“If you’re asking me about the size of his beer belly, I’d have to say no. It takes more than beer to grow one that large. I’d say he had some help from chicken-fried steak and homemade pie à la mode.”
Gwendolyn couldn’t help herself. A great gasp of laughter gurgled up from inside her, erupting in a completely unladylike display of mirth. She tried to control herself—her mouth was too wide for grinning, her cheeks too dimpled—but the effort left her with watering eyes and a sore jaw.
“So you can smile,” Hank remarked, leaning close across the small table. His finger touched the corner of her mouth, making her breath catch and her grin fade. “I was wonderin’. And I can see now that there’s nothin’ wrong with your teeth. I guess I made a big mistake thinkin’ you were tryin’ to hide ugly yellow chompers.”
“Chompers?” She couldn’t control another giggle. “Really, you are too absurd. Wherever do you get these ideas, not to mention these sayings?”
“Comes with the territory, darlin’,” he said with a grin. “Kind of like Resistol hats and beer bellies.”
She got the laughter under control. “I thought cowboys wore Stetsons.”
“Not really, at least not for everyday. That just sounds good. We also don’t wear ten-gallon hats, tuck our jeans into our boots or ride horses down main streets.”
“And you certainly don’t have a beer belly.” The words burst forth before she could control her errant mouth. What was it about this man that caused her good sense to flee like tender petals in a March wind?
“Nope,” he said, running his hand over his flat stomach as he grinned in a way that made her want to smile. “Don’t plan on getting one, either.”
“I’m certainly glad to hear that,” she whispered, leaning toward him with an increasing lack of restraint. “I’d hate to have to compare yours to that chap’s over there.” She pulled back, startled at the way her mouth was running ahead of her brain. “Not that I would…or is that something men do? Compare the size of their—”
“Lady Wendy! I’m shocked you’d think such a thing. We use the same standard as the rest of the U.S. of A. to judge manliness.” He paused, grinning slowly, making her heart race in anticipation of the next outrageous remark he was about to make. The next remark she’d prompted him to make.
Ridiculous. She’d never encouraged such behavior before.
“No,” he continued, “here in Texas we don’t flaunt the size of our beer bellies. We use something far more personal.”
She felt like crawling beneath the tiny table. “Why don’t we forget I brought up this subject?”
“And miss letting you in on some cultural learning? No, you have to know that we judge a man by the size of his—”
“Mr. McCauley!”
“—truck.”
She leaned back in her chair, her eyes blinking in disbelief, before the laughter bubbled forth once more to overwhelm her senses.
HANK FELT THE EVENING had been an unqualified success. He’d had a rip-roaring good time showing Lady Wendy the Riverwalk and one of his favorite honky-tonks. She’d enjoyed her first tequila sunrise, her first taste of nachos and her first Texas two-step. Although she’d insisted they could only afford one hour away from his princely training, he’d managed to turn one hour into nearly three. At midnight he’d told her goodnight at her door, holding her hands and telling her this lapse in her precious timetable wasn’t her fault. He’d told her that he would have taken her to the Alamo if he hadn’t been so intimidated by her need for “shedyules.”
Lord knows, she couldn’t be blamed for his faults. He was a bounder, as his dearly departed grandma used to say. He loved to tease and party and dance. He loved to make women smile as much as he loved to hold them in his arms. Lady Wendy was a particular challenge due to her strict British upbringing and inflated sense of duty, but when she did unwind…shoot, boy, howdy!
Hank pulled off his boots and stretched out on the bed. He stuffed a few pillows behind him before reaching for the notes Lady Wendy and Milos Anatole had given him earlier in the evening. Forms of address, proper etiquette, drafts of speeches and a schedule of events had been stressed for several hours while Milos had cut his hair “to a civilized length,” smeared some sweet-smelling lotion on his face “to eliminate ruddiness,” and fitted him with “a proper wardrobe.” Hank supposed Wendy thought he hadn’t been paying close attention to all her instructions, but he had.
Studying an hour or so more wouldn’t hurt. He had no intention of embarrassing her or jeopardizing the monarchy of Belegovia—whatever that meant.
Even more now than when she’d shown up on his porch, he wanted to help her succeed. For reasons he couldn’t comprehend, saving Prince Alexi’s sorry butt was important to her. She’d said there was nothing going on between her and the royal bore, but Hank wasn’t convinced. Maybe when she looked at him or danced with him, she imagined she was with the prince. Maybe she’d had a royal crush for years.
How in the hell, Hank wondered, could he be jealous of a man he didn’t know? Prince Alexi had rubbed him the wrong way from the moment Wendy had told him about the prince running off with Kerry Lynn. Not that he was jealous because of Kerry Lynn. No, as much as he hated to admit it, Hank knew he was jealous because Wendy had spent so much of her time with the prince. A man who apparently had everything but common sense…and maybe common decency. Why in the world would he leave Lady Wendy—a long-time friend and employee—in the lurch to pursue a selfish desire for a little fun? How could he do that to a fine woman like her?
Hank knew he shouldn’t be thinking about Wendy’s personal situation, but there was just something about her that brought out his protective instincts. She was a foreigner in this land, far away from home and charged with a huge responsibility. She had a lot of guts, which he admired in anyone, but more than that, she was as sexy as hell for a prim-and-proper English lady.
For one thing, she had a beautiful mouth, wide and as inviting as all get out. Her teeth were straight and white, and when he’d kissed her, she’d tasted like heaven on earth. When she grinned really big, like when he’d teased her after their last dance, he’d discovered two dimples that made him want to keep her smiling for a long time. Which wasn’t going to happen. She was here in the U.S. temporarily; he didn’t plan to leave Texas unless he had to on business.
“Doesn’t matter,” Hank muttered to himself. Wendy was fun to tease, exciting in an innocent manner and admirable in her dedication to her job, but she was really just another woman who was using him to get what she wanted.
Hell, he didn’t hold that against her. He’d agreed to the job for his own reasons. He was learning some manners, getting some exposure to fine clothes and shoes, so he couldn’t complain. His ranch was in good hands for a few days and he was having fun.
He reached for the sheaf of papers, shaking off his morose thoughts for more practical matters. Tomorrow he wouldn’t be meeting any dukes, earls or barons, but he still had to look the role of a prince.
“Piece of cake,” he murmured. After all, he’d been playing the role of a devil-may-care rodeo champion for most of his adult life.
Chapter Four
“You look like you just swallowed a bad oyster,” Hank whispered as they walked through the brass-and-glass doors of the hotel for the first of two events on the “prince’s” agenda that day.
Wendy swallowed the imaginary lump, using every ounce of willpower to keep walking toward the Land Rover. She now knew what the condemned must