Angry with himself, he’d wanted to reach out, touch her, tell her that she should not be ashamed—but she’d bolted.
Jamie sensed a soul like his own. Someone who preferred the everyday to the limelight. Someone who avoided crowds and adulation. Someone who preferred to hide behind a mask.
He felt her magnetism. Her draw.
And helplessly he allowed himself to be pulled in.
* * *
‘It is you, isn’t it?’
Freya had quickly run to the kitchenette to make her patient’s husband a cup of tea. She’d slid into the small room, breathing a sigh of relief, wondering just how the hell she was going to get through work for the next few weeks if he was going to be here, covering for Sandra.
She’d just been kneeling down to put the milk back in the fridge when she’d heard the door open behind her and then his voice.
Freya closed her eyes and looked down, hoping the loose tendrils of her hair would cover her face. She didn’t want this. Didn’t need this. Tonight had already been overwhelming—finding out she was pregnant—but to have him here too? To have to have this conversation? Now? At work?
‘I’m sorry, I need to take this drink to my patient.’
She held the mug of tea in her hand, not turning to face him, but so very aware of his presence behind her in this small, suddenly claustrophobic room.
This man had made her body sing. Nerve-endings that she’d thought were dead had come alive that night and she had felt every single part of her body as he’d played her like a delicate harp. Knowing what to touch and how to touch, how to make her gasp, sigh and groan. She’d experienced things with this man that she had never felt before. He’d made her reveal a side to herself that she’d never known.
But he’d been with a woman who didn’t exist in reality, and she didn’t need to see his disappointment when he realised.
Just being this close to him now was doing crazy things to her insides and turning her legs to jelly. And was it hot? Her armpits were tingling with sweat.
They’d had an amazing night. And it would stay that way as long as he didn’t ruin the illusion by seeing her for who she really was. He’d probably thought that she was some rare beauty, but if he saw her properly he would soon be surprised. No doubt about that.
She didn’t want to have to watch it happen right in front of her. That look. She’d already noticed his shock when they were at the hub, and work was meant to be her happy place. He was ruining everything.
Holding the mug of tea before her, she kept her head down to pass him so she could get to the door.
He stepped back, keeping a respectful distance, which she appreciated, but as she reached for the handle he spoke again.
‘It is you.’
Keeping her eyes downcast, she stared at the floor, not wanting to see him take in her scars, her wounds. To see that she was damaged goods. This man had wanted her! Wanted her so badly! And it had been wondrous—a memory she’d cherished since that night. A moment of freedom from the poor existence with which Mike had left her. And she had revelled in that.
Did she want to see him realise that the woman he had given himself to was not the one of his dreams? No. Just for once she wanted to be a good memory for someone. For them to believe her beautiful.
‘I’m sorry, I have to go.’
‘Look at me.’
‘Jamie, please...’ She glanced upwards for just a moment and painfully met his gaze, her eyes blurry with unshed tears, waiting to see him realise his mistake...
Only it didn’t happen. He simply looked directly at her. Showed no shock this time. No horror.
‘If only you knew how much I’ve wanted to see you again.’
Confused, she stared back. Felt the tears finally escape her eyes and trickle down her cheeks.
‘What...?’
What was he saying? What did he mean? Why wasn’t he reacting to her face like everyone else did?
‘You’re unforgettable—do you know that?’
She swallowed hard, looking away, down at the steaming mug. ‘For all the wrong reasons.’
She got out of the kitchenette as quickly as she could. What was it with them and small rooms? Kitchenettes. Supply cupboards. Was Jamie set to startle her in anything less than six by six? Should she stay away from bathroom cubicles, too?
As she hurried back to her patient’s room she madly wiped her eyes and sniffed a few times, to try and look presentable for Andrea and her husband.
What had just happened? How had he managed to turn her understanding of the world completely on its head?
She slipped her hand into her pocket, to reassure herself that the pregnancy test was still there. Only it wasn’t. Her pocket was empty except for her notebook and pen.
She looked back to the kitchenette and saw Jamie come out, his face a mass of confused emotions as his eyes met hers.
Over the small white stick in his hand.
IT MUST HAVE fallen from her pocket. But when? And how?
And then she remembered crouching down to get the milk from the fridge. Something similar had happened before, due to the design of the pocket on her uniform. It was below the waist, low down. She’d lost her mobile phone once that way, hearing it clatter onto the floor. She’d not heard the test stick fall. Probably because she’d heard his voice instead. Felt his presence.
‘It is you. Isn’t it?’
His words had cut through everything.
Her mind had been on other things. Other concerns. She’d closed that fridge fast. Stood up quickly and made that tea, trying not to look at him, trying to get away as quickly as she could.
She was saved from going over to him and taking the test from his hands. The call light above Bed Two flashed and she went in to see how Lisa Chambers, her labouring mother there, was doing.
Lisa was pacing the room, her abdomen swollen before her, her hands pressed into her back.
‘I felt the need to push with that last one, Freya.’
She handed the mug of tea over to Lisa’s husband and then guided Lisa back to the bed. ‘I’ll need to check you before you can push.’
She didn’t need Lisa pushing too early. It might cause a swelling of the cervix and make delivery more difficult.
Regaining control of her own body, she checked her patient’s. ‘You’re right, Lisa. You’re ten centimetres. You can push with the next contraction.’
Lisa got up off the bed. ‘I can’t lie down, though.’
‘That’s fine. Let your body lead you and I’ll help. Just tell me when you’re ready.’
Lisa beckoned to her husband to stand on the other side of the bed and take her hands. Then she squatted on the other side.
‘When the contraction comes, take a big, deep breath, Lisa—chin to your chest and push, right into your bottom.’
Lisa nodded, waiting, then closed her eyes and sucked in that breath.
Freya quickly washed her hands, dried them and gloved up. Lisa might be five times a mother, but this was her first vaginal delivery. It might take some time and, with the best will in the world and not wanting to prolong her patient’s suffering, she hoped that it would.
Because