* * *
Anyone listening to her would think she was mad. He probably thought she was mad. But she’d prefer to risk being considered crazy than to risk falling in love. That was not on her agenda. She needed to get away. Far away. From his easy charm and his come-to-bed eyes and his to-die-for body before she made any more mistakes. She could totally understand why he wasn’t often rejected. He was completely gorgeous and the sex had been fantastic but he wasn’t for her. She couldn’t afford to relax her rules. She didn’t do second dates or dinner or whatever he wanted to call it. She couldn’t accept his invitation, no matter how much she was tempted.
So she walked away, even though it was hard to do, and returned to Kirsty and her baby. She had a new mum to care for. A job to do. There was no time to think about what-ifs and to wish things were different.
She helped Kirsty to breastfeed her baby, then shower and dress. She settled her into her room and left Kirsty and Matt alone with their baby. She was due for a tea break but she didn’t want to risk having it in the staff kitchen and bumping into Xavier so she escaped to the nursery, looking for Sarah. She needed to debrief.
Brighde offered to take over from the other nurse on duty so she could take a tea break which allowed her to talk to Sarah without interruption. The nursery was quiet. It was three o’clock in the morning and most of the babies were with their mothers. Sarah was feeding a premmie baby and there was another who needed changing. Brighde picked her up, changing her nappy before holding her for a while. She loved the weight of a newborn baby in her arms. Loved the new baby smell. She would love one of her own if things were different.
‘Are you going to tell me how it went?’ Sarah asked as she settled her charge.
‘Fine,’ Brighde replied. ‘Good, even.’ Xavier was a good doctor but Brighde hadn’t been able to think straight. She needed a plan. A way of knowing she was going to be able to hold herself together and do her job. She couldn’t afford to be distracted.
‘And?’ Sarah queried. ‘You obviously have something on your mind. Spit it out.’
‘He asked me out.’
‘And you said yes?’
‘I don’t do second dates. You know that.’
‘Technically, it’s not a second date. You never really had a first one and a good bonking is not the same thing as a candlelit dinner. And I’ve never seen you so obsessed.’
‘I’m not obsessed,’ Brighde objected.
‘Fascinated then.’
‘Well, there’s a lot to be fascinated about,’ she admitted.
‘There’s no harm in going on a date with him. Especially as you can call this a first date.’
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