘Now, before we go any further, are there any sinful actions in your life that I should know about? Are there any Commandments that you, yourself,