“I am afraid that I will not be joining you in your cabin for awhile, Leonard. I have not seen the sea since we left England and wish to take in its beauty. The breeze feels wonderful against my skin and I feel free. I’m sorry, but not even you can persuade me to go below again until I am ready.” Lord Hammil gazed at Miranda firmly and tried to convince her to come with him to his cabin, and even seized her arm to force her, but she stood her ground.
“You had your chance to partake in the offering of my lips moments ago. You declined, because you are so worried about propriety and what people will think. Well, I could care less.” Miranda was about to move away from Lord Hammil but his grip tightened upon her arm. The action stopped her retreat and her eyes flew instantly to his as she felt his fingers dig into her skin painfully.
“Watch your tongue, Miranda. I will not tolerate such disobedience. I have not seen you in a week’s time and would hope that you have missed the sight of me and would like to spend more personal time with me.” His eyes searched hers for any signs of change in her feelings for him.
“Of course I have missed the sight of you. I care for you, Leonard, but I will not live my life ashamed to show my future husband affection. It would be nice if you could show me more passion with your kisses, more feeling like your words often depict.” Lord Hammil gazed around the deck and noticed several pairs of eyes focusing upon them as they listened to their conversation. Miranda didn’t realize she had raised her voice until she saw the disgruntled look upon Lord Hammil’s countenance. In a low voice Lord Hammil said, “I am not a passionate man, Miranda, but you will get used to my touch and kisses, and learn to love them. I will make you happy.”
Miranda, her chest heaving slightly from her anger, could not help but to correct the man of his assumptions. “I am a passionate woman, Leonard, and have always been. I don’t want to get used to something that doesn’t satisfy my needs. I want to feel cherished and adored, as if I were the air you needed to breathe. I don’t want to be put on a pedestal for show as if I were some insignificant object that people should envy. I am not perfect,” shouted Miranda. “Your rules are driving me mad. I could never live up to your expectations for they are too high. I am afraid to make a mistake around you. I just want to be loved, Leonard, and loved ardently. Can you do that because, if so, my heart will be yours.”
“My, you’ve had much to think about, haven’t you?”
“Well, leave a woman with her thoughts for a week and this is what you get,” replied Miranda sharply. Lord Hammil didn’t realize the pressure he had put upon Miranda and felt contrite for doing so. His countenance changed to one of compassion but Miranda’s next words made him angry. “If you cannot give me the affection I need, then maybe you should find another bride while at Port Royal who will be able to satisfy your needs better, because I desire more than just some unsatisfactory emotion.” The insult was more than he could bear and he slapped Miranda across the cheek for her impertinence. The blow surprised her and brought tears to her eyes. Her hand immediately moved to her cheek, realizing she never should have spoken her true feelings, but knew that her words had to be said.
Locand saw what happened and was about to move forward but decided against it, wondering how it would have looked to his crew if he were to protect the girl from her betrothed. He then looked to his right where Davy had been and noticed that he was already moving toward Miranda to protect her. By the time he had reached her side she was backing up slowly away from Lord Hammil, her eyes throwing imaginary daggers at him.
“I am sorry that I had to do that Miranda, but it is for your own good. I understand what you are saying, and I will try harder to please you but you, in return, will try harder to please me, for I am very disappointed.” Tears streamed from Miranda’s eyes as she cursed herself silently for accepting Lord Hammil’s marriage proposal. Every day caused her to regret her decision more and more. “Davy, take her out of my sight, the sea clouds her judgment. Another week locked into your cabin Miranda, will be enough time for you to think about the words you have spoken to me. I have already apologized to you, by the end of the week I will expect your apology and your show of renewed adoration. Upon your behavior I will allow you to walk upon the deck as you wish, but I will be the only one to escort you.” He then waved his hand for Davy to remove her from his sight, and he turned around to face the dark blue sea.
Miranda was so full of anger that she lunged forward wanting to strike at Lord Hammil, but before she could, Davy caught her by the waist, turned her quickly around rushing her from the deck to the stairs before anyone noticed what she was about to do. Locand, however, heard every word she said and saw what she was about to do. A smile rose upon his lips as he thought of the beautiful girl that brought so much pain to herself. His smile immediately vanished, however, when Lord Hammil moved to his side to speak of Miranda’s punishment.
As soon as Miranda stepped down the corridor she started to run to Locand’s cabin. As she opened the door, she ran inside and fell upon the bed, tears falling full force from her eyes. When Davy reached the cabin, he walked in and closed the door, shaking his head as he moved to the bed and sat upon it.
“You bring your own pain, Miry. How could you insult him like that? Your words were tolerable until then. We are going to be spending many weeks in the same company with these men. You can’t behave this way and expect them to accept your disobedience. You will end up getting thrown into a cell or lashed, Miry. I could not bear to see that happen.” Davy reached out and caressed Miranda’s hair, but she raised her head and glared at him for his efforts.
“Why didn’t you stop him, Davy? Why did you let him hurt me?” Miranda broke into heavy sobs, then started hiccupping from lack of air. Gone was the firm look upon Davy’s features as he reached out and scooped Miranda into his arms, her head resting on his shoulder.
“If I knew you were going to be so rebellious, I would have stood by your side. I never would have thought you were going to act this way. You know better.”
“And with Captain Riveri, did you have no pull when talking with him? You could have—”
“No, Miry, you slapped and disrespected the captain of this vessel. No man of this crew would do such a thing. He could not allow you to get away with that unpunished. You deserved his punishment. Captain Riveri forbade me to see you. He said that you would expect me to save you from him, which of course you do. He will not bring you harm, Miry, but it is you who brings yourself pain. Lord Hammil felt embarrassed from your words and it would have shown him to be weak if he didn’t handle the situation well. You provoked his reaction.” Miranda raised her tear stained face toward Davy.
“So, am I the only one who is to blame?” Davy caressed her cheeks as he said, “No, but you forget that this is not your father’s ship. This crew is not his and they could care less for your well being. You must behave properly until it is time for you not to, but only I will let you know when that time is. Be smart, Miranda, you were never a fool. Whatever Lord Hammil said to provoke your words, forget them. He is the way he is, and we need him to get to your father, remember that. Follow his rules, and the captain’s, and you will be happier in the future.” Davy then held her head to his chest as he kissed it and comforted her. He could hear Miranda sighing against him as her sobs quieted.
Miranda knew that her behavior wasn’t going to be tolerated much longer. She had to change, at least for now. She resolved herself for another week below deck, and actually, the thought didn’t bother her. She was going to be happy to be alone for another week with no one to bother her or make demands. She would need that time to adjust her way of thinking, and the solace to collect her sanity. For one more week she would be able to act normally, without peoples’ false expectations of her. The thought brought a smile to her lips as she hugged Davy closer to her.
CHAPTER 5
By the middle of the following week, Miranda was practicing with her sword. She had made a target from a sack she had asked