Hell, he was forgetting everything. The world was crumbling into bits around his boots. None of it seemed to matter as he cradled his daughter to his chest, holding her as gingerly as when she’d been newborn.
There was nothing but the sound of her broken sobs and the echo of his heels on the parlor floor. The scrape of the rocker as he eased into the chair. The squeak of a spring. And the feel of heartbreak.
He held Georgie tight and rocked her until there was only silence.
Will emerged from the shadowed depths of the barn. “How’s Georgie?”
“Asleep.” Nick yanked on the stall door. It didn’t give, the damn thing. The hinge was sprung, leaving the wood door jammed into the frame. He kicked it hard, and wood scraped against wood, freeing the door, but not his frustration.
He could still feel Georgie curled against his chest, sobbing so hard her little body shook.
He hurt for her. Would take every grief, every anguish, every bit of pain from her if he could. The door crashed against the wall. The loud crack startled the mare in the stall. She whinnied and sidestepped, her head lifting high in alarm.
That’s it, Nick. Scare the horse while you’re at it. He pushed aside all thoughts of Georgie, but not his troubles. The feel of her sobs stayed with him as he reached for the mare’s bridle, speaking low.
He was in trouble. Up a creek without a paddle at the mouth of a waterfall. He was wise enough to know the plunge would be swift and lethal. He wasn’t on the boat alone. His children were with him.
Will plopped a saddle on the nearby four-by-four. “You look troubled, big brother.”
“Real sharp of you to notice.” Nick kept his voice gruff, because it kept the young man in line. “Got enough ammunition in that pack of yours?”
“I’m packed and waitin’ for you.” Cocky, Will tipped his hat. “You know what you need?”
“A clean blanket. Fetch me one, will you?” Nick slid the brush over the mare’s withers in a few quick swipes. Her tail swished side to side, calmer now, but he couldn’t say the same.
Something had to change. One thing was for sure, he couldn’t last another week like this. Neither could the children.
“Know what you need, big brother?”
“A foreman that does more work than talking?”
“Funny. What you need to solve all your problems is another wife.” Will tossed the blanket.
“A wife, huh?” Nick caught it and smoothed the length of wool into place. “Just goes to show what you know. A wife doesn’t solve troubles. She’s the source of ’em.”
“A little bitter, huh?” Will hoisted the saddle easily onto the mare’s back. “Matrimony isn’t supposed to be bliss, from what I hear. Torture or not, it is something you’re gonna have to do sooner or later, so why wait?”
Nick hated it when his brother was right. Jaw clenched tight, he unhooked the stirrup from the saddle horn, letting it swing into place. He’d be the first to admit life had been damn near impossible with Lida, but without her…
“Pa?” Joey ambled into sight with his Stetson crooked, jacket still open, shirt half untucked. He looked uncertain and small and…nine years old. Hell, he was a boy missing his mother.
Leaving Will to cinch the saddle, Nick came down on one knee. “What is it, cowboy?”
“Georgie’s sleepin’. I’m gonna make sure she doesn’t run off again.” So serious, as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Nick put his hand there, on the slim curve of his son’s shoulder. One day Joey would be a good man, strong and hardworking and upstanding. The man he would be was easy to see in the boy, his chin set fierce and determined.
Nick’s chest ached. He wanted life to be better for his son. “You’re a good brother, but your grandfather is responsible for watching Georgie. You want to come riding with us?”
“Grandpop falls asleep sometimes.” Joey bit his bottom lip with indecision. He glanced over his shoulder at the house. “I’d best stay and watch over them both, I reckon.”
There’d been a time when the boy never turned down the chance to ride his horse on the range. Another thing Lida had stolen from him.
What am I going to do about Joey? Nick had no answer as he watched the boy amble back to the house, his boots dragging in the dirt. Would a new wife make a difference? A woman to lift the burden from Joey’s shoulders?
A housekeeper couldn’t do it. It would merely be a job to her, and one day she’d leave for a better opportunity.
No, his children deserved more than that. Needed more than that. They deserved stability and commitment. A woman who would always be there for them.
Joey disappeared from sight. The door slammed behind him, the smack of wood on wood carrying on the wind, sounding lonely and final and accusing. The image of Mariah Scott, holding Georgie in her arms, flashed into Nick’s thoughts.
Nope. Forget it. If he had his way, there would never be another woman in his life. Ever.
Will handed over the reins. “Children need a mother to grow up happy.”
“You’re an expert?”
“Not from personal experience, but I am a keen observer.”
“Of pretty women, maybe.” Nick gathered the reins and shot his foot into the stirrup.
“A pretty woman is one of life’s necessities. Another is a wife who can cook. We can’t keep eating our brother’s cooking. Dakota is likely to kill us with that slop he calls food.”
“Mount up. We’ve got cattle to check on. Save your great wisdom for someone who needs it.”
“If anyone needs wisdom, it’s you, big brother.”
“I’m wise enough to know I shouldn’t listen to you.” Nick eased into the saddle. “Are you comin’?”
Leather creaked as Will mounted up. “Know what you ought to do? Go to the fund-raiser they’ve got tonight for the town school. There’ll be plenty of women there. Maybe one of them wouldn’t mind getting married to an ugly cuss like you.”
Nick decided to let that one pass without comment. He didn’t feel like trading jests.
“Don’t say no right off, not until you think it through.” Will bent in his saddle to unlatch the gate. “The dance tonight will give you the chance to see what your options are. You could even dance with the lady of your choice. If she lowers her standards.”
Nick nosed his mare through the gate and waited with the wind knifing through his jacket while Will hooked the latch.
Go to the dance? Look over the marriageable women like horses lined up at an auction? That didn’t sit right. He had no interest in taking any woman to wife.
Except his children were what mattered, what counted.
The high plains rolled from horizon to horizon and gave no answers.
A wife? He had to consider it. Maybe he would go to the dance tonight. Look at his options. See what could be. Marrying this time would be different. He was older. No one expected a man his age and with children needing a mother to marry for love.
A marriage of convenience. Isn’t that what he and Lida had anyway? They’d lived in the same house and each did their work. Then fell into separate beds at night.
Troubled, he rubbed his chest. The spot behind his breastbone kept growing tighter and tighter. He didn’t want a wife, but Lord knew he needed one.
His children needed a mother.
“Your