‘I wasn’t really serious,’ Emmy said, her eyes wide. ‘There is something?’
‘Emmy, querida, it’s like the big white rhino in the room.’
‘Elephant.’
Adriana waved her hand. ‘Whatever. The big white elephant. You are almost thirty years old—’
‘Thank you for mentioning that yet again.’
‘—and you have only been with three men. Three! This is not to be believed, and yet it’s true.’
The girls quieted while Nicholas placed their shared appetizers on the table: an order of tuna tartare with avocado and a heaping plate of oysters. He appeared ready to take their order, but Emmy placed both hands atop her menu and glared. Defeated, he shuffled away.
‘You two are incredible. You sit here for twenty minutes telling me that I can’t be alone, and then you switch tacks – with no fair warning – and say that I haven’t dated enough people. Do you hear yourselves?’
Leigh squeezed a lemon wedge over the oysters and delicately removed one from its shell. ‘Not dated – slept with.’
‘Oh, come on! What’s the difference?’
Adriana gasped. ‘That, my darling friend, is exactly the problem. What’s the difference? Between dating and random sex? My goodness, we have much work to do.’
Emmy looked to Leigh for help but Leigh nodded in agreement. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I have to agree with Adriana. You’re a serial monogamist and as a result have only ever been with three people in any significant capacity. I think what Adi’s saying’ – she was able to sneak in a single use of the hated nickname here because Adriana was distracted on multiple fronts by food, drink, and sex conversation – ‘is that you should be single for a little while. And being single means dating different people, figuring out who and what work best for you, and, most of all, having a little fun.’
‘So what you’re really saying – let’s just be straight here – is that I should be whoring around more,’ Emmy said.
Leigh smiled like a proud parent. ‘Yes.’
‘And you?’ Emmy turned to Adriana, who clasped her hands together and leaned forward.
‘That is exactly what I am saying.’ Adriana nodded.
Emmy sighed and sat back in her chair. ‘I agree.’
At the same time, in nearly the same disbelieving tone, Leigh and Adriana asked, ‘You do?’
‘Of course. I’ve had some time to do a little self-examination, and I’ve arrived at the same conclusion. There’s only one logical way to proceed: I am going to have sex with random men. All sorts and sizes and colors of random men. All kinds of sex, for that matter.’ She paused and looked at Adriana. ‘The level of my planned whoredom will make you proud.’
Adriana gazed back and wondered if she had heard her friend correctly. She concluded that she had, but she must have missed the sarcasm somewhere along the line – this declaration was inconceivable. She said what she always did when she had no idea what else to say. ‘Fabulous, querida. Just fabulous. I adore the whole idea.’
Leigh used her knife to push a bit of tuna and a slice of cucumber onto the tip of her fork and elegantly brought it to her mouth. A quiet crunch, a couple of chews, and she swallowed. ‘Emmy, sweetheart. We were just kidding, you know. I think it’s great you haven’t been with a lot of guys. When someone asks you how many people you’ve slept with, you don’t even have to divide by three! Now, isn’t that nice? To not have to lie?’
‘I’m really not kidding about this,’ Emmy said. She made eye contact with the waiter as he passed by their table and ordered three glasses of champagne when he approached. ‘This is the start of my new life, and trust me, it’s long overdue. First thing I’m going to do on Monday is call up Chef Massey and tell him I’m accepting the job. What job? you might wonder. The one where they want to pay me boatloads of money and give me a huge expense account so I can travel all over the world and stay in the nicest hotels and eat in the best restaurants for inspiration. Inspiration! For new menu ideas. Have you ever heard of something so ridiculous? And who’s the fucking idiot who’s been saying no the last two months because she didn’t want to desert her poor, lonely boyfriend? Yours truly. Didn’t want poor baby Duncan to feel abandoned and unloved while I jetted off somewhere fabulous. So yes, this time I’m going to call him up and take that job, and then I’m going to fuck every single solitary appealing man I meet. Foreign, sexy, beautiful men. And I do mean every last one. How does that sound, girls? Acceptable?’ The waiter returned with their champagne. ‘So please, let’s toast.’
Adriana made a noise that for anyone less beautiful could only be called a snort but coming from her sounded exotic and feminine. Both girls turned to look and she suddenly felt out of sorts. Her friend had just announced plans for a major life change while she herself had been coasting effortlessly along the same path for years. Was Adriana’s role as the group’s jet-setting partyer in jeopardy, or had she just had one too many drinks? There was something unsettling about Emmy’s proclamation. And if there was one way Adriana was not accustomed to feeling, it was unsettled.
She held up her glass and forced a smile.
Emmy smiled back and said, ‘There’s just one condition. I want company.’
‘Company?’ Leigh asked. She gnawed her bottom lip, catching a flake of skin between her front teeth. She looked anxious. Adriana wondered why the girl always looked nervous these days, especially since everything was going so beautifully for her.
‘Yes. Company. I’m willing to completely slut out if you’ – Emmy pointed to Adriana – ‘agree to have a committed, monogamous relationship. With a man of your own choosing, of course.’
Adriana inhaled. She incorporated one of her favorite moves, which consisted of absentmindedly touching a fingertip to her lips, letting it rest there for a moment, and then graze along to the spot right below her left ear. It prompted four men at the adjoining table to stare and Nicholas to come running. She felt that familiar thrill of being watched.
The girls ordered main courses, another round of drinks, and a plate of the truffle mac and cheese to share.
‘So? What do you say?’ Emmy asked.
‘Did my mother put you up to this?’
‘Yes, sweetheart. It was all your mom’s idea for me to pledge to fall into bed with every man I meet over the course of the next year just so you’ll agree to date only one person. She’s a clever one,’ Emmy said.
‘Come on, people, let’s be serious for a minute,’ Leigh said. ‘Neither one of you will actually go through with this, so can we change the subject? Emmy, you made your point. If you want to dive headfirst into another five-year relationship, that’s certainly your prerogative. And Adriana, it’s more likely that you’ll become an astronaut than date only one man. Next topic.’
‘It’s not like I dared her to do something really drastic, like get a job …’ Emmy grinned.
Adriana forced a return smile even though she found it difficult to laugh at herself, especially when the jokes concerned her lack of employment. Her mother’s irritating voice reverberated in her head. ‘Wow. Playing hardball, are we, querida? Well, guess what? I accept your challenge.’
‘You what?’ Emmy asked, furiously twisting a lock of hair.
Leigh’s glass halted halfway to her mouth. ‘You’ll do it?’
‘I said I’ll do it. When do we start?’
Emmy bit off an asparagus end, chewed daintily, swallowed. ‘I say we take a little time to figure out the terms. By the end of next weekend, we’ll agree to have a plan?’
Adriana