“But no matter what happens,” Ben said, “you are not to tell Mrs. Parker that I’m paying you to help her. In fact, don’t tell her you’re there to help at all. Just let her think you’re curious about the baby and that you’d like to be her friend.”
Looking like a boy who was confident he could do this job, Nathan nodded, slammed the truck door and ran across the short front lawn to Gwen’s porch.
Ben started his truck and quickly eased it onto the road, knowing it would ruin everything if Gwen saw him and that Nathan had enough common sense to return to the ranch if Gwen refused his offer. But he didn’t think she would. He hadn’t met a woman yet who didn’t melt at Nathan’s smile.
Driving home, Ben felt as if he was the smartest man on the face of the earth. If this worked, orphaned Nathan would be busy and happy, with a caring adult, as had been his foster parents’ intent when they sent him to Ben, and Gwen would have company. In case she fell or became ill, Nathan would know to contact Ben. And Ben didn’t have to feel guilty anymore. He was a genius.
Because Nathan didn’t return to the ranch, for exactly one afternoon Ben felt he had the world by the tail. He was even whistling when he jogged up the porch steps of Gwen’s cottage to retrieve Nathan and take him home, but when smiling Gwen opened her door to him and Ben felt an unexpected jolt of happiness seeing her, he started to reconsider everything.
“Hi,” she greeted, obviously not holding a grudge for his mistake that afternoon.
“Hi,” he said. An odd sense of something tingled through him. His first instinct was to think he was getting a crush on her, but that had to be wrong. Sure, Gwen was a beautiful woman. Actually, she was gorgeous. But she was also pregnant with another man’s child. Now that he knew the real story, he had to suspect that Gwen hadn’t yet had time to get over her ex—especially if she hadn’t wanted the divorce.
Besides, he’d seen her often enough when he showed her the cottage and they negotiated her lease that if he were really getting a crush on her he would have felt it sooner, right? Right. If he were experiencing anything more than a reaction to her good looks, he would have felt it before this.
“I’m here for Nathan.”
“Oh, yes,” Gwen said, flustered. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Ben said, stepping into her kitchen for the second time that day, but this time he noticed that her curtains were sunny yellow. She had a white lace tablecloth on the table and a bouquet of brown-eyed Susans. “I’m not in any hurry.”
At that she turned. “Really? Because if you have time I made a casserole for dinner. There’s plenty.”
Ben grinned sheepishly. “I don’t have that much time.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Gwen said, appearing flustered again.
Ben almost groaned at his stupidity. He knew he’d screwed up everything that afternoon by forgetting that pregnant women were emotional. Yet, he continued to hit all the wrong buttons with Gwen. Being too blunt. Speaking too soon. Not showing a little kindness.
“I’ll just go upstairs and get him.”
She turned to run up the steps, but Ben put his hand atop hers on the banister. Unfortunately, even though she stopped as he wanted her to, Ben also stopped. His heart stopped. His breathing stopped. And he was fairly certain all his brain cells stopped functioning.
The back of her hand was like satin. Smooth, warm satin.
Positive he must be getting sick or something, he cleared his throat. “Take your time,” he said, and when his voice came out hoarse and whispery, he had to stifle a grimace.
What the hell was wrong with him?
Gwen disappeared up the steps, and as Ben waited for her return he oriented himself back to sanity. But when she walked down the stairs, the fading rays of the late-afternoon sun framed her in a yellow glow. Spontaneously, he wished he had a picture of her like that, and he knew sanity was nowhere around.
“Nathan was a very good boy today,” she said, and Nathan beamed with pride.
“Well, that’s good,” Ben said, wanting only to get the heck out of this house before he said or did something else foolish. “When he said he was curious about you and the baby, I didn’t think you would mind if he spent some time with you.”
“Oh, I didn’t,” Gwen quickly said. “I loved the company.”
“Good,” Ben said.
Nathan tugged on his shirtsleeve. “She said I can come over anytime I want.”
Ben risked a peek at her. “Is that so?”
Gwen shrugged and smiled. “I like the company.”
That seemed to be all there was to say, but Ben didn’t want to accidentally insult her again by jumping to the conclusion that the conversation was over if she didn’t think it was, because he didn’t want to feel any more responsible for her than he already felt. When he realized things had grown so quiet he could hear the tick of the clock, he also realized he’d been standing by her front door like an idiot for at least a minute. Almost as if he didn’t want to leave.
“Well, Nate, let’s go,” he said, reaching for the door-knob. Nathan scrambled around him and wiggled his way between Ben and the opening. “He’s got a lot of energy,” Ben said, making excuses for Nathan’s need to get outside. He certainly couldn’t tell her the kid was anxious to get to Ben’s home and see his ten dollars on the mantel.
“He does have a lot of energy,” Gwen agreed with a laugh. “I can’t tell you what a relief it was to have him around all afternoon. He did tons of little things for me. I didn’t realize I had so many chores I was putting off until I could bend a little easier.”
Though Ben would have happily scooted off her porch only three seconds before, for this he turned and faced her. He had no doubt Nathan would keep Gwen company, but he wanted to confirm Nathan was doing what he was being paid to do. “He helped you?”
“A great deal,” Gwen assured Ben with a nod. “And he’s a wonderful boy.”
Her words were like a soothing balm, a confirmation for Ben that he’d really done right by her. No guessing. No assumptions. His smile was quick and genuine. “Yes, he is.”
“I hope my child is as happy and energetic as he is.”
Hearing the sweet, wishful, motherly tone of her voice, Ben realized why he suddenly felt differently around her than he had before. He’d lost his wall of protection. He’d already admitted to himself that Gwen was a beautiful woman. He’d admitted to himself that he found her attractive. But he’d always had the protection of thinking she must not be a good person to have yanked her child away from its natural father. Now that he had accepted that Gwen herself was abandoned, a good and decent person trying to do the best she could, it seemed his fortress against her appeal was gone. And all the rules had changed.
“Well, I’ll see you around,” he said gruffly, and bounded outside, not wasting another second.
Not only was he attracted to her, but with the knowledge that she was as blameless as she was beautiful, the door was open for him to pursue her…and he wanted to. That was what kept throwing off his concentration and his ability to reason. He really wanted to get to know her. She was pretty, sweet and delightfully charming. What man wouldn’t want to spend time with her?
But there was one little problem.
He had no intention of settling down. None. Never. And a woman with a child on the way needed a commitment. Since Ben was not the kind of man who could make a commitment, he had to stay the hell away from her.
Chapter Two
Gwen didn’t know why she hid her stash