Sex in a Tent. Michelle Waitzman. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: Michelle Waitzman
Издательство: Ingram
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Жанр произведения: Юмористические стихи
Год издания: 0
isbn: 9780899975122
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Heather says. “We each have our separate things that we do: John skydives, and I do things like scrap-booking and spending time with my friends. But together, we have this passion for the outdoors that we share.”

      This is true for a lot of couples. At home, two people can lead very separate lives, even under the same roof. But camping can give them the time and inspiration to really enjoy each other’s company. “I’m a writer, he’s into computers,” says Justine “We hate each other’s taste in music, clothes, houses, possessions. But it doesn’t matter if we can come together the way we do when we’re camping. I’m just living each moment, with the man I love, in the most beautiful mountains in the world. That’s very fresh and simple somehow. There’s just a calm that you’re in the right place, sharing it with the right person.”

      Once you have started to camp as a couple, it’s something you can do together for the rest of your lives. It’s inexpensive, the gear lasts for years, and as long as you have transportation, you can enjoy a camping trip at any time. Jessica told me she recently met a couple who are traveling around the US, doing a lot of camping now that their kids have all grown up and moved out. “They are enjoying each other and the country so much,” she says wistfully. “I can’t wait till we can do the same…in a couple of decades.”

      I often come across couples well into their 70s enjoying a hike through the woods or a paddle on their favorite lake. The best thing about it is seeing that romantic sparkle in their eyes. Getting outdoors together keeps them young and passionate well into their golden years. The playwright George Bernard Shaw once said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.” So keep playing outside with your partner, and you’ll stay young forever!

      As you have probably already guessed, this is not your average camping book. You won’t find anything here about navigating with a map and compass, or building an emergency shelter out of branches—unless you’re doing it for sexual role-playing purposes (there’s nothing like a little game of Survivor), in which case, may I suggest tying the supports together with a strong rope so you don’t have a mid-coitus collapse. This book is about making your outdoor experiences more romantic and sexier than you’ve ever imagined.

      Throughout this book, you’ll read stories from couples who will give you a peek at their secrets to wilderness romance. I’ve maintained their anonymity and changed some details and names for obvious reasons—you never know whose mother might be reading—except where they’ve specifically wanted their name in lights. (And with some of their stories, who wouldn’t be proud!)

      Chapter by chapter, we’ll look at how to introduce an absolute beginner to camping, how to plan your camping trips so that you both enjoy them, how to keep yourselves clean and attractive in the wilderness, how to make gourmet meals for two without a kitchen, how to approach different kinds of camping for maximum romance, where to go for the ultimate wilderness getaways, and, of course, how to have sex in a tent and just about anywhere else outdoors.

      In order to keep things simple, this book generally refers to couples as one man and one woman. This by no means suggests that same-sex couples can’t use this book as a guide for planning their own romantic outdoor adventures. All couples will find that their relationship changes when they leave the comforts of home behind, regardless of gender. For the most part, there will be very little difference in terms of the challenges and rewards you will face. In places where same-sex couples may encounter their own unique situations, I’ll address them separately.

      Ideally, both members of a couple should read this book. If you’ll excuse the pun, it will keep you on the same page when it comes to planning your camping adventures. If only one of you reads it, you can share with your partner the ideas you’d like to try. Bring them up over dinner, or on a lazy weekend. Get your partner excited about the idea of camping together, be sure to mention all of the amazing sex you’ll be having, then pick a time to get out there and give it a shot.

      I sincerely believe that even the most urban of us can get into camping just by being open to the experience. But having a supportive and enthusiastic partner makes it so much easier and more enjoyable. So I encourage you to try it out—it’s good for you, it’s good for your relationship, and as you’ll see in this book, it’s good for your sex life, too!

      Chapter 1:

      Convincing Your Reluctant Partner that

      CAMPING IS FUN

      I wasn’t born into camping. We never went as a family because my father firmly believed that if you own a perfectly good bed, you should use it. So, I have to admit that before I started camping, I had some pretty crazy ideas of what it might be like. I thought that you had to find your way around with a map and a compass in the wild, because I didn’t know about trail markers. I thought you had to be able to make a fire in the rain to cook your food, because I’d never seen a camping stove. I thought there would be bugs crawling around inside the tent all night—and I had a huge bug phobia. Suffice to say, the idea that camping might be romantic never entered my mind.

      When you’ve been doing the camping thing for a while, it’s easy to forget that not everybody is familiar with the way things work in the woods. And when you’re worried about staying alive, you tend to put passion on the backburner. If you’re introducing a newcomer to camping, don’t make any assumptions about what that person knows.

      For true city-slickers, it’s like being beamed up to another planet—and it can be downright intimidating. When Hillary met her future husband, she wasn’t a camper. He, however, had been camping with his family since he was little. “The only question they ever had to settle was whether to head for the mountains or the beach,” says Hillary. “But it wasn’t a holiday unless they packed up the tent and crammed the whole family into the car to set up at a campground somewhere.”

      Hillary knew it would mean a lot to him if she tried his favorite pastime, but she was willing to do so on one condition: He had to do all the work. “I just trusted him to take care of everything, and, in fact, he still does,” says Hillary, who is now a camping convert. “Camping is a real vacation for me because he does absolutely everything—cooking, cleaning, and organizing.”

      While at first camping was a big adjustment, Hillary soon figured out the trick for her was to avoid comparing it to the way things are at home. A few bugs weren’t the end of the world, even if she found one in her tea.

      Her willingness to give camping a shot made all the difference in their relationship. “The fact that I had a good time on our first trip may have been the key to our entire relationship from that day forward,” she says. “It’s hard to say. But we go on a trip every three months and we’ve been doing it for years.”

      Hillary and her husband are a good example of how to get a novice to go camping. If you are introducing your partner to camping, be sure to take your partner’s concerns seriously, and deal with them before you go on your first camping trip. If you’re the beginner, make sure you speak up about the things that are worrying you. You can’t expect your partner to predict everything that might make you nervous. Don’t be afraid that your partner will think you’re being stupid or wimpy—you aren’t supposed to know everything the first time out. Remember: If both of you are comfortable with what’s going on, camping together will be fun for each of you, and you might even be able to indulge in some of the romantic stuff.

      Sure, there are fears and difficulties to deal with, but let’s begin by looking at all of the great things about camping together. It’s going to be a whole lot easier to talk your partner into trying it out if you can provide some tempting reasons. (And if you’re the non-camper, listen up!)

      Try this for starters: “Honey, if we go camping, you can have a whole weekend without hearing the phone ring, or de-spamming your email, or checking off chores on your to-do list. It will just be you and me, with no interruptions. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

      What