‘You know it does not.’ And in his own ears, his voice sounded sullen. A spoiled child’s muttering, just as she had said. He had best gain control of himself, or the children would end up with the Collinghams. And the last thing he wished was for them to grow up to be just like their mother.
‘Then we are agreed. I shall go back to Miss Collins and arrange for her salary. You shall put on your coat, comb your hair and come to meet your new servant.’ She turned and swept from the room.
Tim sat at his desk, head cradled in his hands. Penny had made another effort to arrange his life. He supposed he was expected to be grateful for it, but felt nothing more than numb.
Perhaps she was right in it. If he was as concerned for his children as he claimed, then surely he did not wish to cause them more pain than he had already. And at this late date, an airing of the family secrets would do more harm than good.
With any luck, this latest governess would last no longer in the house than the previous one had, or the ones before that. They had all found the children ‘difficult’ and the master of the house ‘disturbing’, although he doubted that they had admitted that last fact to Penny. But on the rare occasions when they spoke to him directly, he could see that they had guessed the truth. It was in their eyes, and in the great care they took never to be alone with him.
Once Miss Collins fled, things would return to quiet and solitude. A few months would bring them to the start of the spring term. He would pack Edmund and Lily off to the best schools he could find. And for a time, he would be alone with Sophie.
He felt his heart wrench again, wondering how much lonelier it would be when he was left to parent the silent little girl, without the buffering of the two older children. Then he pushed it to the back of his mind, and rose from his desk to greet the new governess.
As he pulled on a jacket and ran a hand through his hair, he thought of the reflection of Miss Collins in the hallway mirror. He had seen her, from the corner of his eye, moving slowly into focus, trying to glean the details of a conversation she had no part in. Was she curious as to the fate of her employment? It spoke of a desperation that was absent from the previous candidates. If the job was so important to her, then it might be difficult to dislodge her from it.
Or it could be something else. Something far more sinister. Spies listened at doors. If she came to this house to learn and not to teach, then he had another problem altogether.
As he neared the sitting room, he could hear the sound of voices through the open door. Penny was arranging the particulars. He was hardly needed. If he was lucky, he might have no further contact with the girl after this brief introduction. He stepped into the open doorway and froze in surprise, unprepared for what he saw.
The reflection in the mirror had not done her justice. It had been watery and unclear. Other than her eyes, which were curiously intense, he had not noticed anything singular about her. But in person?
He caught his breath. She was a beauty, and the failed attempt at simple clothing and stern coiffure did nothing to hide the fact. Her hair was a rich chestnut, and framed a face that was softly rounded, with full red lips and startlingly green eyes. He could imagine the curves of her body under the stiff fabric of her gown, for she had none of the sharp angles he’d come to associate with women of her class. There was nothing to hint at a privation that might have urged her to take a position. Nor did she have the pinched, disapproving look of one secretly envious of her charges’ wealth.
He gripped the door frame in surprise as a wave of lust swept over him. It had been a long time since he’d been with a woman. Too long, if he had begun to harbour thoughts about the servants, especially someone brought into his house to care for his children.
But as he looked at her again, he could not resist the thought that she might be better suited for the bedroom than the classroom.
Take her there, and see.
The thought chilled him, although his blood ran hot at the sight of the girl. It did not do to give too much weight to the odd thought that might cross one’s mind, in a moment of weakness.
Is it weakness or strength, to act on your desires instead of hiding from them? You were never such a coward, before.
More madman than coward, if he was hearing voices. And even more mad to listen. If what one desired was wrong, one must not succumb.
Too late for that. You are already lost. If you want the girl, wait until the house is asleep. Then go to her and take her.
No. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see the object of temptation, and willed his pulse to slow. But it only became easier to imagine the skin hidden under the plain dress, and the smooth feel of it against his, the soft lips startled open by his kiss, and the tightness of her body as he came into her.
The voice in his head gave a sigh of satisfaction. Open your eyes and look at her, coward.
He could feel his will weakening as he allowed himself to be persuaded. Surely she did not seek the life of a governess, unless all matrimonial options had failed. She must have resigned herself to never knowing the touch of a man. If she was lonely, and as frustrated as he was, then was seduction such a great crime?
You have done worse.
Everything inside him froze. He had done worse. And worse yet, he had escaped punishment for his crime. One could justify anything, if one could live with one’s self after doing the unthinkable.
Penny turned and saw him, standing in the entrance, and gave a hurrumph of frustration at his lack of manners. ‘There you are, Timothy. Come into the room and meet Miss Collins.’
‘Miss Collins.’ He bowed, stiffly, from the waist.
The young woman stood as he entered, and responded with a curtsy, and a cool and professional smile. ‘Lord Colton.’
‘I understand you have been retained by the Duchess to see to the care of my children. It is so nice to finally meet my new employee.’ He gave her a pointed look to tell her he had seen her hiding in the hall, and was annoyed by it and the Duchess’s handling of the whole affair.
‘And to finally meet my employer.’ She responded with a look that seemed to convey her opinion of a man who cared so little for his own family that he would leave such an important decision to a neighbour.
Their eyes locked, as though in battle. For a moment, he was convinced that she had heard the voices in his head as clearly as he did himself, for she looked both disapproving and disgusted, though it was only their first meeting. Perhaps he deserved her censure. But it angered him, all the same. So he held her gaze far longer than was proper, until he was sure that she knew who was master and who was servant. At last, she broke away and cast her eyes downward. He gave a small nod of satisfaction, and said, ‘Welcome to my home. And now, if you will excuse me?’ And he left the room with Penny dumbfounded and his pride intact.
‘That man,’ muttered the Duchess in frustration and gave a small stamp of her foot.
‘Indeed.’ Daphne swallowed, trying to control the strange feeling she had had, as her cousin’s husband had smiled at her. He had stared at her far too long, until the look in his eyes had gone from sullen to seductive. He had looked at her as a wolf might look at a lamb.
She was sure that the Duchess had not seen the worst of it, thinking the man had been rude and not threatening. For when she turned to Daphne, she had a