And then all thoughts of earthly existence broke apart and began to fade. I was shining and free. The Shepherd held up a hand in farewell, and I hovered for a moment, mesmerized. A brilliant symbol glowed there on his palm like a beacon. A faraway memory seemed to tug at me. I reached for it, struggling to recall what the symbol meant and why it was important.
With a regretful glance at the beckoning sea, I turned and began drifting back toward The Shepherd’s hand, searching myself for the significance of that strangely compelling symbol. Its meaning was as vast as the sea behind me. It went on forever, like … infinity.
Memory crashed over me and I felt myself buzzing with agitation as I rushed toward The Shepherd. I didn’t belong here. I tried to tell him - but I had no voice. His walrus’ face hung down in puzzlement as he attempted to urge me forward with his hand. Brightness beamed from the infinity symbol there, and I felt it nudging me back toward the Sea.
Panic overtook me as I resisted the push. The air began to glow brighter around me, and I realized that it was my own light, pulsing in time with my fear.
The Shepherd blinked his midnight eyes at me and the infinity symbol dimmed as he slowly lowered his hand.
“Seals of the magi,” he mumbled, shaking his head and sending his long whiskers quivering. “I won’t force you, bright one, but the wait will be long and lonely if you do not join the Sea.” He watched me for a moment before he sighed and turned away. “I suppose you’ll move on when you’re ready.”
I hovered there, lost and alone, as he shuffled back up the tunnel. Not knowing what else to do, I drifted after him. He continued to mutter to himself and I floated closer so that I could hear him.
“Only has one other soul ever refused to join the Sea like that. Strange happenings here lately. More souls being reborn than usual. Maybe it’s time to pay a visit to the Seelie Court. Probably been at least a century since I poked my head out.”
He grumbled, seeming caught up in an argument with himself. Then he shrugged and puffed out his whiskers.
“No. Surely they would call on me if there was a problem. Must be getting paranoid in my solitude and old age.” He chuckled softly. “I’m sure everything is in good order. Still, I suppose I am past due for a visit. Maybe sometime soon …”
He fell silent. I continued to drift along behind him, back up the passage, past the myriad souls that waited to be reborn. He turned to the left and disappeared through an opening in the wall that led into a small, sparsely furnished space. I watched him settle, cross-legged, onto a cushion in the middle of the floor. He closed his eyes and remained there, perfectly still, like a wizened old monk lost in meditation.
I was forgotten. Despair and loneliness settled over me. What was I supposed to do now? How was I going to get home?
And then it hit me.
Oh Goddess.
I was dead.
I flew further up the twilit passageway, this time paying no heed to the glowing entities wandering in my wake. I was desperate to find an exit - and not into the newborn body of a screaming baby. I had to get back and tell Sparrow, Sunny and Lorien about the goblin and the infinity tattoo - I couldn’t be dead!
As I neared the end of the tunnel, fog swirling with dark rainbows gradually thickened and condensed into an amorphous barrier. It looked like a heavy mist, but it was as unyielding as a rock wall. I floated up its length, my anxiety growing as I explored its edges but found no escape.
Two waiting souls approached - one thin and fey, graceful as a butterfly; the other short and round, with the look of a plodding forest creature, an orb of light at the tip of its tail. They were different as sun from moon, but they held hands as they traveled alongside each other, their mingled bliss shining from their faces. They seemed to belong together, like two mismatched peas in a pod.
I thought, in wonder, that they must be twins.
They floated right at the barrier and I swept down to rush after them. But the mist gently pushed me back, even as it allowed their forms to pass through. I could have cried with the frustration of it, but just as I had no voice, I had no tears. I sank down to the floor, utterly disheartened.
I remained there for a long while, limp and hopeless, my consciousness beginning to drift. A sound, so faint I thought I might have imagined it, caught my fading attention. It came again, nearly inaudible, like a cry heard from too far away. I rose, gliding back down the tunnel with listless curiosity, and coming to a halt before the orb of flame with the man’s face that had drawn me earlier. Its brightness had dimmed to almost nothing.
As I focused on it, the pale impression of masculine features reappeared. Eyes looked out at me in desperation and something inside me recognized their heat. They pulled me forward into the intensity of their gaze. The cry sounded again, resonating deep within me, calling my name.
I melded into the orb and was instantly engulfed by its warmth. Then I was flying through the nothingness of space at an impossible speed, too fast to think, too fast to see. It ended in an abrupt jolt of physical awareness that left me gasping for breath.
Heaviness settled into me, paralyzing and unbearable at first. But gentle hands moved over me and soft crooning words whispered through my ears. Gradually the heaviness began to ease, and I opened my eyes to find Sparrow hovering over me. He tried to smile, but his face was stiff, his eyes haunted.
I wanted to reach up and smooth his worried frown, but my body felt awkward and unresponsive, and my hand flopped uselessly at my side. He must have seen my panic, because he moved closer, whispering words of comfort in Gaelic as his palms swept down my arms, his fingers finding mine and twining with them.
I felt wetness on my face and realized that the tears I had been unable to shed now streamed from my eyes.
“Sydney,” Sparrow whispered brokenly, holding me with his gaze as he leaned in to brush his lips against mine. It was the lightest touch, meant only to soothe, but electricity arced between us with the contact. My lips responded the way my limbs wouldn’t, desperately moving against his. I drank him in as if I was dying of a thirst only he could quench, my flesh craving proof that it still lived.
He groaned softly into my mouth, his tongue seeking mine as he returned the kiss with a slow-burning intensity that sent me spiraling out of my body once more.
A muffled sound, half laughter, half sobbing, broke through the burgeoning haze of desire that threatened to sweep me away.
Sparrow gentled the kiss, cupping my face in his palms as he broke it, the stroke of his thumb across my lower lip easing the vacancy left by his mouth. “We thought we’d lost you.”
I felt the mattress dip beneath me as Sunny scrambled onto the bed and threw her arms around me in a tight hug. When I whimpered at the pressure against my aching right side, she instantly pulled back, her tear-streaked face contrite.
“Sorry, Syd. Did I hurt you?” She sniffed, her green eyes rimmed with red and cloudy with worry.
“Just bruised where I fell,” I mumbled, trying to manage a reassuring smile.
She gingerly lifted my dirt-crusted shirt and sucked in a breath. I craned my neck, grimacing at what I saw. No wonder I was sore. My entire side was an ugly mass of discoloration, blooming with shades of black, green and blue.
“Are you sure nothing’s broken?” Sunny asked, looking horrified.
“Let me see,” Sparrow insisted as he leaned over me. He passed his hand just above the bruising,