The CIA has experimented with behavior modification using electrodes as part of the MK-ULTRA mind-control program.
After a week of enduring electrical shocks to their brains, the prisoners still refused to attack one another. They were summarily executed and their bodies burned.
Brains
See also: Brain Eaters of Ancient Kenya
It was the 1985 film The Return of the Living Dead that initially introduced horror movie fans to the concept of zombies having a particular taste for brains over other parts of the human anatomy. Most people view zombies as largely brainless creatures, ones that are solely driven by a need to devour just about as much human flesh, bone, blood, and organs as is conceivably possible. The intriguing fact, however, is that when it comes to munching down on a brain, or several, there is a distinct method in the seeming madness of the killer zombie. It may sound wholly repugnant to the vast majority of people, but brains—or, at least certain brains, and most definitely healthy, disease-free brains—can offer a great deal of nutrition to the average hunter of heads.
Maghaz, for example, is a firm, favorite dish for the people of Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan. It is a mixture of the brains of sheep, goats, and cows (except in India, where cows are sacred). And to give it a bit of extra flavor, it is topped off with a sprinkling of crushed pistachios and brown gravy. Much loved in Borneo, Malaysia, Java, and Sumatra, Gulai is very much curry-like in its taste, texture and appearance. One of its staple ingredients is the brain of a cow. In the western part of Central Africa, and specifically in the Republic of Cameroon, for centuries it was a much revered tradition for a newly crowned tribal chief to devour the entire brain of a freshly slaughtered adult gorilla. Going way back in time, tens of thousands of years ago, much of what is today Europe was dominated by Neanderthal man. Evidence and fossilized remains suggest that not only were the Neanderthals cannibals, but they were also keen connoisseurs of the brains of their fellow, dead tribes-people.
It is hardly surprising that, today, the vast majority of the population turns its collective nose up at the very thought of eating brains—quite possibly because it provokes latent, subconscious thoughts of cannibalism. Nevertheless, there is a real advantage to eating the occasional brain, now and again. DHA, or docosahexaenoic acid, is a form of omega-3 fatty acid that is vital to the sustainment of human health. And to give you an idea of just how beneficial a brain can be to a person (or even to a zombie), the daily recommended intake of DHA for an average adult male and female is four grams. The typical cow’s brain provides a full twenty percent of that figure.
It should be stressed, however, that as well as the advantages to eating brains, there are distinct disadvantages, too. Brains are, for example, very high in cholesterol, which is typically not good for people. For those who are already dead, but reanimated, however, worries about cholesterol levels matter very little in the larger scheme of things. The biggest concern when it comes to dining—and dining regularly—on brains is the very real, and deeply serious risk of developing variant Creutzfeldt-Jacob disease (vCJD), which is the currently incurable, human equivalent of bovine spongiform encephalopathy, which is far better known as Mad Cow Disease.
All in all, then, while eating the occasional brain might not be the worst thing you could do in life, and which could actually prove to be welcomingly nutritious, it’s perhaps best to err on the side of caution. That means leaving the brain-eating to those that do it best: the risen dead.
Brides
According to legend, the Devil himself taught the great Voodoo Master Dr. John over one hundred rituals that could immediately transform a living or dead person into a zombie. Dr. John took immediate advantage of this newly acquired mastery to seize lovely young women and turn them into the living dead.
Zombie brides were the most sought-after creatures throughout the South after the American Civil War. Creole zombie brides were considered the most beautiful; and after men saw Little Sister Sally on Dr. John’s arm, every rich man in the city wanted to have a zombie bride of his own to show off at the next major social event.
Would the perfect bride be a zombie who would submit to your every command? After the American Civil War, such zombie brides were reportedly quite popular in the South.
Of all the women who gained Dr. John’s special attention, his favorite may have been a very young Voodoo Queen of great beauty. He called her Little Sister Sally just because he liked that name, and the way it rolled off his tongue. Sally, whose real name was Alice Slowe Jefferson, was the youngest Voodoo Queen ordained, and she was personally taught by Dr. John, who also zombified her alive.
Though he was advanced in age and she was a mere girl of twelve when he took her into his fold, some believe that it was Little Sister Sally who took possession of Dr. John’s dark book of all the hundred-plus spells on how to zombify someone. Even today, members of the Secret Society of Dr. John believe that Sister Sally is the only complete Zombie Queen who ever existed. Through some dark, mysterious spell that Dr. John perfected in St. Louis Cemetery Number One, the exotic Creole beauty, the daughter of a rich plantation owner, remains alone as the world’s most perfect youthful living Zombie Queen. Zombified on her seventeenth birthday, Little Sister Sally has never had to fear the passage of time.
Bullets
It was a very odd story that got the zombie faithful in states of foaming at the mouth excitement when it first appeared. In 2012, and to the amazement and puzzlement of many, it was revealed that none other than the United States’ Social Security Administration (SSA) had secretly, and then recently, purchased almost a quarter of a million rounds of ammunition. Was the SSA fearful of being overwhelmed by hordes of angry grannies, all demanding increases to their benefit payments? No, it was possibly much worse than such a scenario could ever be.
When the story broke, the SSA was quick to play the whole thing down as a matter of little consequence at all. Some conspiracy-minded figures suggested the agency was perhaps just a bit too quick to lay matters to rest. It may come as a surprise to the majority of people to learn that the SSA actually has its very own, independent police force. So the SSA assured everyone that the bullets were simply bought for target-practice, as a means to train its personnel on all the latest tactics and trends in the world of law enforcement. Uh-huh. Of course, what else? Well, maybe, quite a lot else.
Not everyone, unsurprisingly, was buying into the SSA’s version of events. In fact, it’s correct to say that hardly anyone bought into it. Certainly, the news provoked understandable suggestions that the SSA—possibly alongside many other agencies of the U.S. government—was preparing for a near-future period of nationwide civil uprising, possibly from the effects of a collapse of the entire U.S. economy, or maybe, as a result of an outbreak of a nationwide zombie infestation.
In those online domains where the conspiratorial and the paranoid like to hang out, even bleaker rumors were quickly taking shape. One of the most controversial theories presented suggested that, to avoid complete economic collapse, plans were afoot to secretly, and drastically, lower the population level of the United States. This, we were told, would be achieved by switching on a dormant virus that was deliberately been inserted into