Lauren flew home in absolute fury with Joel. She snapped at the children, who trotted by her side like such frightened little mice till she got them home and hugged them, she felt terrible. It wasn’t their fault Joel could be such an insensitive sod. Lauren felt immensely guilty that she’d taken her bad mood out on the twins, and made it up to them by giving them a cookie each. Lauren wasn’t sure what had annoyed her most, the casual way Joel had let her make everyone lunch, the fact that he’d assumed she’d be able to drop everything to stay and help him out, or the way that Joel and Kezzie made her feel so left out.
‘Serves you right for being such a soft touch,’ she murmured. This was the problem of course. She did have a soft spot for Joel. Partly because of Claire – Lauren felt she should help him for her friend’s sake – partly because of the situation he was in, and partly because it was impossible to stay cross with Joel for long. So by the time Lauren had walked the girls to her mum’s, had a moan about Joel and got home again, she was feeling better. She decided that what she needed was to chill out before work and banish all thoughts of Joel and Sam from her mind. She walked back home fantasizing about a nice hot soak in the bathtub.
But as she got home, all her previous irritations paled into insignificance. She approached the house and to her surprise saw someone was waiting on the doorstep. As she drew closer, she saw to her horror it wasn’t just anyone – Troy was lounging nonchalantly on her doorstep, smoking a roll-up. Her heart thudded in her chest and she felt slightly sick as she took in his sensuous good looks, the piercing blue eyes, the mane of slightly dishevelled hair, and incredibly sexy, unshaven look. She had forgotten just how good looking he was.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’ she said. ‘I didn’t say I wanted to see you.’
‘Well, that’s a nice greeting.’ Troy got up laconically, stretching his long limbs in a languorous sensual movement. He’d always reminded her of a predator – a lion perhaps – and she recognized that look in his eye. Bastard thought it would be a cinch. He was still so sure of his power over her.
‘Troy, I haven’t seen you in over two years,’ she said. ‘You’ve only seen your children once since they were born, and never paid me any maintenance. Why should I give you a nice greeting?’
‘Because you know, despite it all, you and me are made for each other.’
He leant over to touch her cheek, but she pushed him away, her heart pounding with a combination of anger and attraction. The knowledge that the attraction was there made her angrier than ever.
‘When did you have this revelation? The last time I saw you, I seem to remember you saying you were a free spirit, made to wander, not cut out for domestic life.’
‘Yeah, well. I may have got that a bit wrong,’ said Troy.
‘Latest floozy kicked you out?’ said Lauren. ‘Think I’ve been there before.’
‘There isn’t a latest floozy,’ said Troy. ‘I’ve just been through some stuff lately that’s got me thinking. I realize I’ve not been a good dad—’
‘You’ve not been a dad at all,’ snorted Lauren.
‘—and I’ve treated you badly. But I would like to get to know the girls properly. And you know I’ve always had feelings for you. I still do.’
‘Stop!’ said Lauren. ‘You don’t get to wander back into my life, declaring undying love and move straight back in again. You just don’t. And while I’m delighted you’re at last showing an interest in your daughters, they’re older now. I want you to have a proper relationship with them. You can’t wander in and out at will. You’ve got to be here for the duration.’
‘I can be,’ said Troy. ‘I want to be. Can I see them?’
‘They’re not here,’ said Lauren. ‘They’re at Mum’s for the night. And I have to go to work now, so please just go.’
‘Please, don’t shut me out of their lives,’ said Troy. He looked so woebegone, she softened. Damn his beautiful blue eyes. They were her Achilles’ heel. ‘I really do mean it this time.’
Lauren sighed. After her irritating morning at Joel’s, Troy was the last thing she wanted to be dealing with.
‘Why?’ she said. ‘Why are you here, after all this time? And how can I possibly trust you?’
For the first time Troy looked slightly less sure of himself.
‘There’s been some stuff going on in my personal life,’ he mumbled.
‘Stuff? What stuff?’ To Lauren’s knowledge Troy didn’t ‘do’ personal problems.
‘It’s to do with my dad,’ said Troy, in a manner that suggested every word he was saying was torture. Which for him, it probably was. Troy’s dad was among a number of subjects that Lauren had quickly discovered were taboo. For him to even mention his dad must mean something was up. Lauren took a deep breath. Perhaps she should give him a chance, but she wasn’t going to make it easy for him.
‘What about your dad?’ she said.
‘He’s – he’s been in touch,’ said Troy. ‘He’s not well at all, and wanted to meet me. I’ve been to see him, but it’s too late. He’s done nothing for me my whole life, I just don’t want to know now. And it made me realize what I’m missing. Please. I really do mean it; I would like to see the girls.’
He looked at her so plaintively she felt like slapping him. Arrogant Troy was far more attractive than this pleading version.
‘OK. I’ll think about it,’ said Lauren. ‘I would like the girls to know their dad, but if you let them down I’ll crucify you – understand?’
‘Got it,’ Troy said. ‘But this time I promise I won’t.’
Kezzie spent the afternoon poring over some of the letters and diaries that she and Joel had found. It was fascinating stuff, full of the minutiae of other people’s lives. She’d been particularly taken with the letters Edward had written Lily when he was abroad in India. Astonishing to think of the journeys they’d made in those days, and all so Edward could collect exotic plants – apparently there was at least one rhododendron at Kew named after him. Kezzie had also been excited to discover a black and white photo in one of the piles of letters. It was obviously out of place, as it was dated 1905 and pictured the original opening of the Memorial Gardens, when it was still known as Heartsease Public Gardens. Edward and Lily were standing in front of the garden’s iron gates in the middle of a group of people, looking very stiff and formal, but maybe that was just the way photographs were done in those days. All the women wore light summer dresses with high lace collars and trim waistlines, and the men were in suits. Although the print was faded, it looked as though they were all squinting, so presumably it had been a sunny day. Kezzie liked the fact that Edward had done something for his community, it made her feel connected to him in some small way. She was beginning to feel connected in Heartsease, too.
When Kezzie had first moved in to Jo’s cottage, she’d imagined she’d be bored rigid living in the country. Flick would have laughed in her face had she known, but to her surprise, despite missing her friends in town, Kezzie was slowly getting used to village life, and being here was certainly making her feel more rational about the whole Richard situation. Yes, she’d been an idiot. He’d been right to be angry with her, she could see that now, where before she’d thought he was overreacting. But he had been cruel. When she’d tried to make it up to him, Richard had reacted in such a coldly furious way that Kezzie had felt almost as though she didn’t know him. But then she thought back to his teasing comments in their early days together about her being a ‘Greenham’ and a dropout, when she’d thought he could be quite priggish and fuddy duddy. Kezzie had always felt their differences had made their relationship stronger, but perhaps she’d been wrong about that. Maybe they were just too different, and her actions had just highlighted the fact that they should never have been together in the first place.
Kezzie