“She?” Kylie said. “I’m looking for a husband, not a wife!”
He laughed. “I’ll be at my desk. Come over when you’re ready!”
Kylie looked at the people she was talking to and said, “I’ve gotta act like a banana.....and spuh-lit! Toodles” and she walked off following her boss.
As she walked into his office she saw a lady sitting down with her back to her. She had lovely thick shiny brown hair that rested in the middle of her back and she looked like a very tidy little package from where Kylie was standing. Kylie was one trillion percent heterosexual but her lack of ability to engage brain before opening mouth resulted in filter-less and blatantly honest commentary when she encountered beautiful people – male or female. She worked on the principle that any compliment toward another person would always be welcomed. It never occurred to her that others might question her preference of schlong versus skirt after a simple verbal observation.
“Kylie, I would like to introduce you to Mila, our new Marketing Assistant,” her boss said, extending his arm towards the lady sitting in the chair, who then stood up and spun around to face Kylie and him.
“Far out, how hot are you?” Kylie said without thinking. “I mean, in a non-sexual way, you know, womano to womano” Kylie was now blushing.
Mila – pronounced Mill-lah – was startled by the comment and a little embarrassed. She outstretched her lovely tanned right arm to gently shake Kylie’s right hand.
“Thanks, I think. Kylie is it?” Mila said.
“Yep. Or you can just call me by my Indian name “One with Foot In Mouth.” Kylie laughed at her own joke. So did her boss.
It was a lot for Mila to take in. Clearly, she wasn’t sure how to take Kylie and managed a half-hearted smile in response.
Kylie hadn’t seen anyone like Mila before in her life. This bird was magnificent. She had the most gorgeous brown eyes Kylie had ever seen, a body so smokin’ the fire brigade should have been called to put it out and she stood taller than Kylie, who was no shorty herself.
“So baby, How’d you get your name? Like from the Cheese or what?” Kylie asked.
“What do you mean from the cheese?” Mila asked dumbfounded.
“Milla Milla Cheese from the town on the Atherton Tablelands, Milla Milla? M-I-L-L-A. It’s a brand of dairy products. I’m not taking the piss. Don’t mind me.”
“Oh, my name has only one “L” in it, and we don’t have that brand in Mackay, we have Coooooon,” she said like they do in the television advertisement when they pose for the camera, instead of saying cheese.
“Ha ha , that’s funny. I like that. So are you from Mackay then? How old are you? How tall are you?”
“Yes, like I said, I am from Mackay, I’m 25 and I’m 175 cm tall. What about you?” she asked turning the interrogation back on Kylie.
“I’m 172 cm, 27 and I’m from Mount Isa!” Kylie replied.
“Mount Isa!” Mila repeated with a knowing tone in her voice, her eyebrows lifting a bit.
“Yep,” Kylie said waiting for the tag and pointing each hand with pistol fingers at her but not firing them.
“That explains a lot!” her boss jumped in.
Kylie shot him with her imaginary pistols instead, and then went straight into imitating a drummer. “Ba-boom-chish.”
Kylie could not stop staring at Mila. “Ain’t no-one as purdy as you out in Mount Isa baby!” Kylie said to Mila in a hillbilly voice.
“I doubt that, you look alright,” she said.
Kylie laughed an “I don’t think so” laugh and asked, “So are you fresh out of Uni or what?”
“No, I’ve been working for BMA in Mackay. I transferred up here for a change of scenery.”
“Oh. Right. Yeah I moved over for my job here as well, so do you have any mates in Townsville?” Kylie asked.
“Nope,” she said.
“Cool! Wanna hang out with me? I’ll look up to you! Not just coz you’re taller and everything!”
“Mmmm,” she said indecisively, not committing to anything.
“Oh, okay, fair enough. Ahhh, well… Righto, well, I just picked up this flyer from Woolies and I was thinking about going down and having a go at it,” she said handing the spare flyer to Mila.
“Outrigging?” she said, “I’ve never heard of that.”
“Google it baby, let me know if you’re keen. For that, or anything, you know? Kor-fee? Tea? Me?”
Mila seemed uninterested in committing to anything further and Kylie could see there was no love coming from her so she didn’t force the issue and let Mila get back to work.
“Okay, Nice to meet you Mila,” Kylie said.
“I’ll bring Mila down to meet the crew tomorrow, Kylie. We’ll head down at 10 am if you could assemble the troops,” said Kylie’s boss.
“Oh, don’t worry, every part of them will be standing to attention,” Kylie said unashamedly waving goodbye. She wasn’t trying to be a bitch, she just knew that if she got a non-romantic woody from meeting Mila the guys she worked with would be ecstatic. Kylie walked out the back door of the office, got in the car and drove off.
Mila’s face did not hide her feelings. She looked at her boss and said, “Wow, you’d never have to wonder what she was thinking would you?”
“Kylie? Yeah, she’s very honest and vocal but she’s harmless. I thought you two might be friends?” he said.
“I don’t remember reading that in my position description” she said implying a big negatory on that.
“Oh, okay. Well you both work in the same department so give it some time and see what happens. Kylie is a lovely person. She goes out of her way for people. I just thought that since you are similar ages and both from small country towns that you would get along famously. But it’s up to you, just don’t let how you end up feeling personally about her impact your professional approach to your job,” he said.
“Oh, absolutely,” she said. After he walked away, she read the flyer in her hand and remembered what Kylie had said about having a go and decided not to make any hard and fast decisions about someone she just met. Mila put the flyer on her table and she did google it later out of curiosity but was not willing to make any commitment.
Kylie drove back to Woolies and as she walked past the noticeboard, she told herself that it was up to her to change her current friendless situation. The three simple words she had said to Shooters “Have a go”, repeatedly played in her head.
“Why don’t you, commit to doing something you wouldn’t normally do, at least once a week!” she said to herself. “Doesn’t matter if you fail at it at first, just.....Have a go! You’re on your own, you need to grow, this could help you. Have a go!”
“Hey, I’m a poet, and didn’t know it!” her inner voice said, making her outer presence smile. “Starting with this. You didn’t even think about it, but you’ve come in here, prepared to buy stuff so you can have a go at baking. That, is a tremendous start, because we both know, you suck at cooking.”
“Yep,” she answered her own inner voice out loud.
“But you’re having a go. And you’re doing it for someone else, which is a nice gesture,” her inner voice continued.
“Yep, right up until I burn the crap out of them,” she advised her inner voice out loud.
“Stay positive. You’ll be right. Read