Barb glanced at her husband. ‘Thirty-five years this August.’
‘Wow! Congratulations.’
‘Thank you, dear. I have to say it’s been wonderful. We’ve never had a cross word and we’ve never spent more than a night apart.’
‘How do you do it? Stay so happy, I mean?’
‘We pursue our own hobbies, but we also make sure we follow an interest together. Which is why we’re doing this. We both love walking and seeing the country. Though last year Con had a few heart issues, so we thought we’d come on this course. Combine an interest with a necessity. Sometimes you can be out in the middle of nowhere and it can take hours before you get medical attention. We both thought it a good idea to get some medical basics under our belts.’
Beau nodded. It was a good idea. For a long time she had thought that basic first aid, and especially CPR, ought to be taught in schools. So many more people would survive accidents or sudden turns of events in their own health if everyone was taught the basics.
‘Good for you.’
‘What made you come on this course? This kind of stuff must be old hat to you.’
Beau looked across the plateau they’d reached, at the glorious sweeping plains, a patchwork of green, grey and purple hues, and the mountains in the distance. The open expanse. ‘I got cabin fever. Needed to get back to nature for a while.’
‘And the other doctor? The Scottish one? It looked like you two know each other.’
There was so much she could have said.
Why, yes, I do know that lying, conniving, horrible Scot...
‘Briefly. A long time ago. We haven’t seen each other for a while.’
Barb peered at her, her eyebrows raised. ‘Parted on bad terms, did you?’
She smiled politely. ‘You could say that.’
‘Aw...’ The older woman patted her arm. ‘Life’s too short for holding on to anger, honey. When you get to our age, you learn that. Our son Caleb, bless his heart, always jokes that Con and I are “on the coffin side of fifty”!’ She laughed out loud. ‘And he’s right—we are. People waste too much time being angry or holding on to resentments and it keeps them stuck in one place. They can’t move forward, they can’t move on, and they lose so much time in life, focusing on being stuck in the sad when they could be focusing on being happy.’
Beau appreciated what Barb was trying to say, but it didn’t help. There was still so much anger inside her focused on Gray. Suddenly she realised that until she heard some sort of explanation from him, she didn’t think there was any way for her to move forward. She knew an apology wouldn’t help—not really. But maybe she’d like to hear it, see him wriggle about on the end of his hook like the worm that he was.
Gray McGregor owed her something, and until she heard it, she wasn’t sure what it was. But she wouldn’t let it bother her. She told herself she didn’t care. Even if she was still trapped in the past when it came to Gray. She might have grown up, found herself a stellar career and proved to her peers that she was one of the top neurologists in the country, but in her heart she was still a little girl lost. Hurt and abandoned.
Her heart broken in two.
And there was only a certain Scottish cardiologist who might be able to fix it.
* * *
Gray replayed in his mind his recent words with Beau. He kept his gaze upon her, walking far ahead of him, wondering how she was feeling.
Those dark auburn waves of hers bounced around her shoulders and gleamed russet in the sunshine. He could see her chatting amiably with Con and Barb and wished she could be as easygoing with him. It would make the next week a lot easier for both of them if they could put the past in the past and just concentrate on enjoying the hike and the medical scenarios.
But the sweet, agreeable Beau he’d once known seemed long gone, and in her place was a new version. And this one was flinty, cold and dismissive.
He wasn’t sure how to handle her like that, and he’d already been feeling enough guilt about what he’d done without her laying it on thick to make him feel worse.
I know I owe you an explanation.
So many times he’d thought about what he needed to say to her. How he intended to explain, to apologise. Always, in his own mind, the conversation went quite well. Beau would listen quietly and attentively. Most importantly, she would understand that the decision not to turn up at their wedding had hurt him just as much as it had hurt her.
But now he could see just how much he’d been wrong. Beau would not sit quietly and just listen. She would not be understanding and patient.
Had he changed her? By walking away from her, had he changed her personality?
So now he chose to give her space. Letting her walk with Barb and Conrad, staring at the back of her head so hard he kept expecting her to rub the back of it, as if the discomfort of his stare would become something physical.
And he worried. There was strain on her face, a pallor to her skin that reinforced the brightness of her freckles and the dark circles beneath her eyes.
Surely he wasn’t the cause of that? Surely she’d just been working too hard, or for too long, and wasn’t getting enough sleep? He knew she worked hard. He’d kept track of her career after medical school. She was one of the top neurologists in the country—maybe even in the whole of Europe. That had to take its toll, right?
But what if she’s ill?
A hundred possibilities ran through his mind, but he tossed them all aside, believing that she wouldn’t be so silly as to come out on a trek through the wilderness if she was ill.
It had to be stress. Doing too much and not eating properly.
He hadn’t seen a ring on her finger. As far as he was aware, she wasn’t married, and the hours she worked would leave hardly any time for dating. Unless she was seeing someone at work? There was always that possibility...
He shifted at the uncomfortable thought and tugged at the neckline of his tee shirt, feeling uneasy. Hating the fact that the idea of her being with someone else still made him feel odd.
Yet she was never mine to have. I should never have let it get so far in the first place. I was wrong for her.
‘Here you go...have a pull of this.’ Rick offered him a small flask. ‘It’ll keep you going. Always does the trick for me at the start of a long hike.’
Gray considered the offer, but then shook his head. ‘No, thanks. Best to stick to water. That stuff will dehydrate you.’
‘What do you think I’ve got in here?’ Rick grinned.
‘It’s a whisky flask, so I’m guessing...alcohol?’
‘Nah! It’s just an energy drink my wife makes. It’s got guarana in it. It’s good for you!’
Gray took the flask and sniffed at it. It smelled very sweet. ‘And how much caffeine?’
‘Dunno. But it tastes great!’
He passed it back without sampling it. ‘Do you know that some energy drinks can trigger cardiac arrest even in someone healthy?’
Rick stopped drinking and held the flask in front of him uncertainly. ‘Really?’
‘If you consume too many. The high levels of caffeine mixed with other substances can act like a drug, stimulating the central nervous system to high levels when consumed in high doses.’
‘You’re serious? I thought all that pineapple and grapefruit juice was good for me.’
‘It can be. Just don’t add all the other stuff. Do you know for sure what’s in there?’