Leading Me is split into two distinct sections. Here is how the book is laid out:
•Section 1—Chapter 1 helps you to better understand your unique partnership with God in leading you. Chapter 2 provides a biblical framework of God’s design for your life so you have a clear target in mind as well as an evaluative tool.
•Section 2—Chapters 3 to 12 focus on eight key practices for leading yourself well. These practices are rooted in Scripture and based on the proven process of the Arrow Leadership Program. If you intentionally focus on these eight areas, you will develop a solid foundation, practical toolkit and user-friendly pathway for leading yourself effectively over the long haul.
One last thought before you continue on. Leading Me isn’t designed to be read in one sitting. It’s intended to be read and processed slowly over time. So, take one chapter at a time and reflect. Make some notes in a journal. The reflection questions at the end of each chapter will help you to process, share and apply your learning on your own or in the context of a mentoring relationship or small group environment.
Reflection Questions
1.Reflect on the story of the tree in the backyard. What stands out to you from the story and metaphor?
2.What words or phrases would you use to describe the kind of impact or legacy you would like to leave?
3.How do you need to grow in your own personal leadership to be a faithful steward in living and leading well?
Section One
Chapter 1—The Starting Place
King David’s resume was pretty impressive. A gifted musician and poet. A bold and courageous warrior. A skilled strategist. A called, chosen and anointed leader. A man after God’s own heart. The list could go on and get much longer.
In this midst of these qualities, skills and gifts, David faced many significant leadership challenges. For starters, there already was a king. Not only was there a king, but Saul was an insecure and unstable king who regularly flew into blind and violent rages against David. He also had David hunted through the wilderness like wild game.
Another leadership challenge was David’s team. In the early days, this motley crew must have been quite a handful. In 1 Samuel 22:2, they are described: “all those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their commander. About four hundred men were with him.” Not exactly the textbook DNA of a high performance team. In later days, David’s military commander, Joab, went rogue and murdered Saul’s military commander after he had brokered a peace deal with David. And it’s painfully clear that David’s own son Absalom rebelled, led a coup and publicly disgraced his father.
Added to these challenges was external opposition. Whether it was facing down a giant, overcoming powerful enemies, or dealing with the taunts of hecklers, David regularly navigated situations of great pressure and difficulty that would stretch virtually any leader to the limits.
Despite this list of significant leadership challenges, I believe David had a much greater and much more personal leadership challenge. At the core of all of these challenges is David’s personal leadership. If David hadn’t partnered with God in leading himself well, the negative impact to himself, his team and his cause would have been much greater.
David’s biggest leadership assignment and leadership challenge was himself. When David had opportunity to kill Saul, he could have done so to the applause of his team. Instead, David found self-control to hold back as well as courage to rebuke his team. In the loneliness of the caves and life on the run, it would have been understandable if he had been overcome by despair. Instead, he persevered in trusting and worshipping God.
When Ziklag was destroyed by fire and the wives and children of David as well as of his men were taken captive, David could have been consumed by his own raw emotions or by the threats of his followers. Instead, he sought out and listened to God for his next steps. When confronted by Nathan, David’s pride and sense of self-protection could have rejected the rebuke and led to even greater consequences. Instead, he responded with humility, brokenness and repentance.
David’s personal leadership in partnership with God made the difference in each of these situations. But we also know that David had a major lapse in his personal leadership. When other kings were setting off for war, David didn’t join his men. We can speculate on the reason for David’s choice to stay home, but we know that lust and a sense of entitlement took over when he gazed down on a bathing Bathsheba. David’s lapse in personal leadership spiraled into more sin, with deceit and ultimately murder. This failure wasn’t about David’s giftedness, calling or competency as a first-chair leader. This failure was about David’s personal leadership.
The consequences were enormous. It offended God and weighed David down with guilt. The ripple effect left both Uriah and the son of David and Bathsheba dead. It put a dark asterisk beside David’s record as a leader. It contributed to calamity within his family, exile from his position and public humiliation as a leader.
David’s story is a powerful reminder that how you lead yourself is critical. It’s also a clear reminder that personal leadership isn’t easy. It’s our toughest leadership assignment. It’s difficult for a number of reasons. The first is our likeness to sheep. God’s people are often labeled as sheep in Scripture. As a shepherd David knew about sheep. He knew that sheep are far from the smartest creatures. They have a pack mentality, and they are creatures of habit who follow the same trail and routine with no desire for change. Left to their own devices, sheep would consume all the food in a pasture and then starve within sight of another pasture. They are easily frightened. They are fairly helpless and can’t even right themselves if they fall over.
Despite all our education and advances over time, we are a lot like sheep. We often struggle to make wise choices, we are easily consumed by fear, we get stuck in ruts and routines that are unhealthy, and we have difficulty seeing beyond our immediate circumstances. Just like sheep need a shepherd, our desperate need is for the shepherd of Psalm 23. The shepherd who serves, leads, guides, restores, provides, protects and blesses.
A second reason why we are our toughest leadership assignment is the battle within. The apostle Paul was an unparalleled pioneer and bold missionary leader who saw God bring great growth through his service. In the process Paul faced extreme opposition and overwhelming obstacles as a leader. But Paul’s greatest leadership challenge wasn’t his team, who had nearly all deserted him by the end of his life. Paul’s greatest leadership challenge was himself. In Romans 7:21–24 he writes,
So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?
Can you relate to Paul’s struggle? I sure can. I can relate to a war in my mind and feeling like a prisoner to the law of sin at work within. I’ve felt stuck and have struggled to overcome personal battles. I’ve been puzzled, trying to figure out how I can routinely lead others with a reasonable level of skill and solve fairly complex organizational problems, yet I can’t seem to break free from or solve personal issues. Paul goes on in Romans 8 to share God’s solution to his and our problem, but the battle and challenge within is clear.
Added to this war within is another battle. A battled waged externally. As Paul writes in Ephesians 6:12, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” This verse and Paul’s direction to “Therefore put on the full armor of God” (Ephesians 6:13) is a reminder that leading ourselves well isn’t hard simply because of the battle within but also because we are targets of a battle from the outside.
Thankfully, we don’t