HARDY
Draw your own conclusions.
CASH
Connor was sleeping with another woman.
HARDY
So what?
CASH
So what?
HARDY
He was redefining himself in the context of his redundancy.
CASH
What?
HARDY
It’s what men do. In the context of their redundancy, they redefine themselves.
CASH
Not all men.
HARDY
Blame capitalism.
CASH
Worse than that, he lied and he kept on lying. I can live with a cheater, but I can’t live with a liar.
HARDY
The problem with marriage, you see—the problem with marriage—
CASH
Actually, what am I saying? I can’t live with a liar or a cheater.
HARDY
You can’t live with the simple truth is what you can’t live with. Men are men. And women are not.
CASH
Gosh, that is simple.
HARDY
I slept with other women.
CASH
You did not.
HARDY
How do you know?
CASH
You’re my father and you did not sleep with other women. And if you did sleep with other women, you can leave this house and never speak to me again. You never slept with other women.
HARDY
It’s my house by the way. Small point.
CASH
Fine, then I’ll leave.
HARDY
You know that’s not going to happen.
CASH
No?
HARDY
You’ve got a good thing going here.
CASH
Oh, right. I forgot. I’ve got a good thing going here. I live in a mill town with no mill, work in a museum that nobody visits, and my husband left me for a woman half my height.
HARDY
Half your age is what I think you mean to say.
CASH
While Mom was still alive?
HARDY
Eh?
CASH
I do not try to control people.
HARDY
Lithium. That’s mind control. Every child is a normal child; it’s the parents that fuck ’em up.
CASH
That word.
HARDY
I’m trying to expand the boy’s horizons. The kid doesn’t even know how to play with himself.
CASH
If you can’t look after him, properly, I’ll just have to make other plans.
HARDY
What other plans?
CASH
Other plans.
HARDY
I’ll look after him. Don’t you worry.
CASH
What are you doing with those magazines anyway? I don’t want to know. Aren’t you a bit old? Is that a peach?
HARDY
This?
CASH
I’m warning you, Dad. The police have been here twice already.
HARDY
Have they nothing better to do?
CASH
You’ve been warned. It’s private property.
HARDY
That is an abandoned orchard.
CASH
That belongs to someone else.
HARDY
Peaches, rotting. Is that what we have police for? To protect abandoned fruit? Corporate thugs, that’s what they are.
MILTON
Your grandfather was a troublemaker, wasn’t he? A real shit-disturber?
LOWELL
My grandfather had principles and I guess some other people just don’t.
CASH
Dad, I’m not going to have this argument again. Stay away from those peaches, or you’ll find yourself in jail.
HARDY
Good.
CASH
I don’t have the money to bail you out.
HARDY
Good.
CASH
Fine.
LOWELL
Mom made my grandfather swear on his own grave not to go over that fence again.
CASH
And that goes for you too.
LOWELL
I didn’t even know I had a grave.
LOWELL deals out some cards; we are in the downtown rooms of ROXY, HARDY’s sometime-girlfriend.
HARDY
Not a grave, specifically, but you’ve got a death awaiting you. The date is already set. When you pick them up, don’t look at them right away. You want to seem confident and, at the same time, see if your opponent reacts to his hand in any telling way; if his pupils dilate, he’s got at least a pair of queens. The next move is yours. The thing about cards is you get what you’re dealt, but how you deal with them defines your character.
ROXY, a hard woman about forty-five years old, appears with drinks.
ROXY
Tequila can be a hallucinogen, if used correctly.
HARDY
We all know that. (to LOWELL) I’d fold if I were you.
LOWELL
Why?
HARDY
You can’t beat me.
LOWELL
What makes you so sure?
ROXY
I don’t go in for this salt/lime thing. Just a waste of my time.
HARDY
What are you doing?
LOWELL
Folding?
HARDY
Why?