When they walked into the living room, Grandma Eunice grinned at Dandy. “Hello, Alfred,” she said.
Dandy looked back to make sure she wasn’t talking to someone behind him. Then, he politely said, “My name is Daniel.”
“That’s nice,” Grandma Eunice said, looking back at the TV.
The boys hurried past her and through the kitchen. Malcolm grabbed a box of cheese crackers. Seeing ketchup stains on Dandy’s shirt reminded him that he’d skipped lunch.
Before they reached the basement door, Malcolm heard music blaring so loud the walls rattled below. His stomach did a somersault.
He and Dandy rushed down the steps to an unforgivable sight. There was Cocoa, bopping to the music, snapping her fingers and mouthing the words. Her neon lip gloss had peeled into crusty clumps, looking a lot like the algae in Malcolm’s fish tank.
Malcolm was thankful that Cocoa wasn’t really singing. Her yowling was ten times worse than her dancing. He reached back and unplugged the CD player.
“Hey, nerd!” Cocoa hollered. “I need to practice for the lip-synch contest next week. This is important.”
“You can practice,” Malcolm said. “But not here. Out!”
“You don’t own this basement!” she said. She planted her hands so firmly on her hips, her knuckles turned white.
“This is my lab. Get out!”
Dandy sat on the bottom step, picking his nose. “What did you want to show me?”
“Not yet,” Malcolm said, staring his sister down.
“I’m not leaving,” Cocoa said.
“Are too.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
Dandy walked over and took the box of cheese crackers from Malcolm’s hand. He removed his finger from his nose, popped open the lid, and dug in.
“Ewww, your friend is gross!” Cocoa cried.
“At least his boogers end up in his mouth and not all over his lips like yours,” Malcolm said.
Cocoa smacked her lips together, causing the lip gloss to curl even more. “By the way, where’s my blow-dryer?”
Dandy slowly backed away, looking at the floor. Cocoa gave him a suspicious look. “Where is it?”
“Why don’t you go upstairs and look for it?” Malcolm suggested.
“I’m not leaving,” she said, turning around and plugging the music back in.
“Fine,” Malcolm said.
He headed over to his chemistry set. Dandy followed.
Malcolm took the Bubble Wrap from the specter detector and placed it on the floor behind the counter.
“What are you doing?” Dandy asked, spraying cracker crumbs.
“Getting rid of my sister.” Malcolm took a clear beaker and filled it with vinegar. Then he poured in an entire bottle of blue food coloring. After that he grabbed a handful of white powder.
Dandy took a step back and held his nose.
“Don’t worry,” Malcolm said. “It’s not another stink bomb. It’s baking soda. When I say now, you jump.”
Malcolm put the beaker on the counter and waited until Cocoa was totally engrossed in her performance. Then, he tossed the baking soda into the beaker. Blue foam boiled up.
“Ahhhhhhhh!” Malcolm screamed, slapping both hands to his face.
Cocoa clicked off the CD player in a panic. “What is it?”
Malcolm’s eyes grew wide with fake fear. “Ahhhhh! I put in the wrong chemical,” Malcolm shouted. “The whole basement is going to blow. Run! Now!”
Dandy turned to run, but Malcolm grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. “Now!”
The two boys jumped high, and came down right in the middle of the Bubble Wrap. It exploded in one earsplitting bang.
Cocoa screamed and flew up the stairs, barely touching a single step. Malcolm and Dandy burst into wild laughter as Malcolm ran up and locked the basement door.
Cocoa jiggled the knob, shouting, “I won’t forget this, dweeb!”
Then Malcolm turned to Dandy. “Now I can show you the greatest gadget in the world.”
“Be very careful,” Malcolm said. He reached in the box and removed the specter detector with the care of a surgeon.
Dandy’s eyes grew wide. “You’re not going to point that thing at me, are you?”
“Why would I point it at you?” Malcolm said. “You’re alive.”
“Yeah, and I’d like to stay that way!”
“Dandy, do you have any idea what this is?” Malcolm’s chest swelled with pride.
Dandy grinned. “Did you make something out of Cocoa’s blow-dryer?”
“No. It’s not a blow-dryer. It’s my Ecto-Handheld-Automatic-Heat-Sensitive-Laser-Enhanced Specter Detector. It’s for hunting ghosts!”
“Cool!” Dandy said. “Does it work?”
Malcolm shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t tried it out yet.”
“Turn it on,” Dandy said, reaching for the switch.
“Wait!” Malcolm hugged the specter detector close to keep Dandy’s hands off. “I think this time we should read the instructions.”
Dandy nodded. “Good idea.”
Malcolm grabbed a small piece of paper out of the box. In bold letters across the top were the words, WARNING: For Serious Ghost Hunters Only!
No one was more serious about this than Malcolm. He kept reading.
“What does that mean?” Dandy asked.
Malcolm shrugged. “It just means you have to be a serious ghost hunter.”
Dandy rubbed his nose. “Then why don’t they just say so?”
“If there’s a ghost around, it’ll let you know,” Malcolm translated.
“It has to warm up,” Malcolm said.
Dandy looked at Malcolm like a kid lost in a department store. “Huh?”
“It’ll make a noise,” Malcolm said.
“We’re not professionals,” Dandy said.