Note: In many parts of the world, people, often called monks, dedicate their entire lives to figuring out how to spend as many moments as possible becoming one with the present. Do you know what these monks are really doing, though? In charisma code speak, they are learning how to master their whatiferousness. They are learning how to leave their questioning minds so that an even higher intelligence, believed to exist in every now, can impregnate them with a wholeness and an insight so great, they remember who they are. This is what I call “THE.” In the beginning was the Word, but before the Word itself, is “THE.” “THE” is a prefix to all things. The Word doesn’t exist until you have THE. Nothing exists until you have THE.
How does THE relate to charisma? It has to do with the confidence that comes from knowing who you are. Whatever you think you are, you’re not. You’re more. THE is a way of remembering that there is a mysteriously massive and impeccably clean slate available to you in every moment. You’re not stuck in what you think you are. You’re not stuck in the words other people use to describe you either. You are vast like space itself. You are made of a language beyond words. Baby, you were born with charisma!
Just as words are symbols, so are your thoughts. They are mere clouds floating through your mental sky. You make them up. Sometimes you think thoughts that empower you, while other times you think thoughts that usurp your power. We all do it, right? The question remains, to which thoughts do you give attention?
One common energy drain is to leave the present moment and go gallivanting about in the future. Perhaps you can relate. Has your mind ever strayed from your work, thinking about what to eat for lunch? Then, when you’re eating lunch, do you find yourself thinking about what’s next at work? Get back in your body! The difference between thinking about eating your sandwich and actually eating it is the difference between reading a menu and crunching that hot aioli toast between your teeth.
Likewise, the past clamors for your attention. Have you ever been hung up on a conversation you wish had gone differently, a mistake you think you made, or a lost relationship you now imagine was perfect? The past is so much less energized than the present. When you live in the past, you become a shadow of yourself. In order to cultivate charismatic currency, you have to stay current. Exchange all of those little-stuff thoughts swimming around in your cranium, the ones based in the past or the future, and embrace the big stuff. Love, joy, and passion live in the present, so let’s get your mind back to this succulent moment. This will require focus.
You can’t make fire with a magnifying glass if your hand is wiggling around. You need a steady, still hand to gather the sun and start the fire. Using this analogy, I like to think of the sun as a life force available to us in any given moment, if we stop and sip the stillness. Out of this stillness comes novel ideas. Out of this stillness comes life, and out of this stillness comes fiery passion. Any moment our minds stop playing ping pong, a huge rush of energy floods into our bodies. Still thoughts are like the steady magnifying glass, focusing life force into fire, into creation. Creativity, inspiration, and innovation are born here. In this creative crucible, it is obvious we are made of great stuff, and when you realize you are made of great stuff, you rip off the mask that occludes your confidence.
As mentioned, we Western folk are trained to be on the run from immediate circumstance. When you first attempt to stay present, you may encounter resistance personalities like these:
These knee-jerk reactions to being present may be discouraging, but like any habit, we can make it stick with repetition and conviction. Make a valiant choice to bring yourself back to the vibrant aliveness in each sensory moment. Remember: Only you can turn the knob on how much life you let inhabit every second. The present, by its very nature, can never leave you. It does not matter how frightened, confused, or angst-ridden you feel, the present is “the gift of grace” that every charismatic learns to stretch out in.
Want to turn your faucet knob full throttle with the pomegranate juice of now? Take a hint from the ancient Masters and do the simplest thing in the world: Sit still, watch your breath, and don’t be afraid of what you feel.
Ask yourself: Is my behavior getting me the results I want?
I asked a cognitive neuroscientist friend of mine, Dr. Andrew Hill, what the function of our brain is. He told me the brain is “a pattern-matching machine. Its job is to maximize benefit and reduce risk, by identifying patterns from previous experience in incoming information.” That great wiry, curlicued electric miracle of your brain serves one function: it makes patterns!
Think about it: Patterns are necessary for survival. Recognizing bright orange spherical things on the edges of tree branches can keep you alive. The more we think or do something, the more our brains assign relevance to it. “Oh,” says the brain, “she’s done that a lot; it must be important. I will keep my eye out for it and be ready to respond the way she’s practiced (fight it, love it, or ignore it).”
Bless our brain’s pattern-making ability. It is greatly responsible for why we are the most adaptable species on earth, but we can also create some pretty nasty unintentional patterns. Patterns are like ruts, wagon-wheel pathways our brain runs over and over because we keep practicing them. Sometimes we practice the wrong thing, and then it’s hard to get out of those well-worn, mud-hardened grooves. Our biology is efficient; it won’t go out of its way to change a patterned route. Nope. If left to its own devices, the brain will keep on running the pattern that you (and your parents and your culture) have had you practicing since birth. Same old self-deprecating thoughts. Same old late-night cake and cookie dough, same old running away before “maybe . . .”; same old little tiny, insignificant, grey-walled thought loops—on and on and on and on and on and on and on—and