“A pleasant life I’ll have of it if this sort of thing goes on,” he said, bitterly, “I wish I had never seen, or heard of Whyte.”
He dressed himself carefully. He was not a man to neglect his toilet, however worried and out of sorts he might happen to feel. Yet, notwithstanding all his efforts the change in his appearance did not escape the eye of his landlady. She was a small, dried-up little woman, with a wrinkled yellowish face. She seemed parched up and brittle. Whenever she moved she crackled, and one went in constant dread of seeing a wizen-looking limb break off short like the branch of some dead tree. When she spoke it was in a voice hard and shrill, not unlike the chirp of a cricket. When—as was frequently the case—she clothed her attenuated form in a faded brown silk gown, her resemblance to that lively insect was remarkable.
And, as on this morning she crackled into Brian’s sitting-room with the ARGUS and his coffee, a look of dismay at his altered appearance, came over her stony little countenance.
“Dear me, sir,” she chirped out in her shrill voice, as she placed her burden on the table, “are you took bad?”
Brian shook his head.
“Want of sleep, that’s all, Mrs. Sampson,” he answered, unfolding the ARGUS.
“Ah! that’s because ye ain’t got enough blood in yer ‘ead,” said Mrs. Sampson, wisely, for she had her own ideas on the subject of health. “If you ain’t got blood you ain’t got sleep.”
Brian looked at her as she said this, for there seemed such an obvious want of blood in her veins that he wondered if she had ever slept in all her life.
“There was my father’s brother, which, of course, makes ‘im my uncle,” went on the landlady, pouring out a cup of coffee for Brian, “an’ the blood ‘e ‘ad was somethin’ astoundin’, which it made ‘im sleep that long as they ‘ad to draw pints from ‘im afore ‘e’d wake in the mornin’.”
Brian had the ARGUS before his face, and under its friendly cover he laughed quietly to himself.
“His blood poured out like a river,” went on the landlady, still drawing from the rich stores of her imagination, “and the doctor was struck dumb with astonishment at seein’ the Nigagerer which burst from ‘im—but I’m not so full-blooded myself.”
Fitzgerald again stifled a laugh, and wondered that Mrs. Sampson was not afraid of being treated as were Ananias and Sapphira. However, he said nothing, but merely intimated that if she would leave the room he would take his breakfast.
“An’ if you wants anythin’ else, Mr. Fitzgerald,” she said, going to the door, “you knows your way to the bell as easily as I do to the kitching,” and, with a final chirrup, she crackled out of the room.
As soon as the door was closed, Brian put down his paper and roared, in spite of his worries. He had that extraordinary vivacious Irish temperament, which enables a man to put all trouble behind his back, and thoroughly enjoy the present. His landlady, with her Arabian Nightlike romances, was a source of great amusement to him, and he felt considerably cheered by the odd turn her humour had taken this morning. After a time, however, his laughter ceased, and his troubles came crowding on him again. He drank his coffee, but pushed away the food which was before him; and looked through the ARGUS, for the latest report about the murder case. What he read made his cheek turn a shade paler than before. He could feel his heart thumping wildly.
“They’ve found a clue, have they?” he muttered, rising and pacing restlessly up and down. “I wonder what it can be? I threw that man off the scent last night, but if he suspects me, there will be no difficulty in his finding out where I live. Bah! What nonsense I am talking. I am the victim of my own morbid imagination. There is nothing to connect me with the crime, so I need not be afraid of my shadow. I’ve a good mind to leave town for a time, but if I am suspected that would excite suspicion. Oh, Madge! my darling,” he cried passionately, “if you only knew what I suffer, I know that you would pity me—but you must never know the truth—Never! Never!” and sinking into a chair by the window, he covered his face with his hands. After remaining in this position for some minutes, occupied with his own gloomy thoughts, he arose and rang the bell. A faint crackle in the distance announced that Mrs. Sampson had heard it, and she soon came into the room, looking more like a cricket than ever. Brian had gone into his bedroom, and called out to her from there—
“I am going down to St. Kilda, Mrs. Sampson,” he said, “and probably I shall not be back all day.”
“Which I ‘opes it ‘ull do you good,” she answered, “for you’ve eaten nothin’, an’ the sea breezes is miraculous for makin’ you take to your victuals. My mother’s brother, bein’ a sailor, an’ wonderful for ‘is stomach, which, when ‘e ‘ad done a meal, the table looked as if a low-cuss had gone over it.”
“A what?” asked Fitzgerald, buttoning his gloves.
“A low-cuss!” replied the landlady, in surprise at his ignorance, “as I’ve read in ‘Oly Writ, as ‘ow John the Baptist was partial to ‘em, not that I think they’d be very fillin’, tho’, to be sure, ‘e ‘ad a sweet tooth, and ate ‘oney with ‘em.”
“Oh! you mean locusts,” said Brian now enlightened.
“An’ what else?” asked Mrs. Sampson, indignantly; “which, tho’ not bein’ a scholar’d, I speaks English, I ‘opes, my mother’s second cousin ‘avin’ ‘ad first prize at a spellin’ bee, tho’ ‘e died early through brain fever, ‘avin’ crowded ‘is ‘ead over much with the dictionary.”
“Dear me!” answered Brian, mechanically. “How unfortunate!” He was not listening to Mrs. Sampson’s remarks. He suddenly remembered an arrangement which Madge had made, and which up till now had slipped his memory.
“Mrs. Sampson,” he said, turning round at the door, “I am going to bring Mr. Frettlby and his daughter to have a cup of afternoon tea here, so you might have some ready.”
“You ‘ave only to ask and to ‘ave,” answered Mrs. Sampson, hospitably, with a gratified crackle of all her joints. “I’ll make the tea, sir, an’ also some of my own perticler cakes, bein’ a special kind I ‘ave, which my mother showed me ‘ow to make, ‘avin’ been taught by a lady as she nussed thro’ the scarlet fever, tho’ bein’ of a weak constitootion, she died soon arter, bein’ in the ‘abit of contractin’ any disease she might chance on.”
Brian hurried off lest in her Poe-like appreciation of them, Mrs. Sampson should give vent to more charnel-house horrors.
At one period of her life, the little woman had been a nurse, and it was told of her that she had frightened one of her patients into convulsions during the night by narrating to her the history of all the corpses she had laid out. This ghoul-like tendency in the end proved fatal to her professional advancement.
As soon as Fitzgerald had gone, she went over to the window and watched him as he walked slowly down the street—a tall, handsome man, of whom any woman would be proud.
“What an awful thing it are to think ‘e’ll be a corpse some day,” she chirped cheerily to herself, “tho’ of course bein’ a great swell in ‘is own place, ‘e’ll ‘ave a nice airy vault, which ‘ud be far more comfortable than a close, stuffy grave, even tho’ it ‘as a tombstone an’ vi’lets over it. Ah, now! Who are you, impertinence?” she broke off, as a stout man in a light suit of clothes crossed the road and rang the bell, “a-pullin’ at the bell as if it were a pump ‘andle.”
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