I couldn’t say anything. What I’d just seen had left me speechless, but it had also left me with a feeling of total clarity, a calmness I hadn’t felt in a long time. It seemed as though Jase was telling me it was okay. He was giving me that message I’d asked him to give me. Everything was going to be okay. And I’d needed to hear that, needed to know that more than I’d realised. He’d just given me his blessing to live again, and as crazy as that sounded, that’s what it had felt like to me.
‘They were there,’ Zac whispered, his hand still holding onto mine, his eyes still looking up at the now-darkened sky. ‘Those lights, those two tiny shooting stars… they were there.’
‘I know.’ I finally tore my eyes away from the sky and turned to Zac. And one look at his expression told me he was feeling everything I was feeling too. He was feeling it all. ‘I know,’ I smiled, a sudden, unbelievable happiness sweeping over me, as if someone had just whipped that blanket of sadness away to reveal this extreme joy, this utter exhilaration. I felt like a whole new beginning had opened up for me, a new start. I felt like my life was beginning all over again, and Jase was telling me to go and live it. And as Zac swept me up into his arms, spinning me round, both of us laughing like we hadn’t laughed in a long, long time, I knew that coming here hadn’t been coincidence. Something far more special, a force that could never be explained, had brought both Zac and I here. That’s what had brought us together.
‘Mikku,’ I gasped as Zac finally put me down, my heart still racing, still beating so hard I could feel it banging against my ribs.
‘Mikku?’ Zac asked, frowning slightly. ‘Who’s Mikku?’
‘My friend. The one I was talking to before you arrived… I’ve got to find him…’
‘Jessie! Hang on…’ Zac ran after me, grabbing my hand as we scurried over the road towards the resort centre. ‘Who’s this Mikku? And why are you running off to find him? What’s going on?’
I stopped and turned to face him, the lights of the giant Christmas tree illuminating his handsome face, those incredible green eyes of his shining as he looked at me. ‘Mikku, he… I don’t know, it’s really hard to explain – everything’s been really hard to explain these past few days but, Mikku he, I think he played a really big part in making sure we got together. Does that sound crazy?’
‘No more crazy than anything else that’s happened lately,’ Zac replied, pulling me against him for a hug, kissing the top of my head.
‘I just want to say thank you,’ I said, holding onto him, enjoying the warmth his hug was giving me. ‘I need to say thank you.’
‘Okay,’ Zac smiled, slipping his hand into mine as we started walking towards Café Aurora. Mikku worked there, so maybe they’d know where I could find him. ‘Let’s go find this Mikku then. I’d quite like to thank him myself.’ Zac looked at me again, squeezing my hand. ‘For giving me my future back.’
A ridiculous feeling of hope and happiness welled up inside me as we walked, snuggled against one another as we passed other couples enjoying this magical Christmas Eve in this wonderful little town, families with excited children running around in the snow or being pulled along on sledges, their faces eager and excited as they wondered what the morning would bring.
Walking into Café Aurora, the atmosphere was electric. The place was jam-packed with people singing and dancing, the air filled with the heady scent of cinnamon and spice. It was a happy place. But I already knew that.
Pushing our way through the crowd, we finally found the bar at the back of the café. A young, dark-haired man smiled at us, signalling that he’d be over in a few seconds.
‘This place is certainly enjoying a busy Christmas Eve,’ Zac smiled, leaning back against the bar as he watched a group of children gather round the fire to sing another song, their parents looking on, all of them beaming with a happiness that was infectious. The place was just filled with it – happiness. It was the most incredible feeling.
‘It’s a special place,’ I said quietly, smiling at the barman as he finally approached us.
‘What can I get you?’ he grinned. ‘We’ve got an amazing mulled wine on the go at the minute. Just the thing for a cold Christmas Eve night, don’t you think?’
I couldn’t help grinning back. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to stop grinning, actually. ‘That sounds amazing, thank you.’
‘Coming right up.’
He returned with the wine just seconds later, handing us two large, steaming mugs of warm, fragrant liquid that smelled so beautiful I almost didn’t want to drink it. ‘Oh, before I forget,’ I said, ‘… do you know where Mikku might be?’
The young barman frowned as he looked at me. ‘Mikku?’
‘Yeah. A young Sami man. He said he worked here…’
A look of realisation passed across the barman’s face, which fast turned into an expression I couldn’t explain. ‘When… when did you last see Mikku?’ he asked, looking at me with a slightly confused expression now.
‘About half an hour ago,’ I replied, glancing at Zac for a second – who just shrugged and took a sip of his mulled wine – before meeting the barman’s gaze again.
‘Mikku hasn’t worked here for over a year,’ the barman went on, and this time it was my turn to look confused.
‘But… but, I was only in here a couple of days ago and he was… he was wiping down tables and…’
‘Mikku died, last Christmas. It was a snowmobile accident. He was out with a group of other Samis looking for a child who’d gone missing in a snow storm but… the weather, it was way too treacherous. Mikku couldn’t control the snowmobile and… he died instantly. There was nothing they could do.’
I felt as thought the stuffing had been knocked out of me. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t say anything. How could Mikku be dead? How could he be dead when I’d seen him, just half an hour ago? When I’d had coffee with him, talked to him in the market? How could he be dead?
The barman looked at me, a sympathetic expression on his face now. ‘He was a kind man. I knew him well and I knew he would do anything for anybody. I’m sorry you had to find out like this.’
‘But… I don’t understand…’ I felt Zac take my hand and I looked at him, confusion temporarily taking over from the surge of happiness I’d been feeling before. ‘I don’t understand, Zac. I spoke to him, he talked to me, he helped me, guided me almost…’ It was then that another metaphorical punch to the stomach hit me, realisation that what we’d just seen tonight, up in the sky, it hadn’t just been Evie and Jase giving us their blessing, saying goodbye – it had been Mikku, too. ‘Oh my God,’ I whispered, taking a quick sip of mulled wine, the warm, spicy liquid giving me a sense of peace and calm and happiness. The happiness was back, pushing all sadness away. Despite what we’d just been told. ‘That’s why he told me to go to The Ice Tree that afternoon…’
Zac looked at me and it was his turn to give a home to the confused look now. ‘What… what do you mean?’
‘He told me I should go. Because he knew you were going to be there. He knew… and every time I had doubts, every time I thought I couldn’t go through with this he’d appear… he’d turn up, out of nowhere. I’d see him and he’d talk to me and he’d say the oddest things sometimes but…’ I looked at Zac, smiling. ‘But I understand why now. Tonight, when I ran out of the hotel, I told you I’d been talking to someone, didn’t I? I told you that… I told you… I’d been talking to Mikku. And he said I should tell you about Jase. He said I should tell you everything…’