He looked brightly round the company.
‘I wonder what the “hurriedly” was,’ said Ursula.
They all began to guess.
And then, to the amazement of everybody, the maid came hurrying with a large tea-tray. The afternoon had passed so swiftly.
After tea, they were all gathered for a walk.
‘Would you like to come for a walk?’ said Hermione to each of them, one by one. And they all said yes, feeling somehow like prisoners marshalled for exercise. Birkin only refused.
‘Will you come for a walk, Rupert?’
‘No, Hermione.’
‘But are you SURE?’
‘Quite sure.’ There was a second’s hesitation.
‘And why not?’ sang Hermione’s question. It made her blood run sharp, to be thwarted in even so trifling a matter. She intended them all to walk with her in the park.
‘Because I don’t like trooping off in a gang,’ he said.
Her voice rumbled in her throat for a moment. Then she said, with a curious stray calm:
‘Then we’ll leave a little boy behind, if he’s sulky.’
And she looked really gay, while she insulted him. But it merely made him stiff.
She trailed off to the rest of the company, only turning to wave her handkerchief to him, and to chuckle with laughter, singing out:
‘Good-bye, good-bye, little boy.’
‘Good-bye, impudent hag,’ he said to himself.
They all went through the park. Hermione wanted to show them the wild daffodils on a little slope. ‘This way, this way,’ sang her leisurely voice at intervals. And they had all to come this way. The daffodils were pretty, but who could see them? Ursula was stiff all over with resentment by this time, resentment of the whole atmosphere. Gudrun, mocking and objective, watched and registered everything.
They looked at the shy deer, and Hermione talked to the stag, as if he too were a boy she wanted to wheedle and fondle. He was male, so she must exert some kind of power over him. They trailed home by the fish-ponds, and Hermione told them about the quarrel of two male swans, who had striven for the love of the one lady. She chuckled and laughed as she told how the ousted lover had sat with his head buried under his wing, on the gravel.
When they arrived back at the house, Hermione stood on the lawn and sang out, in a strange, small, high voice that carried very far:
‘Rupert! Rupert!’ The first syllable was high and slow, the second dropped down. ‘Roo-o-opert.’
But there was no answer. A maid appeared.
‘Where is Mr Birkin, Alice?’ asked the mild straying voice of Hermione. But under the straying voice, what a persistent, almost insane WILL!
‘I think he’s in his room, madam.’
‘Is he?’
Hermione went slowly up the stairs, along the corridor, singing out in her high, small call:
‘Ru-oo-pert! Ru-oo pert!’
She came to his door, and tapped, still crying: ‘Roo-pert.’
‘Yes,’ sounded his voice at last.
‘What are you doing?’
The question was mild and curious.
There was no answer. Then he opened the door.
‘We’ve come back,’ said Hermione. ‘The daffodils are SO beautiful.’
‘Yes,’ he said, ‘I’ve seen them.’
She looked at him with her long, slow, impassive look, along her cheeks.
‘Have you?’ she echoed. And she remained looking at him. She was stimulated above all things by this conflict with him, when he was like a sulky boy, helpless, and she had him safe at Breadalby. But underneath she knew the split was coming, and her hatred of him was subconscious and intense.
‘What were you doing?’ she reiterated, in her mild, indifferent tone. He did not answer, and she made her way, almost unconsciously into his room. He had taken a Chinese drawing of geese from the boudoir, and was copying it, with much skill and vividness.
‘You are copying the drawing,’ she said, standing near the table, and looking down at his work. ‘Yes. How beautifully you do it! You like it very much, don’t you?’
‘It’s a marvellous drawing,’ he said.
‘Is it? I’m so glad you like it, because I’ve always been fond of it. The Chinese Ambassador gave it me.’
‘I know,’ he said.
‘But why do you copy it?’ she asked, casual and sing-song. ‘Why not do something original?’
‘I want to know it,’ he replied. ‘One gets more of China, copying this picture, than reading all the books.’
‘And what do you get?’
She was at once roused, she laid as it were violent hands on him, to extract his secrets from him. She MUST know. It was a dreadful tyranny, an obsession in her, to know all he knew. For some time he was silent, hating to answer her. Then, compelled, he began:
‘I know what centres they live from — what they perceive and feel — the hot, stinging centrality of a goose in the flux of cold water and mud — the curious bitter stinging heat of a goose’s blood, entering their own blood like an inoculation of corruptive fire — fire of the cold-burning mud — the lotus mystery.’
Hermione looked at him along her narrow, pallid cheeks. Her eyes were strange and drugged, heavy under their heavy, drooping lids. Her thin bosom shrugged convulsively. He stared back at her, devilish and unchanging. With another strange, sick convulsion, she turned away, as if she were sick, could feel dissolution setting-in in her body. For with her mind she was unable to attend to his words, he caught her, as it were, beneath all her defences, and destroyed her with some insidious occult potency.
‘Yes,’ she said, as if she did not know what she were saying. ‘Yes,’ and she swallowed, and tried to regain her mind. But she could not, she was witless, decentralised. Use all her will as she might, she could not recover. She suffered the ghastliness of dissolution, broken and gone in a horrible corruption. And he stood and looked at her unmoved. She strayed out, pallid and preyed-upon like a ghost, like one attacked by the tomb-influences which dog us. And she was gone like a corpse, that has no presence, no connection. He remained hard and vindictive.
Hermione came down to dinner strange and sepulchral, her eyes heavy and full of sepulchral darkness, strength. She had put on a dress of stiff old greenish brocade, that fitted tight and made her look tall and rather terrible, ghastly. In the gay light of the drawing-room she was uncanny and oppressive. But seated in the half-light of the diningroom, sitting stiffly before the shaded candles on the table, she seemed a power, a presence. She listened and attended with a drugged attention.
The party was gay and extravagant in appearance, everybody had put on evening dress except Birkin and Joshua Mattheson. The little Italian Contessa wore a dress of tissue, of orange and gold and black velvet in soft wide stripes, Gudrun was emerald green with strange net-work, Ursula was in yellow with dull silver veiling, Miss Bradley was of grey, crimson and jet, Fraulein Marz wore pale blue. It gave Hermione a sudden convulsive sensation of pleasure, to see these rich colours under the candle-light. She was aware of the talk going on, ceaselessly, Joshua’s voice dominating; of the ceaseless pitter-patter of women’s light laughter and responses; of the brilliant colours and the white table and the shadow above and below; and she seemed in a swoon of gratification,