StoryCorps' (storycorps.net) goal is to inspire people to tell their stories. Some are broadcast on National Public Radio, but their goal is to make the act of recording the story, having the conversation, available to everyone. They set up "story booths" that people can visit to record a story with a friend or relative. The thing that is amazing about these stories is how extraordinary they are. These are not the stories of famous people; it is the connection between the storyteller and the listener that gives them depth and resonance.
"Whenever people listen to these stories, they hear the courage, the humor, the trials and triumphs of an incredible range of voices. By listening closely to one another, we can help illuminate the true character of this nation, reminding us all just how precious each day can be and how truly great it is to be alive."
—Dave Isay, StoryCorps
Being listened to is addictive
We would be remiss if we did not caution you that good listening can be addictive. If you have ever been really listened to, then you know its power. We then want it, even crave it, and seek it constantly.
You know that feeling when you're talking and you were afraid to stop for even a moment because you knew that those listening to you were biding their time until they could jump in? That's a form of "not-really-listening." They aren't actually hearing what you are saying, just waiting for words or phrases to trigger what they will say.
Speaker: I had some trouble coming up with exactly the right... (speaker pauses searching for the right word).
Non-Listener: Oh, I've had that trouble too, but that's no problem. What I've done is... (and they launch into telling their own story, rather than listening).
The listener may never know exactly what the speaker was trying to say. The original thought may be lost, or simply plastered over by the listener's suggestion.
Many of us are so accustomed to being interrupted that we have developed highly effective interruption defense mechanisms. For example, with the threat of interruption, we might raise our voice so we can continue. We might pause only for a moment and then interrupt the interrupter with words like, "I know! I know! And..." and try to finish the thought.
Perhaps you know someone who never seems to stop talking. You might ask yourself: "Where's the off button?! Why are they going on and on and on about the same thing? It's not like I even asked them a question." Perhaps at one point, perhaps even recently, they've had someone who listened hard enough and long enough that they could express and work out what was on their mind. And the only way they can find a really good listener is to talk to everybody a lot. They know they'll recognize a good listener again once another one comes along. They may not even be aware of it, but they remember how good they felt when they were well listened to.
At the risk of sounding overly simplistic, often all people need is to be given the freedom to find intelligence and creativity on their own. We need time to "think out loud" without the threat of interruption, without a listener's apparent allergy to what is often the most precious thing in our culture—moments of silence. Listening to others that deeply is a gift the listener gives the speaker.
Learn to be a good listener
Being a good listener takes practice. It can be especially hard for consultants, who often join a project as an expert and can feel pressure to talk more than they listen.
One of the ways to be good at listening is called active listening. Mind Tools, a career skills development site, lists five elements of good listening.
1 Pay attention. Give the speaker your undivided attention and acknowledge the message.
2 Show that you are listening. Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.
3 Reflect back. Show that you understand what is being said by paraphrasing and summarizing periodically.
4 Defer judgment. Allow the speaker to finish. Don't interrupt.
5 Respond appropriately. Be candid and open in your response.
At MathWorks, Donna Cooper and Michelle Erickson created a workshop on active listening. This skill helps them work together better as a team and also do their work with other groups more effectively. They compiled a list of 10 skills based on research by Marisue Pickering and the University of Vermont (see Table 3.1). These skills are all good listening behaviors that you can practice in your work, as well as during any kind of user research.
Table 3.1
The next time you are in a situation where you need to listen to other people, try observing yourself. See what happens when you consciously turn on good listening behaviors. You might be surprised.
Teach your team to listen
One of the first steps toward a good user experience is to start really listening to your customers and users. This does not mean starting a fancy program with a nice corporate title, but teaching and practicing good listening skills.
For a company or team, really listening means not only hearing the words, but also understanding what's behind those words and being ready to act on what they hear. This clearly applies to listening to users, and we often have to listen to business stakeholders, but we can easily forget to listen to our colleagues.
For example, it's easy to let design sessions become little more than a series of monologues as each person waits for an opening to jump in with his or her own ideas. This can be especially true when the group includes people who are not used to being part of a design team. Your goal is to create an environment where everyone is free to just say what he or she has to say with the knowledge that the others are listening—and listening intently. They are not reading emails, paying attention to their inner monologues, running through task lists, or deciding what they would like to say next. Your job as a facilitator is to make sure that everyone is listened to.
When I worked for a small consulting company, I went on many sales calls. I'd helped create some of the company's marketing materials, so I thought that selling meant talking to potential customers about us: our great services and how clever we were.
Doug Crisman, our president, put me straight. "You make more sales by listening. If you are talking for most of the meeting, you're not taking the time to hear what problem they want you to solve." When I started to listen more carefully, I quickly learned that the specifics of the project were just the tip of the iceberg. There was often an underlying issue that they didn't mention. Maybe this product was the start of a new direction for the company. Or they were facing defections from long-time customers. Or...or...
If we listened carefully first, when we finally spoke about how we could work with them, we could weave our awareness of their issues into the pitch for our services. Years later, I realized the irony: our design process always started by understanding the client's users, but we forgot that our clients were our users, and we needed to understand them, too.
You may not work with a sales team, but anyone in user experience design has to "sell" their deliverables, whether that deliverable is an information architecture, a visual design, a usability report, or a new product concept. If you've not only done your work well, but also listened carefully for the problem that needs to be solved, you will find that you can weave business needs and your user experience work together. You may find a better reaction to your work.
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