Our stomachs get tight, our hearts start to race,
We can’t fall asleep or feel safe any place.
When fear doesn’t leave and decides it will stay,
It acts like a bully, scaring good things away.
We call this “anxiety”—it fills up our heads.
It spins thoughts around, causing worry and dread.
For me, I feel helpless—alone in my fear.
“I’m sure something’s wrong!” is the whisper I hear.
The things that I want to do, now I just can’t.
The fears are a giant—and I’m like an ant!
But WAIT! I’m still me, even though I feel small.
I’m strong and I’m brave—and I’m anxious, that’s all.
There are things I can think and things I can say—
I’ll find what I CAN do—and do it today.
The first thing I’ll do is to name what I feel.
Then I’ll look past the “what ifs” and see what is real.
I will start to talk back to the bully inside,
I’ll breathe deep and remember I’ve no need to hide.
If you notice I’m anxious, please choose to come near.
If I seem kind of frozen, just know it’s the fear.
This battle is real, but my weapons are strong.
Be kind, stand close by, and help me belong.
ABOUT THE GUIDE
The following pages are written for parents, grandparents and teachers. We hope they will place prompts and tools into your hands as you walk through Am I Safe? with the children in your care. It is meant to help you be a voice of comfort, perspective and hope.
Part 1: Unpacking Fear
Fear is a common experience of life that we all share. The aim of this section is to help children learn to be less afraid of fear and other uncomfortable emotions. Children who can acknowledge, identify and express the emotions they encounter are more likely to be able to manage those emotions rather than to be overwhelmed by them.
The story begins with the words “Am I safe? Am I okay? Something’s very wrong today!” Look at the faces of the children and the faces of the adults (page 5). What are some words that might describe how each of them are feeling?
This book talks about fear—fears about things that ARE happening and fears about things that MIGHT happen in our lives and the world around us. It reminds us that fear is simply one of the many emotions we have been given, and feeling fearful is something that everyone experiences at some point or another.
Sometimes it feels like my “fear list” is long
With so many things in the world going wrong.
But fears are something everyone has—
Our teachers, our friends, our moms, and our dads.
“Mean World Syndrome” is a fairly recent phenomenon affecting our society. The violent content of mass media (television, newspapers, print media, radio and the internet) convinces viewers that the world is more dangerous than it actually is. The viewer feels a desire for more protection than is warranted by the threat. Feelings of fear become predictors of danger instead of just feelings, keeping the individual on high alert at all times. Living with these beliefs is exhausting and spills into the lives of those around us!
The children in the first illustration (page 5) aren’t watching the T.V.; they’re watching the faces of their parents. Adults must be aware that their responses to fearful events in our world are deeply impactful to the children in their care. The following may provide some guidance as we manage our own fear:
• Tend to your own emotions in fearful times, finding your own safe places and safe people with whom to process them.
• Use wise discretion regarding what is age-appropriate and caution around oversharing with children.
• Guard against media saturation in your home.
• Remind children of all the ways they (and you) are safe.
• Validate children’s feelings and share your own in gentle ways.
• Be your child’s and family’s safe place and calming voice.
• In times of hardship and tragedy focus early and often on the helpers and their courageous response.
According to the dictionary, fear is the unpleasant feeling you have when you think that you’re in danger.
Sometimes we think we’re in danger and we’re right!
Fear can warn us that a situation is unsafe and that something needs to be done, like stepping away from the edge of a slippery cliff, moving away from an angry dog or talking to a safe adult when we’re being harmed by someone else.
When fear warns us of danger, it acts as a protector. This is what fear is meant to do. But it’s not your only protector.
As a young person, you need to know that there are adults around you who take the job of keeping you safe very seriously. Some of these adults know you and some of them don’t, but caring adults do all they can to keep you safe. This doesn’t mean that they never feel afraid or that you won’t still feel afraid at times, but it does mean that when fearful things come, you do not need to battle them alone.
• Name one or two caring adults in your life who know you