That mothers live through their sons is, however, still true. While this happens across the social spectrum, it is often more pronounced in immigrant families and among those at the top of the social ladder. Social class and inherited wealth make it likely that a married woman will be a full-time wife and mother, even if she is brighter and more able than her husband. Such women can be frustrated by thwarted ambitions of their own, especially if their husbands turn out to be failures in contrast to their wives' more successful fathers. Now that women are able to rise to the top of corporations, professions, elected offices, and even the armed services, this is changing. Women no longer have to live through the accomplishments of others. A woman no longer has to be “the woman behind the throne” if she has what it takes herself.

      Atalanta and Meleager—Twinning Couple

      Of all the versions of the story of Atalanta, I find Bernard Evslin's narrative (Heroes, Gods, and Monsters, 1968) about how Meleager and Atalanta met not only the most vivid, but also the most psychologically true explanation of their attraction. In my own telling, I borrow the situation that brought them together from him and then interpret the story so that it makes internal psychological sense. In classical Greek and Roman versions, the circumstances given differ greatly; but in all of them, Meleager falls in love with Atalanta at first sight. She evokes an image, a yearning for a feminine counterpart—his dream girl or anima figure, in Jung's psychological model. When men talk about attractive women, their first comment usually focuses on their appearance or on particular physical attributes.

      Atalanta and Meleager are a standout matched set—a striking couple, both archers and hunters at home in the wilderness. Atalanta evokes Artemis, twin sister to Apollo. She has her silver bow, he his golden one. This twinning is a characteristic of many young relationships that become marriages. In high school, the football captain and the head cheerleader or prom queen are the classic couple. In colleges where “the Greeks” dominate social life, sorority sisters find their match in fraternity brothers—and back in the days before couples lived together, this often led to marriage after graduation.