Little did I know back when he suggested it that my dear Kevin would never get to read the book he so passionately encouraged me to write. However, he has been with me in spirit throughout the writing of the manuscript, and I know that he will be looking down from heaven with that wonderful smile he so often had on his face, pleased that I took his advice.
The third reason I decided to put my thoughts in print is because since my youth I have desired and tried to be a blessing in some little way to everyone who comes across my pathway. I want this book to be a blessing—in some little way—to everyone who reads it.
My desire for you—as you read the book and as you live out your life—is beautifully and poignantly expressed by the apostle Paul in his letter to his fellow believers at Rome: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13, emphasis added).
May your life and mine be not just filled “with all joy and peace” but overflowing with that joy, peace and hope! Overflowing to bless others! Amen!
INTRODUCTION
I have divided the book into two parts. In part 1, Traumas Revealed, I share some of the major traumas I have experienced in my life. This is not for the purpose of trying to gain pity but rather as a lead-in to part 2, Traumas Relieved, with the hope that my experience of triumphing over the multiple traumas of my life will bring hope and inspiration to others. In this part of the book I reveal how I accomplished this through three principles and seven pillars and thus became a better person rather than a bitter person.
It is true that the apostle Paul tells us that God’s grace is sufficient for any situation in life and that God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), but it is also true that God expects us—as His children—to live wisely and to be willing to do our part when dealing with the traumas that come storming completely unexpectedly into our lives. Just as sailors setting out to sea have a plan for dealing with a potential (and likely) storm, so we need to have a plan in place for when we are going to be in the midst of a storm in our life. In the book I describe the plan that (with God’s help and wisdom) has enabled me to get through the storms of my life triumphantly. Yes, God has promised us that His “grace is sufficient” (2 Corinthians 12:9) and that He will give us His wisdom (James 1:5), but that doesn’t mean that God is going to work out every problem for us without any effort on our part. As the old adage puts it, “God helps those who help themselves.” It also doesn’t mean that our Lord Jesus is always going to still the storm (Matthew 8:23–26), but it does mean that He will be with us in the midst of the storm (Acts 27:23–24). How often in my life I have prayed that God would still the storm—such as healing my beloved wife Marion and my beloved son Kevin and not allowing Alzheimer’s to take over my beloved Carolyn’s life—but He didn’t do any of those things.
However, all through those storms and every storm of my life, God has given me His sweet peace and a sense of His glorious presence. I love Annie J. Flint’s hymn “God Has Not Promised,” which I have sung often through my trials and traumas:
God has not promised skies always blue
Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through.
God has not promised sun without rain
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain…
God has not promised smooth roads and wide,
Swift easy travel, needing no guide;
Never a mountain, rocky and steep
Never a river, turbid and deep
But God has promised strength for the day
Rest for the labor, light for the way
Grace for the trials, help from above
Unfailing kindness, undying love.
Another hymn that has been an inspiration to me during challenging times in my life is “Wonderful Peace,” written by Warren D. Cornell (1889), which I hum to myself every night as part of my getting-to-sleep routine:
Far away in the depths of my spirit tonight
Rolls a melody sweeter than psalm.
In celestial-like strains it unceasingly falls
O’er my soul like an infinite calm.
Peace, peace, wonderful peace
Coming down from the Father above!
Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray
In fathomless billows of love!
The book is partly autobiographical and partly a synthesis of my theological and philosophical beliefs with my home-spun theories woven in, and taken together they reveal the person I am. Where we may disagree on any issue, I trust we will do so agreeably.
One day when Pastor Brown was out visiting the flock the Lord said to him, “I want you to drop around and see Mrs. Green today and get matters resolved between you.”
“Oh Lord,” the pastor responded, “anyone but Mrs. Green.”
“No,” insisted the Lord, “I want you to visit Mrs. Green.”
So the pastor drove around to the house, went up to the door and gently knocked on the door (hoping Mrs. Green wouldn’t hear it). “Press the bell,” said the Lord. He did, and he heard a movement on the inside. So he knelt down and peered into the keyhole, and there on the other side was Mrs. Green, peering into the same keyhole.
“Oh, Mrs. Green,” the pastor blurted out, “finally, after ten years, we are seeing eye to eye.”
You, my readers, may not see “eye to eye” with me on every issue I have written about, but it is my prayer that what you read in this book will bring hope and inspiration to your life and the conclusion that God really does care about you.
Our Lord assured us of that when He said to His disciples, and thus to us, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:26). Wow! What wonderful assurance of God’s love and care for us! No wonder our Lord admonished His disciples to stop worrying about what they were going to eat and drink and wear (Matthew 6:28–32).
As there are (of necessity) some heavy parts in the book, I have endeavoured to keep it (in keeping with my light spirit) as light and smile-inducing as possible.
Anyone who knows me will know that if there is a “silver lining” to be found in any cloud of a trauma, I will gravitate toward that silver lining.
It is my desire that the primary thesis of the book will be not about me but about God’s grace, goodness and greatness and for His glory alone, a story of how God has enabled me to be more than triumphant through every vicissitude of my life.
I’m reminded of the many traumatic situations that the apostle Paul experienced in his desire to spread the Good News of the gospel throughout the world. In his letter to his fellow believers at Corinth, he lists 20 of them (2 Corinthians 11:23–28). And yet, in spite of all that he had to go through, he came through triumphantly, a living example of what he wrote to his fellow believers at Rome, declaring unto them that “In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37), the verse I have used as the theme for this book.
As we go through challenging times in our life, we have choices to make. We can choose to be bitter or better, lugubrious of spirit or light of spirit. We can allow our adversities to break us down or build us up. We can hold “pity parties” or “praise parties.” And we can choose to be victims or victors. The choice is ours! I have chosen—through God’s grace and strength—the latter of each of these choices. I trust that will be your choice also.
Paul wrote that in all the hardships he had been through in life, he kept in mind that