“I am willing to try anything at this point.”
Two days later, I sat by the phone with Michael’s phone number in hand. My heart was beating rapidly as I dialed. The phone rang several times before a warm comforting voice answered. It was Michael.
“My name is Wendy and I’m a friend of Tanya’s. I’ve been experiencing some complications from diabetes, and Tanya thought you might be able to help.” I rambled on, unable to disguise the despair that I was feeling over my predicament.
“Wendy, I would like to get together with you. How about Wednesday at ten a.m.?”
“That would be great,” I said with relief. “How do you work with people, Michael?”
“I’ll give you a massage on Wednesday and then we can talk about some things.” I wondered how Michael could help me. What did massage have to do with healing? It was something I had never experienced, nor was I sure what it entailed. Instead of asking Michael about it, I chose to remain naive.
Wednesday morning finally arrived. The sun shone through the window as I sat on the soft velvet rocking chair in my living room, waiting. When I saw an orange Volkswagen van drive up, somehow I knew it was Michael. An array of thoughts began to fill my mind. I felt that I could trust Michael, but I did not understand why. He was almost a stranger, or was he more than that?
I watched Michael walk to the door. He was wearing a tweed jacket, a white shirt and jeans. His brown hair framed a beautiful face with strong cheekbones and a smile that brightened my day. I opened the door, nervous and excited at the same time.
“Hi, Wendy. How are you doing?” Michael asked.
“I’ve been better.” A strange feeling came over me as I gazed at Michael. “You look familiar.”
“You’ve seen me at the racquet club.” This was the same man that I had seen months previously and the same eyes in which I had seen something special and familiar.
“Would you like some tea, Michael?”
“Sounds great.”
I made peppermint tea and started to tell Michael about my health. Michael listened patiently and responded to my plea for help by offering me a much-needed hug. There was genuine love and comfort in his arms, a love that came from spiritual values and genuine concern. A peaceful feeling began to flow into my body.
“Thanks, I needed that.” It amazed me that a simple embrace could remedy so much fear.
“The environment here must be good. The plants look healthy and there is plenty of light,” commented Michael as he looked around the dining room.
I wondered what he meant by this, but then, as if answering my own question, I remembered something that I had heard. Plants sometimes looked unhealthy in an environment where angry or negative people live. Many believe that people’s vibrations have an effect on plants.
We went downstairs to have our tea in the family room. Michael brought his massage table and I carried two mugs and a pot full of peppermint tea. We sat on the sofa and I carefully poured the hot beverage. “I really want to be well, Michael. I just don’t know where to begin.”
“Why do you think this is happening to you?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Let me ask that question in another way. If you thought you knew the reason, what might it be?”
“There are many possibilities,” I responded. “I’ve been reading ‘The Science of Mind’ by Ernest Holmes. It is one of my favorite books.”
“That is one of my favorites too. It accurately describes how our thoughts create our reality.”
“I too believe my thoughts create my reality, but why would I create this?”
“You tell me,” said Michael.
“My childhood was certainly stressful and traumatic. Perhaps these things had an effect upon me physically. I lived most of my childhood in fear, but this was so long ago. How could it possibly connect with the present?”
“This may be more important than you think,” said Michael. He was listening to my every word. As if what I said was helping him to solve a puzzle. I found it difficult to talk about myself, yet something about Michael allowed me to share things that I had not told anyone. I felt like I had always known him.
Michael gently placed his hand on my back. I felt my muscles tighten in response. Why was I creating the tension in my body? His touch was comforting and I did not want him to take his hand away.
“I know my parents love me greatly, but I feel so overprotected.” I wiped a tear from my face, trying to hide my emotions. “My mom is very afraid for me and this doesn’t help me either, although I know it’s her way of caring.”
Michael told me about his friend Imtiaz who had cancer. “Imtiaz spent much time looking at his past to understand why he had allowed cancer into his life,” said Michael. “This was an important part of his healing.”
“When I look at the past, I see how much I’ve tried to be what other people wanted me to be,” I said.
“I understand that one. I used to live that way too, and I never knew who I was. As I listen to you, I feel like I am looking into a mirror.” The word mirror echoed through my mind with a resonance that called to me. Michael’s voice brought forth a mysterious feeling that was beyond description.
“What can I do to heal myself? I’ve been drinking wheat grass and eating only raw vegetarian food. Do you have any more ideas?”
“I’ve been thinking about things that might help. Wheat grass is certainly one of them. Massage will be helpful too. Do you have a bathing suit or some shorts to wear while I work on you?”
I felt resistance to the idea of taking off any clothes, even if it was for a professional massage. I went into my room and put on my black one-piece bathing suit and a green pair of shorts. I walked back into the family room and flopped myself onto the massage table.
“I can tell you’ve never had a massage,” Michael said with a teasing grin. I innocently wondered what he meant by this. I was unaware that massage was usually done disrobed. Michael asked me what I wanted to do today. I was not sure what he meant by this either.
“How about relaxation or changing a few energy patterns?” I inquired. I did not know what changing a few energy patterns even entailed, but those were the words that came out of my mouth. There was a knowledge inside me that I was only beginning to discover.
“You said relaxation first, so let’s do that.” Questions filled my mind about whether it was safe to allow Michael to touch my body. I was afraid that he might try something sexual.
As Michael began to massage my feet, a little voice in my mind echoed that what I wanted to do was heal my body. The massage was wonderful, and the loving contact with another human being allowed me to drift away. My body began to shake and I felt vibrations of energy moving through me. “I feel like I have shivers running up my spine. I don’t understand what is happening.”
“Do you think shivers is the right word to describe this experience?” asked Michael.
“No,” I said, feeling bad that I had described it that way. The energy coming alive in my body was incredible. It was different than sexual energy. My body continued to vibrate with energy even after the massage was finished.
“I’d like to work with you every week,” said Michael. “I can see that you don’t feel worthy. Remember that you are worthy and you really do have control over your life.” Michael was observant. My self-worth and self-esteem