as possible without changing any material details. Tell the story where your motivation is as positive as possible, and the setbacks are legendary challenges that you engage with heroic zeal.

      Explain the exercise to your partner before you begin, so that you and they know that you will be speaking in unusually heroic terms. This will help alleviate any embarrassment or tendency to downplay your own power. Just for this exercise, it is your job to paint yourself as powerfully as possible.

      As before, your partner will then mirror back to you what they heard in two minutes. They will not make fun of you—they will celebrate and reflect your heroic version of the story.

      As an example, if the original story went…

      “So there I was, trying to get through the morning commute, and I heard this noise. I realized I had a flat tire. It sucked. I had to pull over in traffic, in the rain, and trudge around trying to find the tools in the back. I got all dirty and sweaty trying to change the tire, got to work 30 minutes late, and the first thing my co-workers noticed was how bad I looked.”

      The upgraded story goes…

      “So there I was, battling for position in a sea of steel and anger, when disaster struck. One of the tires lost pressure, and the car was dragged to the side. I knew I had mere moments to avert even greater damage, so I swiftly checked my mirrors, assessed the situation, and found my opening. Guiding the car deftly to the shoulder, I secured the vehicle and leapt into the stormy weather. I acquired the tools I would need, concealed in the trunk, and positioned myself for optimum leverage. The task was Herculean, but the car was lifted and the backup tire installed safely. Once I was back in the driver’s seat, I checked the time and realized I could still make it to the staff meeting. I roared off in my repaired vehicle, and arrived at the office to the concern and wonder of my co-workers as they noted the battle wear on my clothes.”

      Notice how you feel after re-telling the story in heroic fashion. How does that change your feelings about such a story coming up again in the future? How does that change your feelings about who you are?