But her words meant nothing to him as he curled his fingers and raised his fists.
Serena lay with her body pressed against the carpet. Though her father had left, she couldn’t bring herself to move. Her hand touched the tender skin at her throat, the pulsing fear returning. She tasted blood in her mouth, and pain radiated throughout her body.
It only renewed her resolve to leave. I won’t stay here. I can’t. The door opened, and she saw the stricken faces of her ladies. Serena said nothing, but allowed Katarina to help her to her feet. The woman picked up the fallen rose with its crushed petals and held it to her.
Though not a word was spoken, she was certain they’d heard her father’s tirade. Serena accepted the rose and leaned upon Katarina as she entered the hallway.
‘Your Highness?’ Katarina asked, her voice fearful. Her maid stopped walking and reached for a fallen lock of Serena’s hair, pinning it back into place. In her lady-in-waiting’s eyes, Serena saw the worry. But she could say nothing to reassure them.
‘I am going to see my mother,’ she insisted. One last time, before I leave. Her ladies surrounded her and led the way.
As she walked, Serena rested her hand against her bruised side, fighting to calm herself. Though not every servant was loyal to her, there were enough men and women to turn a blind eye to her escape. She believed she could get out of the palace with little trouble. The true problem was reaching the hunting lodge before the other guards caught up to her. They had no choice but to follow and bring her home again.
When they finally arrived at her mother’s chambers and her presence was announced, Serena tried to smile.
Queen Clara was propped up with several pillows, her light brown hair streaked with grey. She wore a cap and a white nightgown, but the pale linen only accentuated her wan face.
‘How are you feeling today, Mother?’ Serena asked, handing her the rose.
Clara took it and smiled, before she waved her hand, dismissing the ladies. ‘Come and sit beside me.’
When the queen took her hand, her expression turned grim. Slowly, she reached out and touched Serena’s reddened throat. ‘What happened?’ Her hand traced the marks, as if the caress could take away the pain.
A hard ball of fear rose up in her throat and Serena forced back the denial. Tears pricked at her eyes, but she could only lift her shoulders in a shrug. ‘I’ve … tried to be better. More like the princess he wants me to be. But he seems to hate the very air I breathe.’
Clara closed her eyes, her hands gripping the coverlet. ‘Your lady-in-waiting, Katarina, confessed this morning that your father has … taken your punishments too far at times. And she said you’re planning to leave.’
Serena masked her frustration. It was her secret to keep—not theirs to tell.
‘You should have told me about this,’ her mother insisted, her face rigid. ‘I thought he Only … hit you once in a while. I thought it was discipline.’ A tear slid down the queen’s face. ‘But Katarina said he broke your ribs.’ Her mother’s eyes stared hard at her, as if trying to determine if it was true. Serena dropped her gaze, unwilling to answer.
‘Why would you hide this from me? I could have done something to help you.’
‘And what would you have done?’ Serena demanded. ‘You’re ill. If you tried to fight him, he would have taken his anger out on you. I’m strong,’ she whispered. ‘You’re not.’
‘I know it, but surely—’
‘Don’t try to stop me from leaving,’ Serena warned. ‘I … I need this time to decide what to do, Mother.’
The queen’s shoulders lowered in defeat. ‘You’ll be married this summer,’ she reminded her. ‘And after that happens, your husband will keep you safe.’
Serena didn’t believe it, though she nodded to her mother as if she did. Clara reached out and took her hand. She hid her dismay at how fragile her mother’s knuckles were, how pale the skin.
‘Take the next fortnight at our estate in Oberalstadt, if you need some time to recover. If your father returns and asks where you are, I’ll tell him I sent you to visit my relatives.’ Her mother tried to smile. ‘And when you return, I’ll do what I can to protect you from his temper.’ Her gaze shifted over to the wardrobe that contained her day dresses. ‘Perhaps I’ll be strong enough to speak to him myself.’
Serena doubted if her mother could do anything, but she demurred. ‘I love you, liebe Mutter.’
The queen reached up and touched her cheek. ‘I’m sorry for being so weak. If I had more strength …’ Her voice trailed off with unspoken words.
Serena lowered her strength. ‘You’ll be fine.’ And so will I. She kissed her mother’s cheek and squeezed her hands, praying that she would see her again one day.
After she left, she passed the tall windows that lined the east wing. As a young girl, she’d sometimes raced her sister down the hall, while sunlight spilled through the large panes of glass. Now, she walked at a more dignified pace, as befitted a princess.
Raindrops spattered down the windows, but even the wretched weather couldn’t destroy the bottled up hope inside of her. Freedom lay just within her grasp.
She returned to her chamber, waiting for her father and Anna to depart for Sardinia. Anna would be presented to the widowed king as a possible candidate for his new wife.
When Serena glanced in her looking glass, she saw the redness surrounding her throat. Without asking for permission, her lady-in-waiting Katarina brought out a lace fichu and drew it around Serena’s neck to cover the skin. ‘Does it hurt, Your Highness?’
‘I’ll be fine.’ But when Serena stared at herself in the looking glass, her face was pale, her green eyes rimmed with red. Despite all of her careful plans, she couldn’t repress her shiver. Her father might have killed her this afternoon.
She touched the back of her head, and the barest pressure sent a wave of pain within the skin. Katarina dampened a cloth from the washing basin and sponged at her hair to remove the traces of blood. Though her lady was gentle, Serena closed her eyes at the pain.
Soon you’ll be gone from here. And he’ll never hurt you again. She clung to the thought, taking comfort from it.
‘The coach is waiting in the forest,’ Katarina whispered beneath her breath. Before she could say another word, there was a knock at the door. When Serena nodded for Katarina to answer it, her lady-in-waiting announced, ‘Your Highness, the Princess Anna is here to bid you farewell.’
Anna entered with three of her ladies trailing behind, and Serena went to embrace her. Her sister wore a rose taffeta travelling gown with seven flounces and a silk bonnet with a matching rose ribbon. A dark woollen cloak was tied around her shoulders. She held her gloved hands together, worry creasing her smile.
‘I’ll miss you,’ Serena told Anna. It was true. Despite her desperate need to escape, she would think of her mother and sister often. Perhaps one day she could send for Anna, or make arrangements to come and visit her after her sister was married. But the tangled sadness in her heart wouldn’t soften. She was afraid of never seeing them again, and it hurt to imagine the loneliness.
Anna appeared worried. ‘I know that … a royal marriage is expected of me. But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid. What do I know of the king of Sardinia?’
‘You’ll be fine. And the weather will be much warmer.’ She braved a smile, but Anna didn’t answer it.
‘I still don’t understand why you’d want to leave for a holiday alone.’ A worried expression pulled at her sister’s mouth. ‘With only a few servants?’ Anna pressed her hands