‘I must … I have to …’ Her words are muffled as she sobs hard into my chest and all I can do is hold her for as long as it takes. Forever, hopefully. She is the love of my life and I know she won’t be leaving this building until we have worked out a way forward that doesn’t involve her returning to Xsade and walking back into the hands of that psychopath. Even if she hates me for it.
I’m not sure how long we’ve been entwined in each other’s arms on the lounge by the time Adam deposits two cups of green tea on the coffee table. The kids are squealing in delight in the pool with Robert, and poor Alexa looks like she has been put through an emotional wringer.
‘Hi, I’m Adam.’ He stretches out his hand to Alexa as a way of introduction. I feel a little guilty that this hasn’t already happened; it is his place, though these are unusual circumstances and I’m sure he’ll understand.
She quickly wipes her eyes, her natural politeness kicking in. ‘Hi, I’m Alexa. I’m so sorry about this mess.’
‘Not at all. Thanks for sharing your man with me,’ he responds with a cheeky wink. God, could this be any more awkward? Much to my surprise, his acknowledgement makes Alexa smile for the first time in ages.
‘My pleasure, Adam. I hope you are enjoying each other.’ She too, gives him a wink with her puffy, tear-stained eyes. This may not be too bad after all, what a relief.
‘Would you like me to show you to your room? I thought you might like to freshen up.’
‘That bad, hey? Jeez, what a first impression.’ She smiles weakly at him. What is it about gay men and their ability to connect with women? At least she is smiling, that’s more than I could achieve. I keep my arm around her as he shows us to our room.
‘How long are you expecting us to be here, Adam?’ Even in the state she is in, she doesn’t miss the opportunity to ask him, not me, in the hope of eliciting some answers.
‘That is entirely up to you, my friend.’ Good answer. He shows us to our suite and indicates the fresh towels. ‘Mi casa, su casa. Don’t rush, I’ll be out bonding with the kids.’ With those words he closes the door behind him and leaves us with our green tea, our luggage and each other.
She looks exhausted, overcome. ‘Please tell me, what are we doing here, Jeremy?’
‘I’m sorry you’re not happy about this, sweetheart, honestly I am.’ I smooth a few strands of hair away from her accusing eyes. She no longer has the resolve to keep me at a distance. ‘We need to make some informed decisions about what is best for you and your children and we can’t do that without Robert’s input.’
‘And Adam?’
‘It looks like he’s as much a part of his life as I am yours, my love.’
‘Great. Anyone else you think should be involved? Do you have my parents’ number?’ she adds sarcastically.
‘You know I wouldn’t do that without your knowledge, but there is someone else …’ I trail off, not knowing whether now is the best time to mention it.
‘Oh god, who?’
‘It looks like Moira has located Leo —’
‘Leo is coming here?’
‘Sometime in the next 24 hours.’
‘I don’t believe this!’
‘We are here to help, and we will get through this together.’ I go over to place my hands on her shoulders and this time she does have the energy to brush me off. This is not good.
‘I need some time alone, J, to thinks things through.’
‘We are all here to support you, Alex.’
She glares at me. ‘Support me in every way except in what I have decided. Yes, believe me, your support is loud and clear — everything on your terms.’
‘You’re not going to do anything rash, are you?’ I suddenly can’t keep the concern for her welfare from my voice.
‘Can I get out of this apartment without your assistance, or approval?’ she asks acerbically.
‘Well, no. Not unless you decided to abseil from the balcony.’
‘Exactly, just as I thought. Another ambush and I’m trapped. Again. Well then, no, I won’t do anything rash just yet. I need to think. I’m going to have a shower in an attempt to clear my head.’
I feel terrible. She has been hurled into the unknown one too many times since she met up with me. I’m not even sure how much more she can take. She’s strong, but the circumstances she has found herself in since our weekend together would be sure to break a weaker person.
‘Okay. Good.’ I try to remain calm but I’m not sure the panic I’m feeling on the inside is completely masked. If she were to do anything that involved self-harm … I can’t think like that! It must be old ghosts haunting me and bringing out past fears from being unable to save my own brother. But I know extreme circumstances can create irrational behaviour … No, she’s not like that, it’s not in her psyche. ‘Can I get you anything before I leave you alone?’ I ask gently, concern catching my voice.
‘Nothing just yet.’
Thank god, she finally softens and holds my hand, kissing the back of my hand to let me know there is still hope for us, even though there is pain.
‘Don’t take too long though. You know I start to twitch convulsively when I can’t lay my eyes on you.’
A tired laugh escapes her. I return a kiss on her hand and leave her in peace, at least for a little while.
I join the others poolside where Adam is entertaining the kids with some form of water volleyball. I kick off my loafers and join Robert, dangling my legs in the water.
‘How is she?’ he asks.
‘Pretty pissed off at me bringing her here, but I know she never holds a grudge for too long.’
‘Yes, thank god for that.’ We both laugh empty laughs, recognising our shared knowledge of Alexa’s personality.
‘How serious is it, Jeremy? How much danger is she in?’
‘I’m not going to lie to you, Robert, it’s very serious and she is in real danger. They seem to know our every move. We received another threat this morning before we came here.’
‘Shit, really? She’s not considering going, is she?’
‘She believes it’s the only way the kids will be safe. She’s not willing to risk anything when it comes to them.’
‘I can understand that. But they need their mother. I’m not willing for her to risk anything for that arsehole company.’
‘I know, that’s why I need your help to convince her that it’s not an option you’re willing to sanction on the kids’ behalf. Based on what we already know, the children are of no value to Xsade, only Alexa.’
‘Can’t she just send some of her blood to them and be done with it?’
‘I wish it were that simple. Unfortunately, having conducted their own experiments on her and having hacked into our systems they’re aware that, given certain scenarios, very specific hormones are released into her blood. So they need both her body and her blood to discover what we know.’ I decide not to mention any of the healing characteristics; the fewer people who know that the better.
‘Well, we just have to come up with another way. We need to keep her safe. Even though I’m not married to her any more, Jeremy, she still means the world to me and our kids. I couldn’t bear for anything to happen to her.’
‘I’m pleased to hear it. We just need to convince her of the same thing.’
‘You