Not to mention the fact that he was a policeman and there was no way a constable could even entertain the idea of romance with a woman like me. No way at all. I shook my head vigorously.
‘No,’ I said. ‘I am committed to the cause.’
‘Some men are allies to the cause,’ Agnes pointed out. ‘My John, for one.’
‘Your John is a treasure. But he is far from the norm.’
I wondered if it was possible that PC Fairbanks could be a secret supporter of women’s suffrage. Perhaps. He seemed to be such a nice chap. Surely he would be able to see the reason behind our arguments? Though that didn’t mean he could suddenly start spending time with suffragettes.
‘Anyway, whether he is an ally or not, I have no time for male attention.’
‘Really?’ Agnes said, disappointed.
I was firm. ‘Really.’
2019
I knew that telling the staff that the council intended to close Elm Heath Primary would be terrible. I thought it would be one of the worst things I’d ever had to do.
When the shit hit the fan in Clapham it had been bad, but at the start I’d been absolutely certain that it was all a big mistake and that Grant would never have done the things they said he’d done.
Of course, I’d been wrong, which had made the whole thing even worse, but I didn’t know that at the beginning, even if I started to have some niggling doubts later on.
But the way I’d felt that day when Grant told me he’d been suspended while they investigated some “inconsistencies”’ was nothing compared to the way I felt just imagining the expressions on the faces of the Elm Heath staff.
And so, I decided not to tell them.
‘They’ll just start looking for another job,’ I reasoned with myself. ‘Or they’ll blame me and make things difficult. It’s better if they don’t know yet.’
Instead, at the end of the school day, I took Paula into my office and shut the door on Emma, who was pretending to be absorbed in putting her coat on and absolutely not listening to what we were saying.
‘What’s all this?’ Paula said, looking alarmed. ‘Bad news?’
‘The worst.’
The colour drained from her face and she sat down heavily, looking like the air had been knocked out of her.
‘They’re closing Elm Heath?’
I nodded.
‘I never thought they’d actually do it.’
‘It’s not definite yet.’ I was eager to reassure her, because I couldn’t bear to see how bereft she looked. ‘That’s why I’m only telling you for now – not everyone else.’
She shrugged. ‘What can we do? I know how these things work – once a decision has been made, it’s made.’
‘Not necessarily,’ I said, but my protests sounded weak to my own ears. ‘I spoke to Denise Deacon at the council and she said it wasn’t signed off yet. It’s not official.’
Paula looked up at me, a tiny glimmer of hope in her eyes. ‘What exactly did she say?’
I thought for a moment. ‘She said it was a shame and she wished the school could stay open. I got the impression she’s on our side, thought she couldn’t really say so outright.’
Paula nodded. ‘And?’
‘She said we had to be creative and prove that Elm Heath was a vital part of the community, or that it was of special interest. We’ve got some time – and I’ve had a few ideas.’
‘Hit me,’ Paula said.
I found my scribbled notes and took her through what I’d come up with so far and she listened intently, her mind obviously racing with her own ideas.
‘My friend Joanna is a personal trainer,’ she said. ‘I bet she knows loads of fitness instructors who might want to use the hall. I’ll put the word out. If we’re smart we could get someone hiring it every evening and that will definitely help the budget.’
I nodded, pleased she’d got on board so fast.
‘And I absolutely love the idea of bringing the kids and the elderly people together.’
‘I don’t think that will be a money-making idea really but it will prove we’re important in the community, which is also part of the plan.’
‘And the after-school club will do both,’ Paula said triumphantly.
‘I hope so. I’m surprised you don’t do one already.’
She grimaced. ‘Like I said, we got a bit stuck in our ways. We’d need someone to run it though.’
‘I had an idea about that, too.’
‘You’re on fire today.’
I grinned. ‘What about Sophie Albert?’
Paula clapped her hands. ‘That’s a fabulous idea. She knows all the kids anyway, and she’s got her DBS checks because she’s often helping out at school things.’ She thought for a moment. ‘And I think I’d ask Celeste to coordinate from our side. She’s very organised and she is keen to have a new challenge. Might encourage her to stay.’
‘Great,’ I said. ‘That’s sorted then. I’ll chat to Celeste and Sophie. Could you and Pippa take on the afternoon teas for the elderly people? Maybe speak to some daycentres or whatever? If they work well with the little children, we can extend it to the older ones.’
‘On it,’ Paula said.
I ran my fingers through my hair. ‘I just hope it works,’ I said. ‘Denise seemed to think it was a start rather than a solution. She sounded quite downbeat about it all.’
‘I really believed that once we had you at the helm we’d be fine,’ Paula said, almost to herself.
‘I did worry that this was because of me. That the axe is falling while I’m here, because of what happened,’ I admitted out loud for the first time, my mood going from positive to negative in record speed.
‘At your old school you mean?’
I nodded.
‘Absolute rubbish,’ Paula said firmly. ‘They were fully up to speed with everything that happened when they offered you the job.’
‘I s’pose,’ I muttered.
Paula fixed me with the stern glare that made unruly children quake. ‘You need to stop feeling guilty about something you didn’t do.’
‘I s’pose,’ I muttered again.
There was a pause. I played with the edge of the desk, wondering what to say next.
‘What did you mean when you said interest?’ Paula said.
‘Pardon me?’
‘You said we had to prove the school was of special interest. What kind of interest?’
‘Well, Denise suggested historical, because I mentioned how old it was,’ I said. ‘But anything I suppose.’
‘Right,’ Paula said, fire in her eyes.
‘Do