“I couldn’t wait for you to take the first step anymore,” she said softly, breathlessly. “I’m out of time. I had to tell you.”
“Tell me what?” Say it, he pleaded silently. Say it and go.
“I love you.”
Like a powerful fist to his midsection, Jake felt the blow. He stared into her eyes and saw everything he’d ever hoped to see shining back at him. Lord, how he wanted to tell her the same thing. He wanted to grab her, pull her tightly against him and lose himself in her. He wanted to slide into her warmth and hear her quiet moans of pleasure as they discovered each other. But he couldn’t. It didn’t matter if she claimed to be in love with him.
Nothing had changed. She was still too young. Too inexperienced to know what she wanted. She was still the kid who had followed him around the yard, peppering him with questions until he’d wanted to lock her in Annie’s bedroom.
Despite the fact that she didn’t look or feel like a kid at the moment, he couldn’t take advantage of her feelings to ease the ache throbbing inside him. And he certainly couldn’t expect a kid her age to make some kind of lifelong pledge of love.
Although he thought it might kill him, he forced himself to say, “Thank you, Casey. I appreciate it.”
Her eyes mirrored the questions racing through her brain.
“You appreciate it?”
“Casey, I know you don’t want to hear this—”
“Then don’t say it. Please, Jake.” Her fingers curled into the front of his shirt. “Don’t say it.”
“I have to.” He reached up and covered her hand with one of his own. “I’m thirty years old, honey. You’re just nineteen.”
“I turn twenty next month.”
“Twenty, then,” he conceded. His thumb smoothed across her knuckles and he felt the warmth of that touch right to his bones. “You haven’t even finished college yet.”
“What does that have to do with us?”
“There is no ‘us,’” he said, despite the pain that statement cost him.
“There could be.”
He shook his head.
“Are you saying you don’t feel anything for me?” she demanded.
“Casey…”
“I know you do, darn it. I know you feel something. I’ve seen the way you look at me. It’s the same way I look at you.”
Damn.
“Please, don’t turn me away. I don’t want to leave you.” She stepped closer, reached up and cupped the back of his neck. Slowly she drew his head down to hers, then pressed her lips to his.
Jake groaned and forced himself to stand perfectly still under her gentle assault. The touch of her mouth was electrifying. Something sparked between the two of them. Something rare and magical. Still, he made no move to hold her, instead calling on the strength of his will to resist the incredible temptation she offered.
Then she dropped the quilt and sheet and reached up to wrap both arms around his neck. She pressed herself to him and he felt her hardened nipples rubbing against his chest. Desire rocketed through him, hard and hot. He wanted to do the right thing here, but Lord, he was only human.
When his arms closed around her bare back, a purr of satisfaction rumbled from her throat. His hands moved up and down the length of her spine, touching, exploring. Her lips parted and his tongue swept inside her mouth, tasting her for the first time. She was sweeter, more intoxicating than he had ever imagined. Instantly he knew that if he didn’t stop that minute, he would never be able to let her go.
Abruptly he released her and took a step back.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered. Her eyes were glazed with the smoldering fires of a passion just born. It was almost enough to make him forget his blasted attempt at nobility. Almost.
“What’s wrong?” he repeated. “This.” He bent down, scooped up the quilt and quickly draped it around her. “This whole thing is wrong,” he snapped, then took another step away from her.
“How can it be when it feels so right?”
“Damn, Casey! I’m not made of stone, all right?” He glared at her briefly, then stomped past her to stare out the windows at the darkness outside. “Do us both a favor and leave, huh? Now. Before we both do something that can’t be undone.”
He heard her sniff and knew she was crying. Something cold settled in his chest, but he didn’t look at her. He knew that if he turned and saw tears on her face, this hard-won battle would be lost. An eternity-filled moment later she spoke again.
“All right then, I’ll leave.”
Thank God.
“You’re wrong, you know,” she said, and he flinched at the pain in her voice. “About us. Age has nothing to do with love, Jake Parrish. And someday you’re going to be sorry you sent me away tonight.”
The memories ended abruptly as those last whispered words echoed in his mind.
He had been sorry.
Every night since.
But especially so tonight.
“So,” she asked, “were you ever sorry?”
Jake turned slowly, inevitably, to face the woman standing in the open doorway of the bedroom. She’d finally gotten out of that wet wedding gown and was now draped in an oversize turquoise bath sheet.
“Sorrier than you’ll ever know,” he admitted finally.
“Good.” Casey walked into the room holding his gaze with hers. Strange, the last time she’d been alone with this man she’d been stark naked. Now she wore only a towel. Judging by the flash of awareness in his eyes, he’d certainly noticed.
She’d only had to glance at him to know that he was reliving that long-ago night. Somehow it made her feel better to know that Jake, too, had regrets. She wondered what he would think if he knew her main regret was that she had allowed him to chase her away.
“Here.” He held out his robe toward her. “You can wear this while I try to find you some sweats or something.”
“Thanks,” she said, and took the robe. She slipped into the garment, pulling it on right over the towel already covering her. Once the terry-cloth belt was tied at her waist, she turned back to him.
“I tossed my dress across the shower rod since it’s still dripping mud. I hope that’s OK.”
“Sure.”
He looked as uncomfortable as she felt.
History repeating itself?
“This isn’t exactly how I imagined my wedding night turning out,” she said suddenly on a laugh that held more nervousness than humor.
“What happened?” he asked. “Why are you here and not on some elaborate honeymoon?”
Another choked laugh shot from her throat before she could stop it. “I think the rules are you have to actually be married to go on a honeymoon.”
His gaze narrowed and even in the semidarkness, she could see his familiar scowl.
Casey reached up and pushed her towel-dried but still-damp hair back from her face. Walking to the bed, Casey perched on the edge of the mattress, bracing her heels on the bed frame.
“What happened, Casey?” he asked again.
She set her elbows on her knees, glanced at Jake and shrugged. “Oh, nothing much. My groom decided at the last minute that marrying me wasn’t such a good idea, after