‘Would you like a glass of wine?’ she asked. Somehow she managed to turn off the TV, paused halfway through Criminal Minds. Where was the remote for Cici’s music system? Romantic music was what she needed.
‘No, I don’t want any wine, thanks,’ he said, and sat heavily on the single armchair.
Mara had thought he might sit on the couch, and she’d sink on to it beside him. Still. She smiled, picked up her wine glass and took a sip, while scanning around for the music remote. There it was. She scrolled through the remote to find something slow and romantic, Cici’s movie love themes. Perfect.
Then Mara sat down on the couch, curled her feet elegantly up around her and draped the silky dressing gown to what she hoped was its best effect. How many times had they curled up on this very couch, kissing languorously?
‘How have you been?’ she asked softly.
This was bound to be hard for him. She wanted to make it easier.
He said nothing, simply stared at her, which meant that Mara could stare right back and drink him in. His blond hair was ruffled up on one side, she noticed lovingly. He must have come straight from work; he was wearing a suit, the grey Italian one, the tie pulled askew. His face looked thinner and the blue eyes watched her carefully. She loved this man, Mara thought. Like nobody had ever loved before.
Coolness flew out the window.
‘I’ve missed you so much, Jack,’ she said quickly. ‘I thought I’d die without you. It’s a half-life, you see, without you.’
She got up and sat on the edge of his armchair, ready to sink into his arms when he said it. I love you, Mara. It’s all been a terrible mistake.
She reached out to touch his face but he grabbed her wrist suddenly, hurting her.
‘No,’ he said roughly.
He leapt out of the chair in his haste to get away and Mara stumbled back towards the couch.
With one hand, he pulled at his hair. He wasn’t looking at her now, but down, he was looking down at the floor.
‘I didn’t come here for this, Mara,’ he said.
Then he looked up at her face and Mara saw what she hadn’t allowed herself to see before: embarrassment.
‘I’m really sorry,’ he began again, still facing her. ‘This isn’t easy for me, but I have to do it because it’s my fault. You leaving could be seen legally as constructive dismissal. You know: you didn’t want to go, but the pain of seeing me with Tawhnee made you give in your notice. Six months down the road, you might decide to sue Kearney Property Partners, and I can’t let that happen. The business is in enough trouble as it is. We’d fold if we had an unfair dismissal court case.’
From inside the jacket pocket of the lovely Italian suit, he took some papers.
Unfolding them carefully, deliberately not meeting her eyes, Jack put the papers on the table.
‘You don’t have to sign now. You can get your lawyer to look them over—’
‘I don’t have a lawyer,’ whispered Mara as it all became clear to her.
He hadn’t come to tell her he loved her: he’d come to tie up all the loose ends so his business would be protected.
And she’d thrown herself at him, ignoring reality, convincing herself that he still loved her.
She pulled the silky robe tighter around her. It wasn’t an item of clothing designed to cover – it was made for revealing, but Mara no longer wanted to reveal herself to him. She tied the sash so tightly that it bit into her.
‘You should go,’ she said, her voice shaking.
‘Look, Mara, I never meant for it to end up like this,’ he began.
‘GO!’
Her raised voice startled both of them.
It seemed to do the trick. Jack gave her his helpless look, an expression she recognized from times when he hadn’t managed to sell a property. She wished she hated him. It would be easier.
But for the moment, she only hated herself.
‘You’ll look at the papers?’ he asked.
‘I might,’ she said evenly. ‘Now, go.’
Mara realized what a sensible plan it was for people not to be permitted to carry handguns, because if she had one, she would absolutely have shot Jack at that moment. She wasn’t sure where she would have shot him, but it would have been somewhere very, very painful.
She didn’t watch him leave, although she felt the blast of cold air when he opened the front door. It was a bitterly cold evening and to maximize sea views in their elderly apartment block, each front door opened on to a balcony that got the full blast of wind from the Atlantic. Suddenly, Mara hated the apartment because every part of it held memories of Jack.
When he was gone, she finished off her glass of wine and began to eat the rest of the chocolate fingers in the pack. Aliens had gone back to the DVD rental shop, but somewhere she had a copy of Terminator 2 where Linda Hamilton got really muscley and beat the heck out of lots of people. That was exactly what she needed right now.
Danae’s routine on a Saturday morning rarely varied. She’d collect her shopping basket and walk down Willow Street into the town, stopping at various places to buy food for the weekend and occasionally pass the time with some of the other shopkeepers. Nothing too personal, just talk about the weather, a subject which enthralled everyone.
‘Will it rain, do you think?’
‘The forecast said gales, but you can’t trust what they say. Always wrong. My husband’s cousin has a pig that always predicts the weather – goes into his pen if it’s going to rain, stays out if it’s fine, and if frost is due, he runs to the back door and tries to get in.’
There was always something to be discussed when it came to weather and it made the perfect subject for someone like Danae: you could talk all day about it and never reveal a thing about yourself.
One of her favourite stops was the new wool shop, where she’d go in and touch the beautiful silky skeins of wool and wonder what she’d make next. She loved knitting, loved the meditative quality of hearing the needles clicking together, feeling the wool slide through her fingers in the age-old tradition.
Avalon’s wool shop, Rudi & Madison, was on a cobbled lane off the square and it was painted a pretty lavender colour that drew the eye. The owner, Sandra, who was gentle and kind, had named the shop after her two dogs. Anyone who loved dogs that much was a good person in Danae’s eyes. Danae felt she could be friends with Sandra, but she was anxious about getting close and saying too much. She wasn’t good with people: it was safer to stand back, wasn’t it?
‘Morning, Danae,’ said Sandra, as the shop bell tinkled over the door. ‘How are you, pet? We’ve got some new silvery speckled pure wool, lovely for Christmas cardigans or things like that, and gifts, too – you could make beautiful scarves. Or imagine a lovely Aran sweater with sparkles in it; wouldn’t that be a great gift for a friend?’
‘Yes,’ said Danae, smiling. It was a genuine smile, even though there were few people in the world she called friend, and what Christmas presents she gave went to her family,