‘Maybe it’s us who haven’t got a clue, Sean,’ Kate said quietly. ‘Maybe we’re the ones who’ve got it all wrong, wasting our lives knee-deep in life’s crap.’
‘Why, because we know the truth? Because we know life isn’t really a shiny advert?’ Sean argued. ‘I’d rather be awake and live in isolation than be like all those mugs out there, walking around without a fucking clue.’
Kate breathed in deeply and cleared her head. She’d dealt with this before and knew she’d have to deal with it again. ‘Is this about your childhood or about being a detective?’
‘Oh, come on, Kate. Let’s not get into that, not now,’ Sean answered.
‘Okay,’ Kate agreed. ‘But if you ever need to talk about it, I’m here.’
‘I’m tired, that’s all. I’m fine,’ Sean insisted. ‘I’m just very tired.’
‘Of course you’re tired,’ Kate agreed. ‘You haven’t slept more than three hours a night since this new one started. Look, I’m going to bed. Why don’t you come with me?’
‘I need a minute or two to unwind,’ Sean told her. ‘I’ll be there soon.’
‘Come now,’ Kate pleaded. ‘I’ll rub your shoulders while you fall asleep.’
‘I’ll be there in a few minutes – promise,’ he lied. The thought of tossing and turning, fighting the ever-present demons was unbearable.
‘Don’t be long,’ she said, turning from him.
He watched her move from the kitchen table and glide towards the stairs, once looking over her shoulder to smile at him, the harsh words of seconds ago forgotten, at least by her. Once she was out of sight, Sean reached for the bottle of bourbon and poured another generous measure.
Sally parked her car close to her flat. Sean had sent them all home. They might as well get a few hours’ sleep before Hellier turned up again, if he ever did. She searched for her front door keys buried deep in the bottom of her handbag. Breaking one of her own rules – never stand at the front door fumbling for house keys.
‘For God’s sake,’ she grumbled, losing her grip of her handbag and spilling the contents on to the ground. She stared at the disaster. ‘Fucking great.’
Sally knelt down and began to collect the debris. At least she’d found her keys. Something made her spin around. Still kneeling, she surveyed the area around her. Suddenly she couldn’t remember what had startled her. She gave a nervous laugh and gathered the rest of her belongings.
She stood and looked along the street. It was almost unnaturally quiet. The way only city streets could be in the night. Somewhere streets away a dog barked. The sound somehow made her feel better. She unlocked the communal front door, entered and closed it behind her. She pressed the light timer switch in the hallway, giving her thirty seconds of light before the darkness returned.
Hurriedly she climbed the stairs to her first-floor flat, again fumbling for her keys and cursing herself. Why was she nervous? Slow down. Put the key in the lock and turn it. The door opened. She almost fell in to the flat. She hadn’t realized she’d been leaning on the door so hard. Closing the door behind her, she threw the bolts across the bottom and top.
She disliked the harsher overhead lights, choosing instead to walk across the dark room she knew so well to the lamp in the far corner. She reached for the lamp switch, but something touched her hand. Material. Silk or nylon. She didn’t understand. She recoiled as if she’d touched a spider’s web, but curiosity overcame her fear. She moved her hand through the darkness to the lamp. Again the material. She pushed her hand through it, finding the switch and turning the lamp on. Light shone through the red silk neck scarf that was now draped over it. It had been a present to herself for Christmas. The room glowed red. This wasn’t right. A cool breeze brushed against her face. It came from the kitchen. That shouldn’t be. The window shouldn’t be open.
She felt him behind her. Close enough to hear him breathing. She almost fainted. Then she almost vomited. He was waiting for her to make her move. Like a snake lying within striking distance, but she was frozen. Fear controlled her.
Finally she forced her body to move, turning towards him, inching herself around, desperately trying to recall her self-defence training. Aim a knee for his groin. God help her if she missed. A knee in the groin and then run.
She forced herself to speak. ‘Please.’ Her voice was almost inaudible. ‘Please. You know what I am. Leave now and this won’t go any further. I promise.’ She was face to face with him. She almost fainted again. He stood above her. He was only about five foot ten, but he looked like a giant.
He wore a dark tracksuit and rubber gloves. A tight-knit woollen hat covered his hair. She could see every muscle in his body was tense, his arms rigid by his side. The red lighting made his teeth shine like rubies.
Sally studied his face. It was distorted by the light and his contorted muscles, but she could see him clearly. He was letting her see his face. She knew who he was. Knew he wasn’t going to let her live. She was going to die and nobody else in the world knew. She had so many things she wanted to do. Wanted to say to people, but now she was going to die.
He moved so quickly she hardly saw him. She had no time to react. A hand gripped around her neck, slowly crushing her throat. He was so strong. Was this how he would do it? Crush her throat. The other hand flashed a blade in front of her face. She thought she recognized it from her own kitchen. He pulled her so close she could see the fine wrinkles in his skin.
‘Make a sound you die. Struggle you die. Do as I say and you live.’
It was a lie. She wasn’t like the others. Clinging to the hope that he could be telling the truth, they’d have done anything for the chance to live. But she had seen his face. She knew he would never let her live. She nodded her head anyway.
‘Do you know how lucky you are to have been chosen?’ He spoke slowly through clenched teeth. He held the knife to her throat and released his grip.
‘I’ll do as you say. I promise,’ she pleaded.
He smiled and licked his lips. She felt the knife drop away from her throat slightly. Only a few millimetres. It would have to be enough.
Without warning she smashed her right fist as hard as she could into the underside of his jaw. The knife flashed across her throat, but she’d already leaned back. It slashed through the air. She brought her knee up into his groin. He began to bend double. She sprang for her front door. She would live.
The top of her head suddenly burned with pain. Her run jarred to a stop as her legs fell from under her. He gripped her by the hair, twisting it around his fist as he pulled her back. She could feel the tears stinging the back of her eyes. She had to scream.
She filled her lungs as he spun her in his grip to face him. She saw him make a quick move, his free arm jabbed towards her. The air in her lungs deserted her, yet she hadn’t screamed. She hadn’t been able to.
It felt like a punch, like having the wind knocked out of you. Nothing more than a dull ache in her chest. Her head was forcefully bent forward. He wanted her to see the knife buried to the hilt in the right side of her chest. He tugged the knife free. It didn’t come easily. Her chest muscles had gripped the foreign body, trying to stem the breach. She wheezed horribly. She could physically feel the air from her lung rushing out through the wound.
He pulled her closer. ‘Fucking bitch. Slut, bitch. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This is not as I saw it. This is not how it was supposed to be.’
Pushing her away, he held her at arm’s length. Another flash of his hand. She felt the same dull pain, but something else too. The knife had hit a rib. He pulled to free it, but it wouldn’t move. It was jammed