The Corporal Works of Mommy (and Daddy Too). Lisa Popcak

7. Don’t Fight about Food

      Generosity and self-control are important virtues, but they’re easily squelched by arguments about food. Make a rule that while family members can express preferences for the foods they are served, they may not complain about what they are served. Complaining undermines gratitude and makes mealtime seem like something to be survived. A pleasant, grateful spirit must be the price of admission to the family table. Pouters and complainers may stay in their rooms until they can get themselves in a more generous frame of mind.

      Mealtime is also a great opportunity for parents to grow in virtue as we learn to gracefully manage our children’s eating habits. Encouraging a grateful spirit at the family table doesn’t require parents to turn mealtimes into power struggles. Small tummies mean small portions. Better to give children less and have them ask for more than give them too much and create both tension and waste.

      If your children don’t finish what you feel is an age-appropriate serving, don’t force them to sit until the plate is clean. Simply wrap it up and save it for later when they are hungry again. When your child turns his or her nose up at new foods, don’t force the child to eat it all, but do require that he or she eat at least one mouthful before leaving the table. Don’t let the child off the hook, but be pleasant about it. Gentle, consistent encouragement allows both appetites and palettes grow with time. We offer more dinnertime discipline ideas in our book Parenting with Grace, but the most important takeaway is to not concern yourself so much about making children eat as with facilitating the kind of relationship that will make them more willing to try new things as they mature. Throughout this process moms and dads will be invited to grow in patience and compassion, and their children will be encouraged to grow in gratitude, self-control, and openness.

       8. Share What You Have