Josie nodded in understanding. “I lost my mom and dad, too.”
Now, why had she told them that? Normally, she kept her personal life to herself. Especially her childhood, which had been anything but happy. A disturbing memory of constant fights between her parents ripped through her mind. Angry words and hateful accusations, followed by her father leaving one rainy night just after Josie’s thirteenth birthday. She’d never seen Dad again. He’d been killed in a car accident a year later. But not once had he called or written her. In fact, no man seemed to want her. First Dad had left, then two ex-fiancé’s. Even Mom had treated her like a burden, and she’d grown up feeling unwanted.
She didn’t want to dwell on those sad times, but they seemed imbedded in her soul. Something about Clint drew out her carefully kept secrets. Right now, she wished she could crawl into a deep hole and hide.
“Yes, I know,” Gracie said. “Grandma Vi told me. She said you and me are kindred spirits because we both lost our moms.”
Grandma had said that? Hmm, surprising, when Josie considered that her mother never cared much for Grandma. Mom hadn’t gotten along well with her in-laws, especially after Dad had died. Now, Josie stared at Gracie, seeing a maturity in the girl’s eyes that was much too advanced for her years.
Kindred spirits. That sounded like something Grandma would have said, but Josie couldn’t equate herself with this little girl. After all, they were almost complete strangers. Yes, Josie understood loss. Her mom had been so busy working three jobs to put food on the table and pay the rent that she’d had little time for her lonely daughter. Growing up, it would have been so easy for Josie to become a rebellious teenager. Instead, she’d found approval through perfection. She’d spent most nights alone, reading books and doing homework. She’d had very few friends, but she’d earned top grades in math, science and chemistry. Seeking the love she so badly craved, she’d won the approval of her teachers. And during college, she’d avoided men and socializing. Nothing had seemed more important to her than school and work.
Until now.
“It’s okay. I still have Daddy,” the girl said.
Clint cleared his throat and glanced at the boxed trees before quirking his brows with amusement. “You need another tree? I would have thought with all the trees Frank cut down that you’d had enough for one Christmas.”
Josie’s face heated with embarrassment. He’d deftly changed the topic and she was relieved, but she hated that he’d caught her buying a fake tree. “Remember, you confiscated all the live trees, so we don’t have one for our own Christmas now.”
“Ah, I see. Well, that won’t do.” Understanding filled his eyes and he sent her a smile of empathy. “Where is Frank, anyway?”
She gave a scoffing laugh, finding the situation sadly funny. “Outside in my car. He refused to come inside to pick out a fake tree. He’s never had anything but a live tree and he’s been grumbling for two days that Christmas is ruined without a real one.”
She could buy a tree permit, but after what had happened the other day, she’d rather avoid the Forest Service office at all costs. She didn’t want to take another chance on Gramps being arrested. Also, she had no desire to navigate the winter roads up into the mountains to cut another tree.
“We’re going to cut our tree right now. Daddy needs to buy a new hand saw first.” Gracie spoke in a tone that indicated a real tree was the only way to go.
Although Josie hadn’t had a Christmas tree in her lonely apartment for the past three years, she agreed.
Clint chuckled, the sound low and deep. “There’s definitely something to be said about having a real tree in your house on Christmas morning. But lots of people buy fake trees. Some are beautiful and look very real.”
Josie stared doubtfully at her choices. “Just not these two.”
“Yeah, these are pretty pathetic.” He lifted a small saw with a yellow price tag emblazoned on the wooden handle. “I propose a solution. Like Gracie said, we’re on our way up on the mountain to cut our own Christmas tree. I’ve got a chain saw and it’d be no trouble to cut one for you while we’re there.”
“Oh, I—”
“Hey!” Gracie cut in. “Why don’t you and Grandpa Frank come with us? We have room in Dad’s truck. Don’t we, Dad?”
The girl looked up at her father, an innocent expression on her face.
Josie froze. She didn’t know what to say. The deafening silence indicated that Clint was just as dumbstruck.
“Yeah.” He spoke the word in slow motion. “Why don’t you come with us? It’d do Frank some good, too.”
Josie agreed. An outing might be just the thing to drag Gramps out of his surly mood. But that would mean spending more time with the attractive forest ranger and his cute little daughter. “I’m not sure we can. I’ve got to buy groceries first.”
“Oh, please come with us, Josie. Please, please,” Gracie begged, hopping up and down with anticipation.
Josie hesitated. If only the child wasn’t so charming. And her father so handsome and brooding.
But Josie had to think. To discern if Clint’s offer was authentic, or obligatory. She sensed a reticence in him. Not because of Gramps. Oh, no. Josie was almost positive that Clint had a problem with her. And she couldn’t help wondering why.
* * *
This was a bad idea. Clint felt it deep in his bones. But Gracie had invited Josie and Frank, and Clint couldn’t back out now. Not without possibly hurting Frank’s feelings again. “Sure, why don’t you come along with us? It’ll put Frank back on an even keel with the Forest Service. And I’ll even provide the thermos of hot chocolate.”
Josie laughed, the melodic sound easing Clint’s discomfort just a bit. “I don’t know. I hate to impose.”
He shifted his feet, surprised by her pleasant mood. He’d expected her to hold a grudge. And he liked that she was able to let it go. Nor could he deny the outing sounded fun. What could it hurt? It was just a tree-cutting party, after all. No big deal. Each year, he took Gracie out to cut down their Christmas tree. But this would be the first time a woman accompanied them. And Frank, a grandfather figure Gracie loved. Clint had to put his little girl first. And as much as he hated to admit it, he didn’t seem to be enough for Gracie anymore. She was getting older and growing up so fast. Maybe being with other people during the holidays would be good for her.
Maybe it’d be good for him, too.
“It’s no imposition. Really. I even have several permits, so it’ll be perfectly legal.” Clint reached inside his coat pocket and pulled out three tree tags, dangling them before Josie’s eyes as proof.
She chuckled at his attempt at humor. And it felt so good to hear a woman’s laugh. Like coming in out of the cold after a freezing storm. Karen had been sullen, laughing so rarely. Always deeply depressed. He remembered making up jokes, and bringing her flowers every Saturday, just to see her smile. But laughter had evaded her. Which was probably why he craved it so much now.
“I’d have to check with Gramps first,” Josie said.
“Don’t worry, he’ll agree.” Clint spoke with conviction.
“Okay, but I’ll need an hour to take our groceries home and put our perishables away in the fridge. I’ve been cleaning the house for two days and we need to stock up on a lot of supplies.” She clamped her mouth closed, as if she’d confided too much information.
Clint didn’t mind. He’d seen the state of Frank’s house and had his own concerns. Since Viola’s passing, the man wasn’t taking care of himself. At his age, Clint could understand why. He was glad Josie was here to aid her grandfather.