At age sixty Anna was ready to try again. In her private Constellation session concerning her pursuit of a new partnership, she examined her relationship with her first husband. Feelings of love and loss washed over her—loss for what did not materialize between them, and love for what they had shared. As the Emotional state of consciousness shifted into the Spiritual state of Soul recognition with her husband, Anna began to understand other aspects of her marriage. She recognized that her husband represented the outwardly successful and highly spiritual male that she felt she could never measure up to. She vowed never to put herself in that type of relationship again.
In Peter’s quiet office as Anna looked at a few wooden figurines representing herself, her first husband, and a potential partner (the past, present, and future), she dropped into Soul consciousness. Suddenly she realized that one of the underlying reasons for her marriage was to guide her to seek out a path of spiritual inquiry. Sitting in silence, a profound sense of gratefulness came over Anna. Past feelings of regret were replaced with an understanding that her marriage had been necessary in order to create the trajectory that allowed her to pursue her Soul’s longing.
Crying softly, Anna became calmer and calmer as her mental state synthesized all the information coursing through her being. Her Emotional state was one of peace for all that had occurred in relation to her husband—beyond the personalities that had played out in their time together.
I also offered Anna Words of Empowerment to help solidify the healing and understanding she received though her constellation. She spoke these words with truth: “I see you now more clearly, dear husband.” “Thank you for the time you spent with me.” “I wish you well on your Soul’s Journey.” As Anna repeated these sentences, at first out loud and then internally, her four Levels of Consciousness aligned into a unified field. She could feel the tension and resistance that had accumulated in her pursuit of a new relationship melt away. Looking back at her life from her Soul’s perspective, she felt deep gratitude for the last thirty years of her life, a life that she loved, and for the significant role he played in helping her pursue her own path of self-discovery. There were no regrets, doubts, or judgments, only appreciation for all her experiences that led her up to this present moment in time.
Without any prompting, she said several times aloud, “Thank you.” To whom, or for what, only Anna knew. As we finished up the session, she added, “I feel ready to trust a man again.”
PART II
Accepting
Our Family
As It Is
Dear Constellation Journeyer—
We begin the Constellation journey by pursuing the first Perennial Question—how did I get here? This question and Part II of The Constellation Approach: Finding Peace through Your Family Lineage will guide you through four foundational Strands of Awareness—Family of Origin, Father’s Lineage, Mother’s Lineage, and Siblings. At the end of each chapter you will be invited to include your personal journal reflections. You can turn to Part V to experience the respective Constellations using figurines.
These four Constellations are called Systemic Constellations. Systemic Constellations are those that originate with the Family of Origin or current primary relationships that include husbands, wives, partners, children, grandparents, grandchildren, step-children. The system is observed to determine if and where there is imbalance. These Systemic Constellations involve a step-by-step process that works trans-generationally from the oldest generation towards the current.
Ultimately, in exploring our own energetic and Soul origins in relation to our Family of Origin, we come to accept that we chose the circumstances of our birth, including our parents.
May you come to greater acceptance on your path towards peace with your Family Lineage.
—Jamy & Peter
Chapter 5
Our Family of Origin
The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.
—George Santayana, philosopher
We begin our journey with the most foundational of all Constellations—the Family of Origin Constellation. A Family of Origin Constellation can be thought of as a Soul-remembering ritual. It creates an opportunity for us to acknowledge all of the members of our family. The Constellation simultaneously connects us to the Family Energy Field and with those who have agreed to accompany us on our life’s journey. Likes and dislikes aside, they are our bloodline. We belong to them and them to us. They are our tribe, our clan, an intimate circle of beings with the same genetic imprint.
The pathway that leads to a full experience of our Soul nature begins with our Family of Origin. This particular Constellation summons up our deepest yearning to belong; it also allows us to navigate and take our place in the continuous stream of consciousness that has flowed since the beginning of time through our Family Lineage.
A Family of Origin Constellation is the first step in unraveling the Strands of Awareness. It is a true ‘gathering of souls’—of seeing, feeling, and accepting all the beings that make up our family and discovering where we fit among them. We begin to understand the Threads of Consciousness that bind us together.
Our Family of Origin includes our biological father and mother, our siblings, and both sets of grandparents. It does not matter if we knew them or not, the type of relationships we have or had, or if they are living or deceased. We simply recall their names, their homelands, their lives. As each member takes their appropriate place, the Constellation reveals the unspoken, and often, unconscious, bonds we share with our family. We begin to awaken to a deeper sense of belonging and connection. The finding peace process has begun as we stand present with our Family of Origin.
The Family Soul
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
—Jane Howard, journalist
To appreciate our place within our Family of Origin, let’s contemplate for a moment the number of people who have actually contributed to our DNA beyond the great-grandparents that each of us have:
16 great-great-grandparents
32 great-great-great-grandparents
64 great-great-great-great-grandparents
128 great-great-great-great-great-grandparents
256 great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents
512 great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents
1024 great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents
In 10 generations, we are connected to 2,046 ancestors!
It’s humbling to consider the astonishing number of familial forbearers who have walked this path of life before us, living and dying. In the Constellation Approach, the Family Soul is the continuous stream of consciousness that travels along the masculine and feminine lineages into the Family Energy Field that eventually leads to us. Whether family members are aware of it or not, they are unconsciously directed by the Family Soul, much like a conductor directing an orchestra. The Family Soul may also include non-relatives who have had a significant impact on one of our family members—for