‘I do.’ He looked at his watch. ‘It’s time I headed over to the lecture theatre. Will you fill me in on some more of Julie’s details on the way?’
It was the dream that had haunted him for the last eighteen months, sometimes once every week or two, sometimes every night. He woke up with a stifled cry, icy sweat against his cheek. For a moment, he couldn’t work out where he was, and then the dim glow of the nightlight brought him to his senses. The muslin drapes, drawn across the half-open French doors, fluttered in the night breeze and he slowly got out of bed, shaking his head, trying to reclaim his place in the waking world.
Slipping outside onto the moss-lined stones of the patio, he took a deep draught of air, inhaling the smell of the city, mingling with the softer scents of the garden. He started, instinctively drawing back into the shadows, as a sharp click sounded above his head.
Jenna had opened the door, which led on to an iron railed balcony above his head, and was standing beside the steps that snaked down to the patio, just a few feet away from where he stood. In the darkness Adam could see only that she wore something loose, swirling around her bare feet, and that her hair was a wild shadow around her head.
He held his breath. She was leaning over the balcony, craning round towards him, and he guessed that she could see the open French doors and the light inside. Adam flattened himself against the wall and watched as she seemed to sniff the air, like some shy, nocturnal creature of the forest.
A fox trotted across the lawn. Her head jerked upwards and she followed its progress, waiting until it had disappeared into the shrubbery before she turned and slowly walked back into the house. Adam heard the catch on the door being fastened and then there was silence.
He swiped his hand across his face. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day, and he should try to sleep again. The thought that she was there, perhaps even watching over him, calmed him. Tomorrow would be time enough to probe the intriguing contradictions of his flame-haired, disturbingly gorgeous landlady.
CHAPTER THREE
‘LOOK, she’s here now.’ Julie’s face lit up into a grin and Adam turned to see Jenna entering the ward. Red hair, bound tightly at the back of her head, white shirt and dark slacks. Even in such severe attire she looked like an angel. Not one of those sweet, dimpled ones, looking down dispassionately from the safety of a cloud. She was a warrior angel, the kind you’d really like to have on your side when things got tough, who rushed in where everyone else feared to tread and plucked you out of danger.
‘She comes every lunchtime, does she?’ Adam knew that she did. Iain had already told him that.
‘Yes. Just for half an hour. Sometimes less.’ There was a hint of resentment in Julie’s voice and Adam reflected just how precious that time was for Jenna. A snatched half-hour when most of the A and E staff were happy just to grab a sandwich and get their breath for a few minutes.
Before he had time to answer, Jenna was at the foot of the bed, her fingers grasping the rail where Julie’s notes hung. ‘Hi, there.’ She was all smiles. ‘How are you, then? You’re looking better.’
Julie flashed her a grin. ‘Yeah, I feel better. That other doctor says I’m doing okay. They’ve got the pain control sorted now.’
‘Good.’ Jenna’s gaze caught Adam’s and he basked in its warmth for a moment before her attention was back on Julie. ‘I see you’ve met Dr Sinclair.’
‘Yes.’ Julie turned her wide blue eyes on to Adam. ‘He’s going to monitor my progress.’
Jenna’s face lit up. She looked a great deal more enthusiastic about it than she had the other day but, then, she’d obviously enjoyed his lecture, questioning him about it all the way home. ‘Really? That’s good. You’ve made plenty already.’
‘Suppose so.’ A porter wheeled a squeaking trolley into the ward and Julie flinched. Adam remembered that reaction all too clearly. All your senses on red alert, every moment of the day. Alarm at any sudden noise.
Jenna had leaned forward, her hand tapping Julie’s foot gently. ‘Hey. Earth to Julie. It’s okay, honey, just a porter.’
‘Yeah. Just a porter.’ Julie’s eyes filled with tears and Jenna’s helpless gaze flipped to Adam.
‘Listen, Julie, these feelings are natural.’ Adam repeated what he’d been told so many times. ‘It will pass. You just have to hang in there until it does.’
‘When?’ Julie almost spat the word at him. ‘When will it pass?’ Adam recognised that sudden, volatile fury too. As if his heart was already full to the brim with anger, and only a drop more would make it spill over.
‘I can’t tell you. There are ways we can help you …’ Adam tailed off as Julie turned her head away from him. He was losing her.
‘What do you want, Julie?’ Jenna’s voice cut across the space between them. ‘Dr Sinclair can lie to you if you like. Give you a time and a date when everything will be back as it was. Or he can respect you enough to tell you the truth.’
The warrior was back. The woman who took life by the shoulders and shook hard until she got what she wanted. Adam grinned and took Jenna’s cue. ‘I could lie. Do you want me to?’
‘Of course not.’ Julie shot an imploring look at Jenna. ‘But it’s all so much talk, isn’t it?’
Adam saw Jenna’s knuckles whiten as she gripped the rail at the end of the bed. She’d done a good job with Julie. She’d gained her trust, and she’d used it to help Iain and the other doctors do their work. But she’d hit a brick wall here.
Unless … Adam hadn’t planned on this, but the agonised look in Jenna’s eyes spurred him on. ‘That’s what I thought when the doctors said that to me. So they sent me to a counsellor and I didn’t believe her either. In the end you have to find out for yourself.’
He had Julie’s attention. Jenna’s too, only she was trying not to look at him with such overt interest as Julie. ‘What do you know about it?’
‘I’ve been there. Not in the same way as you, but I think I understand part of what you’re feeling. I was shot, and ended up in hospital in Florida.’
Julie’s eyes were as round as saucers. ‘Like on TV?’
Jenna huffed quietly. ‘No, it’s not the same as on TV, Julie …’ Adam waved her to silence. Now wasn’t the time for her to spring to his defence, however much it pleased him to hear her do it.
‘The thing is that being shot changed my view of the world. Before, I’d thought that I was pretty much unbreakable, but I realised that I wasn’t. I had to relearn how to do the smallest things without panicking. But I did, which is how I know that you can. And that you will.’
Julie stared at him, and then gave him a curt nod. Slowly, her eyes left his face and focussed on Jenna. ‘Did you bring me some chocolate?’
Jenna reached into her pocket and held up a pound coin. ‘It’s in the machine if you want it. Dr Sinclair will come with us, it’s right outside the doors of the ward.’
Julie fingered the blanket that lay over her legs. ‘I don’t want to disturb my skin grafts.’
‘You won’t.’ Adam tapped the thick file that he had brought with him. ‘I’ve read all of your notes and the skin grafts have taken nicely. You can get up and move around gently now. In fact, it’ll be good for you, stimulate the circulation.’
Julie wrinkled her nose. ‘They look horrible. I’ve seen them when they do the dressings.’
‘I know.’ He fingered the envelope he had tucked inside the file, wondering whether now was the time to bring it out. ‘They’ll look better. You know that, don’t you?’
‘Yeah. S’pose so.’ Julie huffed a sigh. ‘Every day, in every way it just gets better