Kylie nearly choked, from laughing. It was her best friend since kindergarten and her comedic equal, Anastasia.
“Hey girlfriend, don’t go choking on that thing and force me to give you mouth to mouth!” Anastasia heckled.
“Yeah, cause we don’t know what that might turn into!” Kylie leaned in and went to high five her but intentionally missed, which made them both giggle again.
“What can I do to you, I mean, for you sweet cheeks?” Kylie asked her friend.
“I will have a gin and squash thanks, and make it a juicy double.” Anastasia was always in a good mood.
“Hup hup!” Kylie retorted. “Are we working tonight my love?”
“Is de frogs arse watertight?”
“Hmmm, is de frog in question gay?” Kylie needed to make an informed decision.
“Nope.”
“Then yes.” Kylie smiled. “What time you do you start?”
Anastasia looked at her watch. “In about…two drinks.”
Raising her eyebrows, Kylie put on her best poshe noshe voice and handed Anastasia her drink, “Well, I best not dilly dally then darling. Here is your beverage, please hand me a donation for my till.”
A handful of silver tinkled into the till. They chatted for a few minutes while Anastasia downed her drink and simply stated, “Again!”
“So, I was just sitting with Cherie and Sharon and Sharon was telling me you told her something funny,” Anastasia said.
“Ruh-heally?” Kylie said impressed her joke was retold.
“Yeah, Cherie didn’t laugh. She doesn’t think you’re very funny.” Anastasia gloated with a smile.
Well aware of this, Kylie tried to make light of it. “What, not even funny...lookin’?”
“Bah ha ha ha!” Anastasia laughed. “I didn’t ask her that. Do you want me to?”
“Nah, I’ll ask her mine self the next time that miserable bit of gear comes back for some more booze,” Kylie said, remaining optimistic that one day she would win her over.
“Good for you, don’t ever give up!”
Kylie looked at Anastasia seriously. “I do have to ask this though, you and I are pretty similar and bounce off each other, and they seem to like you...so if I’m like you, why don’t they like meeeee?”
“You, my funny little friend, cannot do anything for them, whereas I can!”
“What can you do for them pray tell?”
“Well, let’s just say that Cherie likes to sing, badly, and I mean she sings badly, but since I am the Karaoke Bar Music Hostess, I accommodate her every request and ensure she gets to the front of the queue.”
“You showbiz tart. What is she doing for you in return?”
“Did you see the paper today? There was a stack of jobs in there and one of them has my name on it!”
“Noooooo way! You’ve cracked it! You’ve crossed over to the other side!”
“Yep, I may live on the wrong side but I’m about to go to work on the right side of the tracks!”
“Good on you mate, I’m really happy for you.” Kylie leant over and gave her a big hug. This was a big deal in a small town. “Baby, your stocks are up. Would you like some more liquid to celebrate, you lil booze hag?”
“Do baked beans make you fart?”
“Rogerhhhh,” Kylie answered and began making another drink. “Take this and line your lungs with it. I’m looking forward to being entertained by you later tonight after I finish,” Kylie said.
“When do you clock off?” she asked.
“10 pm baby, then I’m changing my outfit and going out on the rantan with my friend Sophia from Cloncurry.”
“Oh yeah, I thought I saw her in here having dinner and drinks just before.”
“Yep, she’s appearing for one night only.”
“Okay, well I have to take the shortcut down the stairs so thanks for the ammo, I’ll see you in the basement!”
“Later gator,” said Kylie. “Oh, when you see me wave to you tonight can you play my song for me?”
“Of course darling. Anything for you!” Anastasia blew her a kiss and left via the internal staircase.
Meanwhile Cherie had returned to the bar with her sulky pout. “Two rum and cokes, Cherie?” Kylie pre-empted, aiming to please.
“Yes thank you,” Cherie replied.
“So Cherie,” Kylie started as she made the drinks, “Did I hear that you are representing Mount Isa in Netball?”
“Yes, I am actually, who did you hear that from?”
“Anastasia told me. I just wanted to say congratulations! You must have worked really hard for it,” said Kylie genuinely.
“Not really, my father is on the selection panel. I only want to go so that I have a few days shopping in Townsville for free.”
“Oh.” Kylie was surprised at her candidness. “Wow, it’s not what you know hey!”
“Absolutely,” she said handing her money over and taking a sip, looking directly at Kylie.
“Well have a fantastic time in Townsville. And good luck with your games,” she smiled handing her back her change.
“Yeah,” Cherie said dismissively.
Kylie turned around and opened the fridge up to bring all the bottles to the front. “What a miserable beyarch. If she isn’t even working hard to maximise a chance at winning in her own sport and is gliding under the security of her father’s name to get onto the Rep side, she would hardly promote hard work and self respect to new employees. Do I really want to sell my soul to that upperty puppet master anyway? Nope.” Slamming the fridge door shut, Kylie stepped out from the bar to collect some glasses and had to walk past the table where Cherie was sitting.
“How long have you been working here, Kylie?” Sharon asked as Kylie reached over and took their empties from the table.
“A couple of years. Why’s that mate? Looking for extra work?” Kylie asked. She honestly liked Sharon.
“As if you’d want to be a barmaid Sharon,” Cherie butted in.
“Why wouldn’t you want to be a barmaid Cherie?” Kylie asked politely.
“Well, you have to deal with drunks all night.”
“Oh, I don’t mind having to serve people like you Cherie, you obviously have quite a taste for it!” Kylie replied.
“Not ME! I’m not a drunk,” Cherie gasped.
“Not yeh-het! But everyone at this table knows it’s inevitable!” Kylie smiled and gave her a wink.
“Why don’t you get a real job instead of being a bar wench!” Cherie spat at Kylie.
“This is actually my second job Cherie, I work full time at the Post Office, remember? You know all those pornos you order from Fyshwick? Yeah? Well, I bundle them up for you and make sure you get them home nice and safe.”
Cherie blushed.
“Pornos Cherie, you dirty girl!” Sharon laughed.
“And remember that time we had to call you in because some mail you ordered was suspicious so the postmaster had to open it up to investigate. They thought