“Dane, are you all right?”
Zoey’s worried voice penetrated his thoughts. He needed to answer her, but his throat was tight with emotions he refused to acknowledge—was afraid to acknowledge.
“Dane? I saw Blake run to his room. Did you two talk?”
Frustrated, he pivoted, his arms stiff at his sides. “No, I didn’t go against your wishes, if that’s what you want to know. He ran past the living room and up the stairs before I could say a word to him.”
“Give him some time. He’ll come around.” She hugged the bedding to her.
“And what about you and me?”
“I suspect we all need time to adjust to the changes.”
“Because we aren’t the same two people?”
“That and because we both remember what our marriage was like right before you left. A lot has happened to us in the past few years.”
Weariness settled on his shoulders and laid heavily about him like the humidity in the jungle. He retrieved his duffel bag he’d put down before knocking on the screen door. “Here. Let me take those sheets and pillow. I can make up the bed. Just point me in the right direction.”
Zoey moved to the side and gestured down the hall. “The den is at the back of the house. When you’re through, Mandy should be ready for a story.”
He started past the entrance into the living room and paused. “Do you need any help?”
Zoey’s brow creased. “Help?”
“Yes.” He indicated the dishes still stacked on the dining room table from the family meal earlier. “I interrupted you cleaning up after dinner.”
Zoey shook her head. “That’s okay. It won’t take me long. We ate late tonight because we’d been at my friend Darcy’s farm. Mandy’s taking riding lessons on Friday evenings and Blake had an extra soccer practice.” She remembered the times they would clean up together, especially when they were first married, and how often they would end up in some kind of playful fight, sharing laughter, sharing a kiss. Those memories were too much for her at the moment because that had been a long time ago and a lot had happened since then.
“I’ll read Mandy her story, then I’ll look in on Tara. I’ll wait on Blake. Which bedroom is his? I don’t want to bother him and cause anymore trouble.” Dane’s voice was stiff and formal as though it was necessary to put a distance between them.
“The one with the closed door.”
There was no expression on Dane’s face as he headed toward the den to put up his duffel bag and bedding. The silence of the house, usually a balm, eroded what composure she had left. Moving into the living room, she sank onto a chair, hugging her arms to still the trembling that quickly spread throughout her body. Shudder after shudder left her vulnerable and uncertain what to do next. She buried her face in her hands and massaged her fingers into her temple. How was she going to keep her family together?
“Zoey?”
Her head snapped up, and she stared at her mother hovering over her. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Is Tara in bed?”
“Yes, it took a while to get her to go down. Dane’s saying good-night to her right now.”
“He is? I didn’t even see him go by.”
“Maybe because you were deep in thought. Want to talk?”
Zoey rose slowly, weariness in every movement. “I’m all talked out, Mom.”
“Are you sure? You look mighty lost.”
“Oh, is it that obvious?”
“Yes, hon.” Emma brushed Zoey’s hair behind her ear. “Remember, I’m the one who you came to after Dane died—I mean, disappeared. Boy, this is hard. I’ve thought of him as being dead for so long. If I’m having a hard time, I know you are. What can I do to help?”
Tears misted Zoey’s eyes. “You’re doing it right now.” She went into her mother’s embrace, glad she’d come home when her life had been falling apart. Family and God were what was important. With them as her support she would be there for her children when they needed her.
“I tried to say good-night to Blake, but he was already asleep. That’s the first time he’s gone to bed before Mandy that I can remember. What happened in the den? Did he talk to Dane?”
Zoey pulled back, one tear rolling down her cheek, then another. “No. He was so upset that Dane was here that he wouldn’t talk to his father. What should I do?”
“Pray. Have faith that God will help you through this. He was there for you in the past. He is here for you now, and He will be there for you in the future.”
Zoey swiped her hand across her cheeks. “I’m happy that Dane is alive, Mom, but my world is suddenly no longer the safe haven I’ve worked so hard to make it. Everything’s changed tonight.”
Emma gripped Zoey’s hands. “No, it hasn’t. Your faith is the same. Your love for your children and family is the same. Keep that in mind.” She scanned the mess in the dining room. “Now, let me give you a hand cleaning this up.”
“No, you’ve done enough. I won’t be able to sleep for a while. You go home and get some rest. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“You always did like to be alone to wrestle with your problems. That hasn’t changed, I see.” Her mother squeezed Zoey’s hands before releasing them and making her way toward the front door. “I expect to hear from you before the sun sets tomorrow.”
“I’m surprised you don’t want me to call you before the sun rises.”
“Hon, for once I think I’ll be sleeping late. Good night.”
The sound of the front door closing echoed through the house. Zoey stared at it for a moment, feeling all her uncertainty crashing down on her. Dane was finally home and a few feet away in the same house. Her children were upstairs, safe. All should be well with the world, and yet she felt the fabric of her life unraveling.
She headed up the stairs, needing to check on her children before cleaning up. She stood at Mandy’s door and listened to Dane read to her. Her daughter was curled up next to him, her eyes drooping closed. Next, Zoey went to Tara’s room and kissed her sleeping toddler’s forehead. Then she opened Blake’s door and peeked into his room. The light from the hallway shone across his bed. Her son lay buried under mounds of blankets as though he were trying to shut the world out. In that moment she had the same urge.
She walked to her bedroom and retrieved her Bible by her bed. Sitting in a chair by the window, she opened the book and sought comfort in its pages.
Dear Heavenly Father, I don’t know if I can do what I need to do. Help me to make this marriage work, to find the strength to make us a whole family again. I am lost and afraid of what the future holds. Please show me the way.
The dank darkness surrounded him as though he were wearing a straightjacket. The pain gnawed at his insides, consuming his whole body. The heat pressed down on him, making it difficult to breathe. Tight. Suffocating— He reached out. Fire licked at his fingers, searing his flesh.
With a gasp Dane opened his eyes and found a gray-and-black cat balanced on his chest, two blue eyes staring at him. A cat? Where was he? Confusion clouded his mind, the fragments of his reoccurring nightmare lingering in his thoughts.
The animal lifted his paw and batted at Dane’s face. He scrambled to sit up.
“What in the world—”
“That’s Pepper, our cat.”
Dane snapped his head around to find Mandy sitting