Status Symbols for the Self-Employed
Facing Our Fears
When I started my business in 1986, my two neighbors were terrified at my decision. Both of them worked for a huge bank, and they couldn’t understand how I could give up the security of a job for the insecurity of owning my own business. “Aren’t you afraid to give up a paycheck?”
Of course I was scared. Starting a business is a big step. As frightening as it is to start a new job, opening up your own shop is even more fearsome. But I knew I had to face my fears if I wanted to change my life.
Fear is a funny thing. Many times, we willingly do things that make us afraid. We line up for horror movies, terrify ourselves on roller coasters, or pay large sums of money to skydive out of planes. Some people enjoy bungee jumping. Talk about scary!
Many of the fears we face in business, we willingly bring on ourselves. The very fact that we are in business for ourselves, rather than staying within the perceived security of a job, is a choice we make.
All too often, we try to run away from our fears, in both our business and our personal lives. Yet, when we try to escape our fears, they often overtake us. If we’re afraid of failure, we might not even try. If we’re intimidated by success, we may unwittingly avoid those actions that lead to achievement. When we fear change, we stop ourselves from attempting new things.
Fear inevitably leads to procrastination. We all put off doing things that scare us. We fear confrontation, so we avoid dealing with an unhappy customer, counseling an underperforming employee, working things out with a family member. We delay starting a project because we’re afraid the client won’t like it.
All too often, we try to run away from our fears, in both our business and our personal lives.
But when we allow our fear to stifle us, things only become worse. We now have less time to finish the project, the customer is even unhappier because his complaints weren’t dealt with, the employee keeps making mistakes.
Being in business, I’ve had to learn to battle my fears. Few things in life seem as terrifying as making your first sales call, taking out your first loan, or firing an employee. But there may come a time when you have to do some of these or you won’t survive.
Our fears never go away—they just change over time. About a year after I started my consulting company, I asked a friend who had been in business for fifteen years when you get over the fear of never finding another client. His response: “Never.” He wasn’t exactly right—that fear went away, but I’ve got new ones.
By now I know I’ll always have work. Instead my fears focus more on making the right decisions about which directions to grow my business, whether I’m utilizing or motivating employees in the best way, and the one fear that, indeed, never goes away—can I manage my cash flow well enough to grow my business and pay my bills at the same time?
I’ve learned that fears, once faced, become less scary. Each time we triumph over a fear, we grow in confidence. We learn that most of the horrible things we fear never come to pass. Even when some of our fears are realized, we find that they’re more tolerable than we imagined. We learn we can survive.
The next time you’re afraid, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen? How likely is that?” Then ask yourself, “What happens if I don’t do the thing I fear?” Because there are costs—sometimes huge costs—to not facing our fears.
Remember my two neighbors who were afraid to leave their secure jobs? The huge bank for which they worked was acquired. Both of them lost their jobs.
Sometimes the only way to survive is to face our fears—by looking at them straight on and saying, “I can do this even though I’m afraid.” Still, I’m not taking up bungee jumping—some fears I’m willing to live with.
Learning Courage
“I’d love to have my own business, but I’m not a risk taker.”
I’ve heard that statement hundreds of times from people who dream of being entrepreneurs. They recognize that at the core of being in business is the ability to take risks. But most leave it at that—thinking you’re either born a risk taker or you’re not. That’s not true. You can actually learn to be braver in both your business and your personal lives.
Taking risks is scary; you’ll be afraid. The question is whether you let that fear paralyze you or you learn to deal with it. Conquering fear is a skill, not an art. With determination and practice, you can acquire it over time.
First of all, you have to learn that fear is normal. We look at a woman who’s left a high-paying job to start a business, and we think, “Gosh, how come she’s not afraid?” The truth is she is almost certainly frightened. Risk takers live with lots of fear, but they deal with their fears rather than turn away from their dreams. I once heard that Frank Sinatra got nauseous before every performance, he suffered so much from stage fright. What would have happened if when he was twenty, he decided he was just too afraid to sing? Remember, courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to overcome it.
Ask any successful entrepreneur how they felt in business the first few years and they’re likely to say, “Scared out of my mind!”
They’ll also say they felt exhilarated, liberated, challenged, and more alive than they’d ever been. Because the flip side of fear is the adrenaline, motivation, and even power it gives you (that’s why people like to skydive and bungee jump).
You can train yourself to get used to living with a certain