But we must go back a little, and it shall be but a little, for a difficulty begins to make itself manifest in the necessity of disposing of all our friends in the small remainder of this one volume. Oh, that Mr. Longman would allow me a fourth! It should transcend the other three as the seventh heaven transcends all the lower stages of celestial bliss.
Going home in the carriage that evening from Ullathorne, Dr. Gwynne had not without difficulty brought round his friend the archdeacon to a line of tactics much less bellicose than that which his own taste would have preferred. “It will be unseemly in us to show ourselves in a bad humour; moreover, we have no power in this matter, and it will therefore be bad policy to act as though we had.” ‘Twas thus the Master of Lazarus argued. “If,” he continued, “the bishop be determined to appoint another to the hospital, threats will not prevent him, and threats should not be lightly used by an archdeacon to his bishop. If he will place a stranger in the hospital, we can only leave him to the indignation of others. It is probable that such a step may not eventually injure your father-in-law. I will see the bishop, if you will allow me—alone.” At this the archdeacon winced visibly. “Yes, alone; for so I shall be calmer; and then I shall at any rate learn what he does mean to do in the matter.”
The archdeacon puffed and blew, put up the carriage window and then put it down again, argued the matter up to his own gate, and at last gave way. Everybody was against him, his own wife, Mr. Harding, and Dr. Gwynne.
“Pray keep him out of hot water, Dr. Gwynne,” Mrs. Grantly had said to her guest.
“My dearest madam, I’ll do my best,” the courteous master had replied. ‘Twas thus he did it and earned for himself the gratitude of Mrs. Grantly.
And now we may return to the bishop’s study.
Dr. Gwynne had certainly not foreseen the difficulty which here presented itself. He—together with all the clerical world of England—had heard it rumoured about that Mrs. Proudie did not confine herself to her wardrobes, still-rooms, and laundries; but yet it had never occurred to him that if he called on a bishop at one o’clock in the day, he could by any possibility find him closeted with his wife; or that if he did so, the wife would remain longer than necessary to make her curtsey. It appeared, however, as though in the present case Mrs. Proudie had no idea of retreating.
The bishop had been very much pleased with Dr. Gwynne on the preceding day, and of course thought that Dr. Gwynne had been as much pleased with him. He attributed the visit solely to compliment, and thought it an extremely gracious and proper thing for the Master of Lazarus to drive over from Plumstead specially to call at the palace so soon after his arrival in the country. The fact that they were not on the same side either in politics or doctrines made the compliment the greater. The bishop, therefore, was all smiles. And Mrs. Proudie, who liked people with good handles to their names, was also very well disposed to welcome the Master of Lazarus.
“We had a charming party at Ullathorne, Master, had we not?” said she. “I hope Mrs. Grantly got home without fatigue.”
Dr. Gwynne said that they had all been a little tired, but were none the worse this morning.
“An excellent person, Miss Thorne,” suggested the bishop.
“And an exemplary Christian, I am told,” said Mrs. Proudie.
Dr. Gwynne declared that he was very glad to hear it.
“I have not seen her Sabbath-day schools yet,” continued the lady, “but I shall make a point of doing so before long.”
Dr. Gwynne merely bowed at this intimation. He had heard something of Mrs. Proudie and her Sunday-schools, both from Dr. Grantly and Mr. Harding.
“By the by, Master,” continued the lady, “I wonder whether Mrs. Grantly would like me to drive over and inspect her Sabbath-day school. I hear that it is most excellently kept.”
Dr. Gwynne really could not say. He had no doubt Mrs. Grantly would be most happy to see Mrs. Proudie any day Mrs. Proudie would do her the honour of calling: that was, of course, if Mrs. Grantly should happen to be at home.
A slight cloud darkened the lady’s brow. She saw that her offer was not taken in good part. This generation of unregenerated vipers was still perverse, stiffnecked, and hardened in their iniquity. “The archdeacon, I know,” said she, “sets his face against these institutions.”
At this Dr. Gwynne laughed slightly. It was but a smile. Had he given his cap for it he could not have helped it.
Mrs. Proudie frowned again. “‘Suffer little children, and forbid them not,’“ she said. “Are we not to remember that, Dr. Gwynne? ‘Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones.’ Are we not to remember that, Dr. Gwynne?” And at each of these questions she raised at him her menacing forefinger.
“Certainly, madam, certainly,” said the master, “and so does the archdeacon, I am sure, on weekdays as well as on Sundays.”
“On weekdays you can’t take heed not to despise them,” said Mrs. Proudie, “because then they are out in the fields. On weekdays they belong to their parents, but on Sundays they ought to belong to the clergyman.” And the finger was again raised.
The master began to understand and to share the intense disgust which the archdeacon always expressed when Mrs. Proudie’s name was mentioned. What was he to do with such a woman as this? To take his hat and go would have been his natural resource, but then he did not wish to be foiled in his object.
“My lord,” said he, “I wanted to ask you a question on business, if you could spare me one moment’s leisure. I know I must apologize for so disturbing you, but in truth I will not detain you five minutes.”
“Certainly, Master, certainly,” said the bishop; “my time is quite yours—pray make no apology, pray make no apology.”
“You have a great deal to do just at the present moment, Bishop. Do not forget how extremely busy you are at present,” said Mrs. Proudie, whose spirit was now up, for she was angry with her visitor.
“I will not delay his lordship much above a minute,” said the Master of Lazarus, rising from his chair and expecting that Mrs. Proudie would now go, or else that the bishop would lead the way into another room.
But neither event seemed likely to occur, and Dr. Gwynne stood for a moment silent in the middle of the room.
“Perhaps it’s about Hiram’s Hospital?” suggested Mrs. Proudie.
Dr. Gwynne, lost in astonishment, and not knowing what else on earth to do, confessed that his business with the bishop was connected with Hiram’s Hospital.
“His lordship has finally conferred the appointment on Mr. Quiverful this morning,” said the lady.
Dr. Gwynne made a simple reference to the bishop, and finding that the lady’s statement was formally confirmed, he took his leave. “That comes of the reform bill,” he said to himself as he walked down the bishop’s avenue. “Well, at any rate the Greek play bishops were not so bad as that.”
It has been said that Mr. Slope, as he started for Ullathorne, received a dispatch from his friend Mr. Towers, which had the effect of putting him in that high good humour which subsequent events somewhat untowardly damped. It ran as follows. Its shortness will be its sufficient apology.
My dear Sir,
I wish you every success. I don’t know that I can help you, but if I can, I will.
Yours ever,
T. T.
30/9/185––
There was more in this than in all Sir Nicholas Fitzwhiggin’s flummery; more than in all the bishop’s promises, even had they been ever so sincere; more than in any archbishop’s good word, even had it been possible to obtain it. Tom Towers would do for him what he could.