The Greatest Works of Arthur Cheney Train (Illustrated Edition). Arthur Cheney Train. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: Arthur Cheney Train
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isbn: 9788027226214
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another paper.

      "I think, madam," he answered soothingly, "that it's a summons for allowing the house man to use the hose on the sidewalk after eight A.M. Roony just brought it."

      "H'm!" remarked Mr. Pumpelly. "Don't lead him to it again!"

      "But I wouldn't have disturbed you if it hadn't been for a young gentleman who 'as called with another one regardin' the window boxes."

      "What about window boxes?" moaned Mrs. Pumpelly.

      "'E says," explained Simmons, "'e 'as a summons for you regardin' the window boxes, but that if you'd care to speak to him perhaps the matter might be adjusted—"

      "Let's see the summons!" exclaimed Wilfred, coming to life.

      "'To Edna Pumpelly,'" he read.

      "They're gettin' more polite," she commented ironically.

      "'For violating Section Two Hundred and Fifty of Article Eighteen of Chapter Twenty-three in that you did place, keep and maintain upon a certain window sill of the premises now being occupied by you in the City of New York a window box for the cultivation or retention of flowers, shrubs, vines or other articles or things without the same being firmly protected by iron railings—'"

      "Heavens," ejaculated Mr. Pumpelly, "there'll be somebody here in a minute complaining that I don't use the right length of shaving stick."

      "I understand," remarked Mr. Edgerton, "that in a certain Western state they regulate the length of bed sheets!"

      "What's that for?" asked Edna with sudden interest.

      "About seeing this feller?" hurriedly continued Mr. Pumpelly. "Seems to me they've rather got you, Edna!"

      "But what's the use seein' him?" she asked. "I'm summoned, ain't I?"

      "Why not see the man?" advised Mr. Edgerton, gladly seizing this possibility of a diversion. "It cannot do any harm."

      "What is his name?"

      "Mr. Bonright Doon," answered Simmons encouragingly. "And he is a very pleasant-spoken young man."

      "Very well," yielded Mrs. Pumpelly.

      Two minutes later, "Mr. Doon!" announced Simmons.

      Though the friends of Tutt & Tutt have made the acquaintance of Bonnie Doon only casually, they yet have seen enough of him to realize that he is an up-and-coming sort of young person with an elastic conscience and an ingratiating smile. Indeed the Pumpellys were rather taken with his breezy "Well, here we all are again!" manner as well as impressed by the fact that he was arrayed in immaculate evening costume.

      "I represent Mr. Ephraim Tutt, who has been retained by your neighbor, Mrs. Rutherford Wells, in connection with the summons which you caused to be issued against her yesterday," he announced pleasantly by way of introduction. "Mrs. Wells, you see, was a little annoyed by being referred to in the papers as Jane when her proper name is Beatrix. Besides, she felt that the offense charged against her was—so to speak—rather trifling. However—be that as it may—she and her friends in the block are not inclined to be severe with you if you are disposed to let the matter drop."

      "Inclined to be severe with me!" ejaculated Mrs. Pumpelly, bristling.

      "Edna!" cautioned her husband. "Mr. Doon is not responsible."

      "Exactly. I find after a somewhat casual investigation that you have been consistently violating a large number of city ordinances—keeping parrots, beating rugs, allowing unmuzzled dogs at large, overfilling your garbage cans, disregarding the speed laws and traffic regulations, using improperly secured window boxes—"

      "Anything else?" inquired Pierpont jocularly. "Don't mind us."

      Bonnie carelessly removed from the pocket of his dress coat a sheaf of papers.

      "One for neglecting to have your chauffeur display his metal badge on the outside of his coat—Section Ninety-four of Article Eight of Chapter Fourteen.

      "One for allowing your drop awnings to extend more than six feet from the house line—Section Forty-two of Article Five of Chapter Twenty-two.

      "One for failing to keep your curbstone at a proper level—Section One Hundred and Sixty-four of Article Fourteen of Chapter Twenty-three.

      "One for maintaining an ornamental projection on your house—a statue, I believe, of the Goddess Venus—to project more than five feet beyond the building line—Section One Hundred and Eighty-one of Article Fifteen of Chapter Twenty-three.

      "One for having your area gate open outwardly instead of inwardly—Section One Hundred and Sixty-four of Article Fourteen of Chapter Twenty-three.

      "And one for failing to affix to the fanlight or door the street number of your house—Section One Hundred and Ten of Article Ten of Chapter Twenty-three.

      "I dare say there are others."

      "I'd trust you to find 'em!" agreed Mr. Pumpelly. "Now what's your proposition? What does it cost?"

      "It doesn't cost anything at all! Drop your proceedings and we'll drop ours," answered Bonnie genially.

      "What do you say, Edgerton?" said Pumpelly, turning to the disgruntled Wilfred and for the first time in years assuming charge of his own domestic affairs.

      "I should say that it was an excellent compromise!" answered the lawyer soulfully. "There's something in the Bible, isn't there, about pulling the mote out of your own eye before attempting to remove the beam from anybody's else?"

      "I believe there is," assented Bonnie politely. "'You're another' certainly isn't a statutory legal plea, but as a practical defense—"

      "Tit for tat!" said Mr. Edgerton playfully. "Ha, ha! Ha!"

      "Ha, ha! Ha!" mocked Mrs. Pumpelly, her nose high in air. "A lot of good you did me!"

      "By the way, young man," asked Mr. Pumpelly, "whom do you say you represent?"

      "Tutt & Tutt," cooed Bonnie, instantly flashing one of the firm's cards.

      "Thanks," said Pumpelly, putting it carefully into his pocket. "I may need you sometime—perhaps even sooner. Now, if by any chance you'd care for a highball—"

      "Lead me right to it!" sighed Bonnie ecstatically.

      "Me, too!" echoed Wilfred, to the great astonishment of those assembled.

      Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

       Table of Contents

      "For twelve honest men have decided the cause,

       Who are judges alike of the fact and the laws."

       —The Honest Jury.

      "Lastly," says Stevenson in his Letter to a Young Gentleman Who Proposes to Embrace the Career of Art, "we come to those vocations which are at once decisive and precise; to the men who are born with the love of pigments, the passion of drawing, the gift of music, or the impulse to create with words, just as other and perhaps the same men are born with the love of hunting, or the sea, or horses, or the turning lathe. These are predestined; if a man love the labor of any trade, apart from any question of success or fame, the gods have called him."

      Had anybody told Danny Lowry that the gods had called him he would have stigmatized his informant as a liar—yet they had. For apart from any question of success or fame he had loved horses from the day when as a baby he had first sprawled in the straw of his Uncle Mike Aherne's livery and hitching stable in Dublin City. He had grown up to the scrape and whiffle of the currycomb, breathing ammonia, cracking the skin of his infantile knuckles with harness soap. Out of the love that he bore for the beautiful dumb brutes grew an understanding that in time became almost uncanny. All the jockeys and hostlers said there was magic in the lad's hands. He could ride anything on hoofs with a slack rein; and the worst biter in the stable would take a bridle from