That one disciple is singled out in this context as the disciple loved by Jesus is striking. Jesus loved all the disciples in the most intimate friendship and in sacrificial solidarity. The singling out of one who is loved by Jesus makes clear that some kind of love is at stake other than the love that unites Jesus to the rest of his disciples. The text itself suggests that we should recognize here some form of love that certainly does not contradict the more general love of Jesus for all, but which does set it apart from this general love. A reasonable conclusion is that this difference points us to a different sphere or dimension of love: love characterized by erotic desire or sexual attraction.
This impression is immediately strengthened when we consider how the narrative describes this love: “one of the disciples of Jesus—the one Jesus loved—was reclining in Jesus’ lap. . . . Falling back thus upon the chest of Jesus, he said to him . . .”
In antiquity, the normal posture for dining together among friends was that of reclining on mats or pillows. Thus all the disciples—we are not to think here of just the twelve but of a larger group, perhaps including women4—are lying about in this way. But one of them is lying in (on) Jesus’ lap—that is, snuggled up to Jesus. The disciple leans forward to hear Peter’s question and then falls back (onto the chest of Jesus) to relay the question.
The text thus depicts the relationship of love in terms of physical closeness and bodily intimacy. This feature is expressed twice here (lap, chest) and is reiterated in the final scene of the Gospel when the beloved is pointed out as the one who had lain on Jesus’ chest (21:20). The Gospel draws particular attention to this gesture of affectionate intimacy as the dramatic representation of what it means to say that this disciple was in some special way “loved by Jesus.”
Jesus’ love for all his disciples is a love to the end, an intimate friendship, yet at the same time Jesus has a different love for one of them. The mark of that difference is the posture of bodily intimacy. This physical intimacy differentiates Jesus’ love for this disciple from the intimacy of friendship expressed in Jesus’ discourse on love and even from the physical intimacy expressed toward all the disciples in the foot washing. The text marks one of the disciples as “more than a friend,” though he is a friend as well. He is the beloved, one for whom the appropriate expression of love is that of physical closeness and bodily intimacy.
The narrative also suggests that this relationship is one that Peter accepts and acknowledges. Thus Peter assumes that the beloved would be privy to Jesus’ intimate thoughts in a way that neither he nor the others would. Peter signals the beloved with a nod. The beloved leans forward out of his nest to hear Peter’s question and then falls back on Jesus’ chest to ask him in more privacy, “Who is it?”
Instead of responding directly, Jesus instructs him to watch who receives the piece of bread that Jesus dunks in the gravy. The scene appears as a small moment of intimate conspiracy and shared confidence. Hardly any other interpretation makes sense of the narrative as it stands.5
Consider: Peter assumes the beloved would know, if anyone did, the identity of the betrayer. Why should Peter assume this? Because Jesus is intimate with this disciple in a way different from his intimacy with the others, an intimacy depicted as that of bodily intimacy. Peter draws the understandable conclusion that this bodily intimacy entails a superior understanding of Jesus’ meaning; but he is mistaken. That is, the physical intimacy of the beloved does not entail special knowledge. The beloved doesn’t know so he falls back to ask.
Now Jesus could simply answer the question, but this is something he does not often do in the Gospels. Instead Jesus plays a kind of game with the beloved.
But this game by no means gives esoteric knowledge to the beloved. He knows a short time before anyone else the identity of the betrayer.6 This foreknowledge scarcely constitutes a theological “big deal.” Indeed the only importance which the narrator attributes to the identity of the betrayer is that he is “one of the twelve,” something already announced at 6:70. The interaction between Jesus and the man he loves simply underscores the intimacy of Jesus’ relation to the beloved. Jesus tells him a kind of secret, but one that is unimportant. The secret is simply an expression of intimate affection, precisely the sort of thing that Jesus could share with his beloved without compromising the basic unity of this band of comrades.
Jesus discloses important concepts in the discourses that follow: the meaning of love, the destiny of Jesus and the followers, the role of the Paraclete, and so on. These topics are certainly weighty, but none of these are directed to the beloved. In these matters, he remains on exactly the same footing as the others. Jesus does not play favorites when it comes to theologically important matters.
The introduction of the beloved makes clear that Jesus’ love for him is different from the intimate friendship that characterizes his relationship to all other members of this band. This love for the beloved is expressed in physical intimacy among friends. The least forced reading of the text is that in addition to loving his disciples, Jesus also had a beloved for whom he was the lover.
Acknowledgment
The beloved is not singled out again until Jesus’ death on the cross. He is not identified as one who participates in the dialogue with Jesus concerning where Jesus is going (13:36ff), nor is he singled out from among the other disciples when Jesus discourses on the nature of love and unity with him, nor is he singled out at the scene of Jesus’ betrayal in the Garden, nor does he seem to be identified as one of the disciples who witness Jesus’ trial before the Sanhedrin (18:15ff).7 When our attention is next drawn to him, Jesus is already on the cross.
The passages where we are reminded of the presence of the beloved are as significant as are the passages where we are not. He has no special role in terms of the handing on of Jesus’ teachings; he is exactly on a par with all the others. His “specialness” lies elsewhere. Nor is he ever the only witness to any of the important events of this fateful twenty-four hours of Jesus’ passion.
Even here at the cross he is not the only witness. He is present with a number of women.
Four of Jesus’ followers witness his execution: His mother, his aunt, Mary Magdalene, and the beloved (19:25). Jesus’ aunt is not mentioned before or after. His mother has been associated with him before (2:1–5). Mary Magdalene has not been mentioned earlier but will appear subsequently (20:1–18).
John’s narrative of the cross is quite different from what we find in the other Gospels. Here we have three sayings of Jesus that are not found in the other Gospels. Two of these are quite brief. One, “I thirst,” is treated as a fulfillment of Scripture. The last (“it is accomplished”) serves to designate the end of Jesus’ mission as well as the achieving of that mission’s goal.
But before we come to these sayings so weighted with theological significance for the author and reader of this text, we find something quite remarkable. Jesus is said to notice the presence of the beloved and of his own mother. He addresses them each by directing them to one another: “Woman, behold your son,” and to the beloved: “Behold your mother.”
At a subsequent point, we will have opportunity to develop at greater length the question of the relation between Jesus and his mother in this text.8 Here it should be noted that she is identified by the narrator as Jesus’ “mother” but is addressed by Jesus only as “woman.” This shift in terminology also agrees with what occurs in the earlier story of the wedding in Cana (2:4). Jesus uses for Mary exactly the same form of address that he uses for other women that he encounters: the Samaritan woman (4:21), the woman taken in adultery (8:10), and Mary of Magdala (20:15). That is, Jesus is not at all given to a kind of “Mothers’ Day” sentimentality in the Gospel of John or, still less, in the other Gospels.9
But what is the true meaning of this scene at the cross? Some imagine that Jesus deflects attention from himself here in order to tell his followers that they are to care for