“Here you go,” he said, and then hesitated as she grasped the heavy burlap. “I hate you having to gather buffalo chips,” he said.
“I’m healthy and able,” she told him. “I’m just lucky not to have run out of wood before this. All the other women do their share, and I’m no different.”
“That’s where we’re going to disagree,” Finn said. “You are different. In the first place, you’re going to have a baby.”
“All women have babies,” Jessica told him. “I knew when I started out from Saint Louis that this wasn’t going to be an easy trip. I’m not afraid of work, and I can certainly do my share, whether it’s picking up buffalo chips or cooking or walking with the team. As a matter of fact, the responsibility is mine—all of it.”
“Not anymore it isn’t,” Finn said gruffly. “You’re going to have a man to take care of you, Jessica. I’m planning on it being me.”
“I thought I had a choice in this,” she said smartly. “Gage Morgan is interested in me. And I’ve had several other of the men looking my way.”
“And you wouldn’t take on any of them,” Finn told her. “Maybe Morgan, in a pinch. But I’d rather you didn’t consider him, either.” His jaw was taut and his eyes blazed with an icy fire. “I want to marry you, Jessica. It isn’t a spur-of-the-moment thing with me. I’ve been committing the sin of looking at a married woman with desire in my heart for the past—”
“Stop it, Finn Carson,” she said, cutting his declaration short. “I don’t want to hear this. It makes me feel like you’ve been waiting for something to happen to Lyle so you could come courting me.”
“No, I didn’t wish him dead,” Finn told her firmly. “But I sure as hell wished he wasn’t your husband. The man didn’t deserve you, Jessica.”
She snatched at the burlap bag and stalked away, heading for the team, the pair of them standing with their heads down waiting for the signal to leave. Finn’s admission was honest, she’d give him that. And he was right—it was a sin to be looking at another man’s wife. Look what that sort of shenanigans got poor King David in the Bible.
Jessica laughed beneath her breath. She was no Bathsheba, that was for sure. But she’d be willing to bet that an offer from Finn Carson was as good as she’d ever come by in this lifetime. The man was prime. Golden hair that tempted her fingers to measure its silky length, and blue eyes that touched her with tenderness.
“Can I walk with you?” Arlois approached, her own bag in hand, and Jessica smiled a welcome.
“It looks like we’ve been given the job of gathering up tonight’s fuel for the fires,” she said, holding her own bag at arm’s length.
Arlois wrinkled her nose. “I’d think firewood would be the better choice,” she said. “I told David that handling buffalo dung was not my idea of fun, and he told me he’d give me fun after dark tonight.”
Jessica laughed softly, a yearning for the sort of happiness Arlois shared with her David sweeping over her. She’d heard their murmurs as they walked outside the circle of wagons on occasion, had noted David’s possessive gaze on his wife, had seen his hand reach for Arlois as they sat by the fire at night. They had two children, and yet there was a shine about them that made her think they still resembled newlyweds.
She’d had little of that sort of affection with Lyle. Maybe with Finn, she thought. And in her mind’s eye she could envision his hand enclosing hers, imagine his body sheltering her from the wind.
“Jessica?” Arlois peered at her. “Did I upset you, talking that way about David? I wasn’t thinking.” Her cheeks blushed crimson, as if she regretted her impetuous remark. “I forgot for a minute about Lyle…about him being gone.” She faltered and then leaned closer to hug Jessica.
“Do you miss him at all?” she asked. “I mean, I know he wasn’t a very kind man, but he was your husband—and I’m just rattling on like an idiot, aren’t I?”
Jessica stifled a laugh. “You’re not an idiot,” she said, admonishing Arlois. “And you’re right about Lyle. He wasn’t very kind to anyone, least of all me. We were married, but never close the way you are with David, or Geraldine is with Harvey.”
Arlois squeezed her tightly for a second and then stepped back. “Well then, I won’t apologize for being so blunt. I think you’d be better off with any one of the other bachelors than you were with Lyle.” She grinned. “Although I’m partial to Finn Carson, if the truth be known.” And then her eyes widened and she groaned.
“Here comes another suitor, Jessica. And this one is scary. I’m not sure what there is about Mr. Morgan, but he’s a little frightening if you ask me.” She set out at a fast pace. “I’m going to do a roundabout for a while, see if I can fill my bag and make David happy.” With a wave of her hand at the approaching horseman, she walked at an angle, joining several other women who were scanning the ground on either side of the train for fuel for tonight’s supper fires.
“Mrs. Beaumont.” Gage Morgan slid from his gelding and held the reins in one hand, then closed the gap until he walked apace with Jessica. “I thought I’d check on you and see if there’s anything I can do to lend a hand.” He gestured toward her bag. “I see you’re going foraging this afternoon. Maybe I can bring you some wood from our stockpile instead,” he offered.
“I doubt your partners would appreciate you sharing their supply,” Jessica said. “I don’t mind gathering chips.”
He nodded, as if he accepted her refusal of his offer, and then took her arm. “I made you a walking stick,” he said. “I hope you have use for it. I thought I’d ask first and then bring it by later if you like.”
She looked down at his hand, and he grimaced and released her elbow, murmuring a soft apology. “I’m sorry if I offended you,” he said nicely. “Perhaps I’ll stop by the wagon and get the stick now. It will make it easier for you, I think.”
“That’s thoughtful of you,” she said, unwilling to be rude, yet not wanting to be beholden to the man in any way. His gaze touched her again, dark and shuttered, as if he saw within her and could know her thoughts. His next words supported that theory, she decided.
“I wonder what there is about me that frightens you,” he said quietly. “I don’t think I’ve ever done anything to cause you alarm, have I?”
She shook her head. “No, of course not. I’m not easily frightened, Mr. Morgan.”
“I’m sure,” he said agreeably. “But nevertheless, I’d like to get to know you a little better, ma’am. But I don’t want to be pushy or infringe on your grief.”
Jessica met his gaze head-on. “I’m not grieving, Mr. Morgan. My marriage was not a happy one, as you have probably already guessed.” Her shoulders lifted in a shrug as she continued. “I’ve decided that life must go on, no matter what.”
“Then would my proposal to you be out of line?” he asked. “I’d like you to consider marrying me, ma’am. I know that Jonas McMasters has given you a choice of either marrying one of the single men of the group, or leaving the train in Council Grove and going back East.”
“News travels fast, doesn’t it?” She picked up her pace, feeling a flush paint her cheeks at his words. “I feel as if I’m up on an auction block, Mr. Morgan, and I’m not enjoying it one little bit.”
“You’re