“Have you figured out your roommate issue?”
“I wish,” I said, biting into my chocolate croissant. Hunter was the kind of person who made me need chocolate therapy. “It’s really complicated.”
“Things with the opposite sex usually are.”
“How’s everything working out for you?”
She lifted one shoulder. “Jake’s my soul mate. I know that. Sounds cheesy, but I know that we’re not complete without each other. So I put up with his disgusting friends and their endless Family Guy marathons because I love him. Someday we’ll move in with just the two of us, and I’ll be able to have a clean bathroom. Someday…”
We finished eating, and I walked Megan to her car.
“Girls night this weekend? I think the guys are going to a party, so the house will be free. I’ll make margaritas,” she said in a singsong voice. “Come on, please? I’m inviting Haley and Robin, too.” They were two other girls from our major that we’d formed a little group with. They’d be the perfect antidote to too much Hunter.
“Sure, it’s on. Just text me when would be a good time. You want me to bring anything?”
“Every single girlie movie you own.”
“Done,” I said.
She squealed and gave me a hug before hopping in her car.
It was still light out, so I didn’t have to worry too much about walking by myself. I said goodbye to her and reluctantly walked back to the apartment. I kept my fingers crossed the entire way that Hunter would be gone or at least one of the girls would be there as a buffer.
I took a deep breath before I opened the door.
“Hey, where have you been?” Renee said, looking up from one of her massive nursing textbooks. The television was blaring; I didn’t know how she could focus.
“Had dinner with Megan. Where’s everyone else?”
“Hunter went somewhere, and Miss Darah is on a date with Mase, if you can believe it.”
“No way,” I said, joining her on the couch. “I thought I saw something there, but I didn’t know he’d move that fast.” College was a strange situation. Things always seemed to happen at warp speed.
“Me neither, but it was really cute. I think she really likes him.”
“I have a really hard time picturing them together, but if he makes her happy, then that’s what matters.”
“Well, she hasn’t even come home yet, so we can reserve judgment until then.”
“If she does come home,” I said, raising my eyebrows.
“You know she’s not that kind of girl.”
I did, but I never underestimated anyone when it came to that.
“I’m bored. I don’t think I can do any more reading. You want to do something?” She closed her book.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Mall?”
I wasn’t much for shopping, but if we got to go to the bookstore, I was in. Also, it would get us out of the apartment in case Hunter came back from whatever he was doing. I only had a tiny temptation to text him, but quickly squashed it. I was staying away from him until I could get rid of him.
“Sounds good, just let me grab some cash.” I ran into my room to grab some money from the jar I kept in my desk. I had to leave my debit card at home when I went into a bookstore or else I would drain my account. I was about to leave when I saw something on my pillow. Curious, I picked it up.
This is me giving you space. See? We can live together without living together. You still haven’t given me an answer about that bet. All you have to do is prove one way or another and I’m gone. The ball’s in your court, Missy.
I crumpled the note in my fist. He knew what I was trying to do, and that infuriated me. I didn’t like him knowing what I was thinking, since I almost never knew what was running through his head. I shoved the note in my desk and slammed it shut.
“So what is with you and Hunter? I know you’ve got this weird I-hate-you-but-I’m-really-attracted-to-you thing going on, but could you, like, tone it down?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, please. You guys eye-fuck each other every second you can. It’s disgusting, really.”
I hopped into the passenger’s seat of Renee’s Mazda.
“We don’t do that.” We totally did, but it was Hunter’s fault. “I don’t mean to anyway. He definitely does.”
“That’s what attraction is. That uncontrollable urge to jump someone’s bones, even in mixed company. You guys haven’t…” She didn’t need to finish.
“Oh, God, no! I’m not that kind of girl, either.”
I had never told Darah or Renee that I was a virgin. The only person who knew about that was Megan, and that was because we were so close, and I knew I could trust her with something like that. I’d trusted her with a much bigger secret.
“Never say never, doll. Did I ever tell you how Paul and I met?” I knew they’d only met about a year ago, but had gotten serious, fast. “I was wasted at a party, and this guy was trying to take me home. I don’t really remember this, but Paul shoved him off me and asked me where I lived. I somehow managed to tell him, and he got me into a cab and helped me back to my room. Darah was gone for the weekend, so I was all alone. He stayed with me the whole night and took care of me. I puked my guts out, and he held my hair and everything. You’d think he’d never want to see me after that, but he ended up staying the whole day. When I sobered up I realized that he was pretty damn special. And I think you can figure the rest out. So, never knock sex early in a relationship. I mean, it didn’t work out with us, but it was great while it lasted.”
Her voice was filled with longing. I knew she missed him, but she refused to take his calls or answer his texts. I didn’t even know why they had broken up, but she insinuated it was something he had done. I asked her if he’d cheated on her, but she said it wasn’t that. Darah and I had racked our brains, but we hadn’t figured it out. We’d been tempted to ask Paul but didn’t want to go behind Renee’s back.
I’d never really had a boyfriend. I’d had too many public angry episodes for the boys I’d grown up with to even consider wanting to date me. In eighth grade when the other girls were having their first boyfriends and getting kissed, I had a mouthful of metal braces and a bad attitude. When I got older and other girls were getting serious and hooking up and so forth, I spent my time reading and glaring at any boy who gave me the once-over. Soon my reputation as an ice queen became well-known enough that the boys left me alone, which was how I wanted it.
I’d never been around anyone who challenged me and fought me on everything until I’d met Hunter. He scared me in a way, and I’d never been scared of a boy before. That was why I had to get rid of him.
Maybe I could take his bet. I hadn’t been able to make him see that I hated him, because I didn’t. I hated him at times, but my other feelings for him seeped through, clouding the hate into a murky substance that I couldn’t define.
The other part of the bet? The making him believe I loved him? I couldn’t do that either. I’d shut off that part of myself when I was twelve, and there was no turning it on now after so many years. Hunter would see right through me if I tried to fake