If you puncture the other fellow's ego and would his estimate of himself, you cannot gain his good will. Recognize that every man wants to be loved and appreciated, and made to feel important in the world. Realize that the other man is conscious of his true worth, and that, like yourself, he feels the dignity of being an expression of the One Life-Principle animating all men. As you do this consciously and knowingly, you build the other person up, and he returns your love and good will.
He Hated Audiences
An actor told me that the audience booed and hissed him on his first appearance on the stage. He added that the play was badly written and that undoubtedly he did not play a good role. He admitted openly to me that for months afterward he hated audiences. He called them dopes, dummies, stupid, ignorant, gullible, etc. He quit the stage in disgust and went to work in a drugstore for a year.
One day a friend invited him to hear a lecture in Town Hall, New York City, on “How to Get Along With Ourselves.” This lecture changed his life. He went back to the stage and began to pray sincerely for the audience and himself. He poured out love and good will every night before appearing on the stage. He made it a habit to claim that the peace of God filled the hearts of all present, and that all present were lifted up and inspired. During each performance he sent out love vibrations to the audience. Today, he is a great actor, and he loves and respects people. His good will and esteem are transmitted to others and are felt by them.
Handling Difficult People
There are difficult people in the world who are twisted and distorted mentally. They are malconditioned. Many are mental delinquents, argumentative, uncooperative, cantankerous, cynical and sour on life. They are sick psychologically. Many people have deformed and distorted minds, probably warped during childhood. Many have congenital deformities. You would not condemn a person who had tuberculosis, nor should you condemn a person who is mentally ill. No one, for example, hates or resents a hunchback; there are many mental hunchbacks. You should have compassion and understanding. To understand all is to forgive all.
Misery Loves Company
The hateful, frustrated, distorted and twisted personality is out of tune with the infinite. He resents those who are peaceful, happy and joyous. Usually he criticizes, condemns and vilifies those who have been very good and kind to him. His attitude is this: Why should they be so happy when he is so miserable? He wants to drag them down to his own level. Misery loves company. When you understand this you remain unmoved, calm and dispassionate.
The Practice Of Empathy In Human Relations
A girl visited me recently stating that she hated another girl in her office. She gave her reason that the other girl was prettier, happier and wealthier than she, and, in addition, was engaged to the boss of the company where they worked. One day after the marriage had taken place, the crippled daughter (by a former marriage) of the woman whom she hated came into the office. The child put her arms around her mother and said, “Mommy, mommy, I love my new daddy! Look what he gave me!” She showed her mother a wonderful new toy.
She said to me, “My heart went out to that little girl, and I knew how happy she must feel. I got a vision of how happy this woman was. All of a sudden I felt love for her, and I went into the office wished her all the happiness in the world, and I meant it.”
In psychological circles today, this is called empathy which simply means the imaginative projection of your mental attitude into that of another. She projected her mental mood or the feeling of her heart into that of the other woman, and began to think and look out through the other woman's brain. She was actually thinking and feeling as the other woman, and also as the child, because she likewise had projected herself into the mind of the child. She was looking out from that vantage point on the child's mother.
If tempted to injure of think ill of another, project yourself mentally into the mind of Moses and think from the standpoint of the Ten Commandments. If you are prone to be envious, jealous or angry, project yourself into the mind of Jesus and think from that standpoint, and you will feel the truth of the words Love ye one another.
Appeasement Never Wins
Do not permit people to take advantage of you and gain the point by temper tantrums, crying jags or so-called heart attacks. These people are dictators who try to enslave you and make you do their bidding. Be firm but kind, and refuse to yield. Appeasement never wins. Refuse to contribute to their delinquency, selfishness and possessiveness. Remember, do that which is right. You are here to fulfill your ideal and remain true to the eternal verities and spiritual values of life which are eternal.
Give no one in all the world the power to deflect you from your goal, your aim in life which is to express your hidden talents to the world, to serve humanity, and to reveal more and more of God's wisdom, truth and beauty to all people in the world. Remain true to your ideal. Know definitely and absolutely that whatever contributes to your peace, happiness and fulfillment must of necessity bless all men who walk the earth. The harmony of the part is the harmony of the whole, for the whole is in the part, and the part is in the whole. All you owe the other, as Paul says, is love, and love is the fulfilling of the law of health, happiness and peace of mind.
Profitable Pointers in Human Relations
1. Your subconscious mind is a recording machine which reproduces your habitual thinking. Think good of the other, and you are actually thinking good about yourself.
2. A hateful or resentful thought is a mental poison. Do not think ill of another for to do so is to think ill of yourself. You are the only thinker in your universe, and your thoughts are creative.
3. Your mind is a creative medium; therefore, what you think and feel about the other, you are bringing to pass in your own experience. This is the psychological meaning of the Golden Rule. As you that man should think about you, think you about them in the same manner.
4. To cheat, rob, or defraud another brings lack, loss and limitation to yourself. Your subconscious mind records your inner motivations, thoughts and feelings. These being of a negative nature, loss, limitation and trouble come to you in countless ways. Actually, what yo do to the other, you are doing to yourself.
5. The good you do, the kindness proffered, the love and good will you send forth, will all come back to you multiplied in many ways.
6. You are the only thinker in your world. You are responsible for the way you think about the other. Remember, the other person is not responsible for the way you think about him. Your thoughts are reproduced. What are you thinking about the other fellow?
7. Become emotionally mature and permit other people to differ from you. They have a perfect right to disagree with you, and you have the same freedom to disagree with them. You can disagree without being disagreeable.
8. Animals pick up your fear vibrations and snap at you. If you love animals, they will never attack you. Many undisciplined human beings are just as sensitive as dogs, cats and other animals.
9. Your inner speech, representing your silent thoughts and feelings, is experienced in the reactions of others toward you.
10. Wish for the other what you wish for yourself. This is the key to harmonious human relations.
11. Change your concept and estimate of your employer. Feel and know he is practicing the Golden rule and the Law of Love, and he will respond accordingly.
12. The other person cannot annoy you or irritate you except you permit him. Your thought is creative; you can bless him. If someone calls you a skunk, you have the freedom to say to the other, “God's peace fills your soul.”
13. Love is the answer to