“After all, he isn’t hers any more, — he’s mine, mine only and mine always. I should like to know if all I have done for him doesn’t make him so!” It was in this manner that Amanda Pynsent delivered herself, while she plied her needle, faster than ever, in a piece of stuff that was pinned to her knee.
Mr. Vetch watched her awhile, blowing silently at his pipe, with his head thrown back on the high, stiff, old-fashioned sofa, and his little legs crossed under him like a Turk’s. “It’s true you have done a good deal for him. You are a good little woman, my dear Pinnie, after all.” He said “after all,” because that was a part of his tone. In reality he had never had a moment’s doubt that she was the best little woman in the north of London.
“I have done what I could, and I don’t want no fuss made about it. Only it does make a difference when you come to look at it — about taking him off to see another woman. And such another woman — and in such a place! I think it’s hardly right to take an innocent child.”
“I don’t know about that; there are people that would tell you it would do him good. If he didn’t like the place as a child, he would take more care to keep out of it later.”
“Lord, Mr. Vetch, how can you think? And him such a perfect little gentleman!” Miss Pynsent cried.
“Is it you that have made him one?” the fiddler asked. “It doesn’t run in the family, you ‘d say.”
“Family? what do you know about that?” she replied, quickly, catching at her dearest, her only hobby.
“Yes, indeed, what does any one know? what did she know herself?” And then Miss Pynsent’s visitor added, irrelevantly, “Why should you have taken him on your back? Why did you want to be so good? No one else thinks it necessary.”
“I didn’t want to be good. That is, I do want to, of course, in a general way: but that wasn’t the reason then. But I had nothing of my own, — I had nothing in the world but my thimble.”
“That would have seemed to most people a reason for not adopting a prostitute’s bastard.”
“Well, I went to see him at the place where he was (just where she had left him, with the woman of the house), and I saw what kind of a shop that was, and felt it was a shame an innocent child should grow up in such a place.” Miss Pynsent defended herself as earnestly as if her inconsistency had been of a criminal cast. “And he wouldn’t have grown up, neither. They wouldn’t have troubled themselves long with a helpless baby. They ‘d have played some trick on him, if it was only to send him to the workhouse. Besides, I always was fond of small creatures, and I have been fond of this one,” she went on, speaking as if with a consciousness, on her own part, of almost heroic proportions.
“He was in my way the first two or three years, and it was a good deal of a pull to look after the business and him together. But now he’s like the business — he seems to go of himself.”
“Oh, if he flourishes as the business flourishes, you can just enjoy your peace of mind,” said the fiddler, still with his manner of making a small dry joke of everything.
“That’s all very well, but it doesn’t close my eyes to that poor woman lying there and moaning just for the touch of his little and before she passes away. Mrs. Bowerbank says she believes I will bring him.”
“Who believes? Mrs. Bowerbank?”
“I wonder if there’s anything in life fearful enough for you to take it seriously,” Miss Pynsent rejoined, snapping off a thread, with temper. “The day you stop laughing I should like to be there.”
“So long as you are there, I shall never stop. What is it you want me to advise you? to take the child, or to leave the mother to groan herself out?”
“I want you to tell me whether he’ll curse me when he grows older.”
“That depends upon what you do. However, he will probably do it in either case.”
“You don’t believe that, because you like him,” said Amanda, with acuteness.
“Precisely; and he’ll curse me too. He’ll curse every one. He won’t be happy.”
“I don’t know how you think I bring him up,” the little dressmaker remarked, with dignity.
“You don’t bring him up; he brings you up.”
“That’s what you have always said; but you don’t know. If you mean that he does as he likes, then he ought to be happy. It ain’t kind of you to say he won’t be,” Miss Pynsent added, reproachfully.
“I would say anything you like, if what I say would help the matter. He’s a thin-skinned, morbid, mooning little beggar, with a good deal of imagination and not much perseverance, who will expect a good deal more of life than he will find in it. That’s why he won’t be happy.”
Miss Pynsent listened to this description of her protege with an appearance of